Monday, May 25, 2020

Day 432 - Fear and Greed – Part 2


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make investment and trade decisions for any other reason that pattern recognition.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a trader with a positive resonance in my mind wherein I create an ego point in association with the physical action of making trades.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior / desire to be superior within the point of trading not realizing that this is derived from the starting point of feeling inferior which is fear of not being enough / fear of not being as good as others.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold within and as myself a resonant fear of not being as good as / fear of being less than others within and as myself and to then be directed by it, instead of being directed by breath and the purpose of creating a world of equality wherein I / we live within  the physical reality that we are all in fact equals with different abilities.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trade and invest impulsively / emotionally instead of breathing and following a principle behind each and every decision.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire money for the sake of having money, which is greed, in order to ease my fear of money / not having enough money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as how much money I have wherein the more money I have the more superior I am and vise versa; instead of realizing that I am a physical being and that never changes regardless of the amount of money I have and thus my value never changes nor does anyone else’s due to the amount of money anyone may or may not have.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the words freedom and money as if they somehow are a function of each other.  And I suppose they are within and as the system, as the more money one has the more one can do in the system, but in regards to real freedom, money has no bearing on the stopping of the mind as that is a personal commitment, with the exception that money can provide the tools and living support necessary to help one stop the mind, but money itself does not stop the mind.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EQUATE money to freedom, rather than seeing it for what it is as a tool to support one to acquire the support to stop the mind. 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear acting irresponsibly by losing money in the stock market, or any other type of invest or trade that I may make, especially when I see an investment going down in price unexpectedly.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine others laughing, mocking, and scolding me for losing money in an investment or trade telling me things like “you should know better”, “you cannot take such risks!” “you are irresponsible”.  As a reaction to this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself react further with becoming emotionally hasty and impatient becoming mind possessed to act impulsively making rash decisions to “sell” in order to “protect” myself from this (real or imagined), instead of committing to a disciplined trading and investing approach where I, without emotion and within as breath, only make a decision to buy or sell based upon criteria that I have defined in advance, and also based on specific patterns and trends that I have also learned to recognize in advance.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in the past, get worked up into an emotional frenzy (as described above), and then become completely mind-possessed where I physically stop everything that I am doing, go to the computer place my hands on the keyboard and begin typing into the keyboard a sell trade based upon pure emotion where I am not here directing me within and as breath.  I commit myself to, when faced with the point of selling, this is usually based on the primary point of Fear of Loss, and thus I commit myself to stop everything in that moment by keeping my hands flat on the desk or on my lap or completely walking away from the computer and doing nothing except breathing until I ground these emotions into and within and as the physical, putting out the fire.  I commit myself to breathe methodically and to remind myself that I must stick to my pre-arranged patterns and buy and selling commitments.  I commit myself to decide in advance the criteria that is required to sell a security AKA stop loss, and stick to it no matter what.

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