Day 393 – Always looking for the “perfect words”, Part I

I have noticed a subconscious mind pattern of always looking for the perfect words while conversation with others, especially those who have something that I want. This shows me that I have a starting point of fear of loss, fear of loss of sex, money, position, privilege. It also shows me that I am manipulative and controlling in that I am trying to control and manipulate others through the careful choice of my words. It shows me that I also lack self trust in that I don’t trust myself to be able to walk through any potential adverse consequences that could come about from a poor choice of words.

I also noticed, within this personality, that I am constantly worried about how others are judging my words and voice intonations as the come out and I am projecting that they are mostly judging me negatively; and then from there I go into fear reactions, worries, and concerns of how others are perceiving me while I am still talking to them, where I am shifting into my mind, instead of remaining here while listening and conversing. This shows me that I am judging, myself negatively, I must have a poor self image as a backdrop to this, and that I am making my conversation less effective in that I am not here to respond as appropriately as I could if I were here listening in full attentiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a poor self image. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself / my words / my voice intonations from the “eyes” of others and immediately react with the idea that others are judging me negatively. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to these projected negative self-judgments with adjustments in my personality and behavior, in real time, within this point of trying to present myself as amiably as possible as a means to manipulate and control my self image in the eyes of others, when in fact it is in my own eyes that I am in effect manipulating and controlling my own self image. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself expression to only being able to express within the confines of what I have deemed as “acceptable” conduct in the eyes of others and my perceived expectations that they hold of how I should act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulative within my words and deeds in a means to make people like me more all in and as a reaction and as a solution to the perception that I created within and as myself that others are already judging me negatively due to the fact that I projected my own negative self judgments based upon my negative self image onto others as if they are judging me, when it is I who am judging me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this pattern of projecting negative self judgments of my words and voice intonations, and then reacting to this perceived judgments with worries, fears, imaginations about how the others is judging me, while in conversation with others to exist within and as me. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow this pattern to be triggered when and as I am in conversation or about to be in conversation, or reflecting back on a conversation with someone of whom has something that I want or I have come to believe that I am inferior to them in some way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this pattern of being worried about how others are perceiving me while in conversation with them can actually protect me in anyway whatsoever from what I fear, of which is being rejected, ridiculed, or criticized.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear / connect fear to the point of being ridiculed, criticized, and rejected by someone of whom I want or need something from or I have placed myself as inferior to. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to this fear with imaginations, projections, worries, concerns, and back-chats where I start analyzing my own conversation while still in conversation, wherein I then react to this with even more fear – all developing into a form of slight paranoia – all while still in conversation of which separates me from others even more and isolates me into the confines of my own mind, thus creating exactly what I fear – being rejected by others, but because of the fact that I am not listening because I am consumed in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with insecurity when and as others are not responding to my words in the way that I expect them to wherein I immediately assume that they are negatively judging me and / or taking me in the wrong way.

Day 392 – Reconstituting my authority, part II

Continued SF from Creations JTL post:

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that unless I get to an Equal point to both mind, physical, and resonance authority – directly, that the point / pattern will not change. It will just cycle into another layer / another time-line / cycle.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that because I have allowed these patterns / points to exist within and as me over time over the course of my life and many lives, that my substance-self and my physical body have accepted these patterns as my primary authority and thus this is what I have to change – my substance self, the eternal self.”

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that these patterns do not change because the patterns the “me” that is attempting to change is not standing equal to the authority that established the pattern in the first place.”

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that unless I can say “till here no further, I stop!” and thus stop in one breath, immediately, I still do not have authority and thus my forgiveness will be temporary.”





So, what does this mean to me:

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all of the tacit approvals and acceptances of patterns that I have given in the past have accumulated and layered to form a primary authority that over-rides any desire or will to change those patterns because in essence I am not actually standing equal to the accumulated permissions that I have for those patterns to exist within and as my in the first place and thus my physical and my substance self in essence just simply does not “believe” me and thus keeps the patterns in place.

Thus, I commit myself to from here on out stand equal to the authority / primary authority that I created and placed within and as the very patterns that I created through layers of permissions over time. I commit myself to investigate the point of authority so that over time I can establish myself as my primary authority here thus enabling myself to be able to stop patterns in one breath when and as I see them within and as me.

Day 391 – Reconstituting my authority, part I

From Creations Journey to Life, day 567: “Authority and Consequence”:

So, the following self forgiveness is more of paraphrasing from the original article, noted above, so as to help integrate this point of authority more clearly. Then I will do more impromptu self forgiveness on this point in the next writing, based on how I have integrated this point:

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the meaning and definition of Timeline Pattern is that because I have accepted and allowed myself as “this” pattern, my physical body has accepted “this” pattern as normal and thus is re-creating this pattern in anticipation as “my request”.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that patterns are layered and they work by permissions and that these permissions get embodied as resonances.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that a Primary Permission means to have both confirmed it as a permission before this life and in this life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that just trying to stop a pattern from the perspective of disengaging it will not work because my, pre-programmed and layered, permission is resonantly superior and thus carries more authority than just me as the mind attempting to disengage the pattern.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that because the pattern is permitted by me as the totality of me, accordingly when and as I attempt to stop within and as the mind and I am thus not speaking as the total authority as myself, here, that it will not disengage / the pattern will not stop because it is obeying my resonant permission of which has higher authority.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to consider and understand the principle within the point that if I live over multiple lives giving permission for a particular pattern of Authority which is the resonant self / the substance that is self will accept that pattern of permission as Authority and will accordingly give that overriding factor to keep the pattern in place no matter how much I try to change it.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that unless I stand in Equal Authority to how I created the pattern in the first place, that I will not be able to stop it.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that who I am existing as is all of the patterns, from all time, that I accepted and allowed, stored in my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all the patterns that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to exist as / give permission for are stored in my physical body spanning back multiple lives all under a Primary Authority which is myself / the collective permissions for these patterns that I have give = my primary authority of which over-rides my will to stop.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that unless I get to an equal point to the mind, the physical, and resonance as authority / directively, that any point that I wish change, will not change and will just cycle / time loop into another layer / another timeline / another time-cycle of which is ok so long as I disengage it time after time after time until I have got all of its layers.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that in that, going through all of the layers, it is still required that I regain / reconstitute my Authority, equal and one / here / as life as authority.

To be continued.

Day 390 – Deconstructing the Law of Attraction

OK, so, I am taking a reprieve from the previous writings on the Law of Attraction to first deconstruct the Law of Attraction and reveal it for what it really is. Then, I will look at how I intend to use the Law of Attraction in a practical way in this economic system as it is established now to see if I can increase my income.

So, the question is: Is the Law of Attraction really a solution and does is it really positive? The answer is no and no, and here's why:

The Law of Attraction is based upon generating positive thoughts / feelings / energy to then attract wealth to you. From my research, I believe that this does work at least on a practical level for certain people who use it, of which I will explain this later.

So, let's first look at how the Law of Attraction does not actually work for everyone, on 2 points:

1. You have to be in an area of the world system where money flows. If there is little or no money flowing in your region of the world, then you have little or no chance of using the Law of Attraction and thus it cannot apply to everyone equal and one. This is just basic math.

2. You have to have the right mind-consciousness system / personality alignment in the first place. This is why a huge percentage more of the population that tries to use the Law of Attraction gets no results, and winds up just spending money on books, seminars, and clubs. This is so because there are specific personality types that can utilize the Law of Attraction and then there is all the rest of us, because one's personality is a system of patterned behaviors that require enormous focused attention and self-application to actually change. Just hearing, reading, or going to seminars where one is exposed to information of the Law of Attraction is not enough to assist in changing the patterned personality traits that one has developed over their lifetime, and even lifetimes, into what would be conducive to utilizing the LOA. Thus, what happens is that most people try to use the principles of the LOA, but fail, and then a small percentage are able to get results due to their already existing pre-programmed personality types, that were either already active or lying dormant and then activated when hearing the LOA. But actually willfully changing one's personality / pre-programmed patterns that exist on the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind levels, in order to apply the LOA, is not something the most people are able to do as of yet. So, I guess you could say those who are able to apply the LOA, are the few “lucky” ones, and thus the LOA is not a solution for everyone.

Now let's look at the question: Is the LOA really positive?

No. It is extremely negative, actually. Let's have a look on 2 points:

1. The LOA has it's roots in the negative. What the practitioners fail to consider and examine is the roots of where there money is coming from. If you have a look at this system as it is now, all money that flows into the hands of the wealthy, or anyone for that matter, if you trace it back far enough, it comes from a host of abuses such as sweat shops and factory farms and also irregardlessly destroys the environment of which can be seen by the massive amounts of poverty worldwide, the harsh living conditions for most humans on this planet, and the systematic destruction of our environment. So, to produce all this “wealth” that serves the “few” using the LOA (or not), the rest of us and the planet are extensively abused of which is exceedingly negative. So, the LOA, is positive for those successfully using it, but negative for most of the rest of us. Sure, there positive impacts that the practitioners of the LOA have on the their immediate surroundings, such as creating good jobs, for a few in the right geographic locations, or contributing charitably to communities, but the LOA is keeping this economic system in place of which is also causing massive poverty (of which is band-aided with charities) and environmental destruction at the same time of which nullifies any “good” that the LOA may be creating. So, if you see “good” in the Law of Attraction, then that is so because you are not looking at this economic system in its entirety and only looking at you or maybe a few rungs out from you where things seem to be very good. Start looking at the whole picture and condition of this planet and you will begin to see too the extreme negative of that the LOA actually is.

2. Those using the LOA are doing so from a starting point of fear / fear for survival. So, you have this fear for survival that all people on this planet suffer from at varying degrees because that is actually what we all face in this highly competitive, winner takes all, casino style, look out for number one and try not to step in number two, economic system that we have right now. If you really are self-honest, at the root of what is driving all of us is fear for survival / fear of not having enough / fear of winding up like a bum on the street / fear of not being able to express yourself due to not having any money to buy the things that one identifies with and desires to define oneself by. Its almost as if – if one has no money, then one is equal to not even being alive in this system as it is now. So, we are all, as a consequence to this fear starting point of which is generated and created by the economic system that we have now in place, competing with each other for as much resources / money we can make just so that we can avoid realizing these fears that I just mentioned, and the LOA practitioners are the most aggressive in avoiding and suppressing these fears and are no different.

So, those who successfully practice the LOA and present themselves as confident positive light-working do-gooders, are actually driven by fear for survival and contributing extremely negative consequences to all the rest of us of which will, ironically, eventually catch up to the LOA practitioners too as this planet and world system slowly but surely completely self-destructs under the pressure of this economic system of which is kept in place and made even more destructive by the LOA and its practitioners.

So, with all that said, why am I entertaining the LOA in the first place? Well, there are 2 points within and as the LOA that I find supportive to being able to increase one's wealth in this system as it is now. Sure, this system will collapse eventually under its own weight and hopefully a new system will be established of which will be best for all and not based on any type of positive or negative energy – but that has not happened yet. Right now, there are some points of the LOA that are very supportive in increasing one's income that I believe should be examined and can be practically applied without going into energies. How so? Well, I will write about this more specifically in my next writing, but here is the gist of it:

1. First of all, as the practitioner of deconstructing my mind that I just happen to be, I commit myself to stop ALL my negative thought patterns. Negative thought patterns do impact one's behavior and thus do make it more difficult to survive in this system. This is common sense, actually. So, although, I am already committed to stopping these patterns, I am more focused on them now than ever because through learning about the LOA, I now see more clearly how these negative thought patterns have been adversely affected my income.
   
2. Stop positive thought patterns too, and turn positive energy into positive living expressions. This means, instead of going into the positive energy traits proscribed by the practitioners of the LOA, such as confidence, integrity, perseverance, discipline, focus, belief, faith, and others not mentioned here – my approach is to redefine all these words so that I can live them as positive living expressions, such as living as self-confidence, self-trust, focus, etc in every breath, here as the physical. Focusing on these specific traits will help me amalgamate into my beingness those traits that are required to be successful in this economic system. By doing so, I can assist myself to be more financially successful in this economic system as it is now. Hopefully you can see how by doing so one can embody and possess the traits necessary to do well in this system without going into positive energy.
   
3. And a third point is to not loose site of the greater objective of which is 2 fold: One, to assist myself to be able to increase my income for practical needs; and two, so that I /one can design self to be more effective in this system as it is now so that we can get more done and make more changes in this system that are best for all. This system requires money to get anything done at all. Thus, this is just a practical point that needs to be addressed as I see it.
   

Thanks for reading.

Day 389 – Stopping Negative thought patterns and re-establishing my authority.

I have noticed, recently, that I tend to automatically go into negative thought patterns, when I wake up, after having conversations with others, when waiting for the outcome of things, in relation to my partner, in relation to myself compared to others, in relation to money / making money. I will go into these patterns more specifically in future posts, but for now I am just looking at the whole point of these patterns. These patterns are negative, filled with doubt, worry, fear, future projections, pictures, scenes, imaginary futures, regrets, backchats regarding “what if” this happens or that and ultimately based upon the point of loss and who I would be and would be seen by others as if I were to realize these losses in the physical. There is also the point that these patterns give me a since of control / control of the future wherein I fear letting the patterns go / existing without the patterns due to fear of loss of control.

These patterns do not help me at all, and are like automatic – triggered by me reflecting on the past or sometimes seemingly not triggered by anything at all such as when I wake up in the morning to all these negative thought patterns just playing out in my head. These patterns put me in a slight depression and sometimes make me want to curl up in a ball and do nothing at all. I have done self forgiveness on many these patterns, but they still play out although I am now able to identify them faster and stop them, unlike before.

Also, I am starting to realize that I have not been able to completely stop them because I have not been standing as the authority of me here as the physical, when and as I have addressed them before, and instead have been abdicating my authority to my “resonant self / the substance that is self” of which has accepted these patterns as authority because I, in effect, gave my authority away and gave permission for these patterns to exist within and as me because I was not standing as authority in the first place when and as I accepted and allowed these patterns to be patterned into and as my substance self / beingness, and thus my substance self / being-ness self / resonant self is like carrying out orders that I gave it way back in the beginning when I abdicated my authority by not being here standing as authority. So, this point of authority / taking my authority back from my resonant self to my self as me here needs to be addressed as well of which will enable me to really press in and stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow negative thought patterns to dominate my mind for most of the day

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that a huge reason for my not being able to stop these negative patterns is that I gave my authority away, by not standing as my own authority, when and as I accepted and allowed these negative thought patterns to be programmed into me / my physical / my mind in the first place; and that now, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my resonant self, the self that is the substance of which I am composed of, has over-rode my authority and given authority to the actual patterns that I accepted and allowed in the first place and thus when I try to stop, I am basically not taken seriously by my physical and these patterns persist as a consequence.

I commit myself identify, break down, and stop all these negative thought patterns because I see, realize, and understand that existing within and as the energy of the mind is of absolutely no benefit to me and does nothing to protect me.

I commit myself re-establish myself as my own authority here in future writings.

Day 388 – On the Law of Attraction and moving within this system, III

OK, so why embrace the Law of Attraction? First and foremost, let if be known that this writer is on a mission to his existence within and as energy, both positive and negative and also neutral – all energy must stop. Energy based living, energetically based personalities, of which we all have and are participating in, is the root of all the problems and abuses and inequalities that we have here on this planet today. Going from positive to negative emotional and though patterns is the status-quo of the average Joe today, myself including. No one is living outside of this point as of now. We all exist as energetic constructs as characters as personalities. Some of us have very positive personalities and others are on the negative side. Nonetheless, we are all equally contributing to this world with all of its abuses as it is now, and because we are living as energy, we are inadvertently creating this very existence as it is now as it is a reflection of who we are as energy. Living as energy is self-dishonest because that is not who we really are and this is proven because we can actually stop our participation in and as energy if we should apply ourselves. We can live energy free, in other words, without characters and personalities composed of positive and negative energies directing us. And if we are all as one to embrace living without energy, without going into character, which requires energy, then this world would change for the best and abuse would stop. Now, I am not going to go into exactly why this is, but lets just assume this is the case if one does not already have this understanding.

So then, why participate in positive energy, like in the Law of Attraction, if it supports and continues the abuse in this world? Well, I have heard others say, who are also aware of the abusiveness of energy, that we should just wait for this energetic system to collapse, as it will as this is mathematically inevitable because energy always collapse back into its source as so does our systems in this existence, and then from there stand as the solution for a new way without energy directing us. And while I actually agree with, and believe that that is what will ultimately happen, there still is the point of what are we going to do in the meantime? When will this system collapse? I know that it is certain that it will, but when? Today, tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years from now? I just don't know. And until it collapses, its still running on the “old” system of which is directed by the Law of Attraction.

Yes, the Law of Attraction, is what directs the flow of money in this system. Sure, there are laws in place by the elite, that are surreptitious in nature and unknown to the common man, that actually govern this entire wold system and also affect money flow, but I am not referring to that. What I am referring to is the fact that, as of now, people are directed by their feelings and based on their feelings they make buying decisions. When people feel good, they want more and they want to give and pay for more; and when people feel bad, they want to run for the hills. That is the “law” of the land, meaning that humans are the “land” and are governed / directed by their feelings. In other words, the land / humans / the physical is governed, as of now, by energy / feelings. Just because this is abusive, as we discussed, and just because humans must change, does not mean that we can ignore this point.

 

So, within and as the system as it is now, how does one create wealth? The answer is, through the Law of Attraction. Now, there are varying degrees of the Law of Attraction; some people use it without even realizing it and others make it a study and most don’t even know it exists. And the mystical side, the Law of Attraction is a bunch of hocas pocus, admittedly, with people believing on big things just to get disappointed and taken advantage of; I understand that point. But, in a more practical sense, consider the Law of Attraction as such: The art of persuading others, through making / causing / influencing them to feel good about spending their money and doing business with you. Yes, this can definitely by achieved and is not hookas pocus. The more prepared one is, the more one embodies self confidence, focus, passion, kindness, love, faith, and all the other “attractive” qualities and characters of this system, the more one can generate wealth for self. In other words, the better you can make others feel around you, the more likely they will give you their money. It is just that simple.

Now, is it possible to utilize the Law of Attraction so that one can move in this system financially without getting lost in the energy of it? We will look at this next.

Day 387 – On the Law of Attraction and moving within this system

So, what is all this about the Law of Attraction? Is it real? Is it ethical? Does it promote the evil in this world as a consequence? Is the Law of Attraction a mind illusion? Does the Law of Attraction work for everyone?

Well, let's have a look from my experience and understanding. This is not saying that this is how it is, but rather how I see it within where I am in my self-honesty.

First of all, is the Law of Attraction real? That is difficult to answer definitively, but looking at everyone that I know of and have known personally that earns or commands a very high income, it seems to me that they are all using the Law of Attraction in some shape or form. It's the whole point of being likeable in some way. When people like you, they want to give to you what they have, their energy, within and as their emotions and feelings, and their money, because it feels good to give to someone who makes you feel good.

One way to be likeable is to just be a nice person filled with self-confidence. Another way to to be likeable is to have an extreme passion for something and do it better than everyone else. This creates a desire in others to be like you and also an attraction from others to you because everyone wants to be really good at something. Or, you can be both passionate and likable and I can assure you that most people who are embodying these characteristics do very well in this system, financially. So from that point, I would be inclined to believe that the LOA is real.

Another point to consider is does the Law of Attraction work for everyone? The answer is not really. You have to be in a place or region on the planet where money is flowing. Obviously, one cannot use the Law of Attraction to attract money to you in a place where there is no money or very little money flowing, like in the 3^rd world countries. I mean, like try telling someone who is literally starving to just “think positive” and see how that goes.

Does the Law of Attraction promote evil as a consequence? Yes. You see, the LOA is based on positive thinking, and positive thinking creates negative consequences and is also often times rooting in a negative thinking predisposition. How does it create consequences? Well, its simple, if one is thinking positive and thus attracting wealth and resources to self, where is this coming from? It's coming from someone else who is thinking negatively, of course! And how many people are in poverty compared to the super rich? Far more are in poverty, right! So, the super rich using the LOA (which just about all do claim this at varying degrees) are sucking all the wealth from the negative thinkers out there thus creating massive hardship. This is just the law of supply and demand. Just imaging if everyone used the LOA equally – where would all the money come from? The fact is, that wealth is really more of transferred from others than created out of nothing. We like to believe that we create wealth, and we do in a way, but in the physical, wealth is transferred from one to another. So, those using the LOA are masters of transferring wealth from everyone else to themselves and they do this irregardlessly of the hardship they are inflicting on others and thus they are creating a world of massive suffering as a consequence.

Is the LOA an illusion of the mind? Yes and no. The illusion comes into play when those being sold on the idea of the LOA are taught that they can just imagine big things and expect them to happen, yet are not giving any practical steps to make things happen. So, its like, people start getting all excited about what they want and start believing its just going to happen, but often times this does not work out. However, the LOA, if applied from a more practical sense, like creating goals that one can really believe in, like just earning enough to pay one's bills, and then believing this can happen and then moving self to be more positive and thus attract these things into one's life – this has been fairly well verified. To take it a stop further, if one applies the LOA in incremental steps as one expands self to believe that self can achieve and do more and more things, this seems to be a very reliable way of attracting wealth and success into one's life. Furthermore, if one begins to embody those characteristics that are “attractive” to others, such as self-confidence, belief that things will work out for the best, high energy, excitement, passion / passion for something, and an overall ingratiating and pleasing personality then one will have much greater odds of success and wealth – wouldn't you think? So, it really depends on one's approach to the LOA as to whether it is real or not.

OK, so if the LOA causes negative consequence, then why even embrace it or use it at all? This will be addressed in the next writing.

Bye!

Day 386 – SF and CSC on the Law of Attraction and moving within this system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am unlucky, when in fact I am a transmitter of postive and negative energy and am thus attracting everything into my life through my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself I have not allowed msyelf to see, realize, and understand that I get what I think about most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the law of this system is the Law of Attraction and that to rise within this system and thus be effective, for any motive whatsoever, it is required to use the Law of Attraction.

I forgive msyelf that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that statements in the bible such as “ask and you will receive”, “seek and ye shall find” and even the event where Jesus feed the masses fish, and even the event in the boat where Jesus walked on water and calmed the storm – are all showing us how to use the law of Attraction of which is the Law of this matrix / system and thus the governing authority of this system.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the point of believing is what is required to generate the energy required to attract that what one wants in this system as it is designed and set up now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore and to resist the Law of Attraction just because I can see through it and that thus I see that it promotes all the suffering in this world – yet, it is required to be used in order to rise in this system and then be effective in it and be able to move it and change it. Thus, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have rendered myself ineffective in this system, and actually ironically contribute to harming life through my ineffectiveness, because I refuse to recognize that the Law of Attraction is currently the law of the land and the key to the system. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace this system / matrix as it is now wherein the Law of Attraction is the Law of God / the Law of Money / the Law of Moving in this system and must be abided by in order to rise and thus through embracing myself as this system as the Law of Attraction, just like embracing myself as the mind of which enables me to change myself as the mind into the physical / into life, I can do the same in this system by embracing myself as this system utilizing how this system works now within and as the Law of Attraction, and then from there change this system into one that supports all life.

Day 385 – More SF on self judgments / Changing my lot in the system

From day 384

"Then after a while, it started to get old, yet, I was still young and so it was OK. Now, its like, WTF?! When am I going to get my f** shit together?!? It's been like 24 years that I have been an “adult” now, by now I should be getting it together! It's not like I have not been trying! What's wrong with me? I work hard, I have the gift to gab / get along with most people, I am attractive (enough, as in there is nothing wrong with my physical appearance that should hold me back in any way), I don't have any physical disabilities, I dress appropriate, I get up early, I am willing to work, I am intelligent (like as in being attractive – intelligent enough – as in when I compare myself to others, I don't see any thing to be concerned about), I apply myself – YET – to this day, I am not able to make enough money to cover what I need. And its really getting old.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in back chat in my mind such as “what's wrong with me? I should be making more money by now! When am I going to get my shit together?”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior to others who are making more money than I am at this age of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and project that others are judging me as a loser, as incompetent, as a fool, as inferior because I am not making enough money to survive at this age in my life, when in fact it is me that is judging myself this way based upon artificial expectations that I should be doing better than I am now and also based upon comparisons to the pictures that others present of themselves as successful in this system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inherently flawed / unable to survive in this system and that there is nothing that I can do about it to change and that this thus proven because my of lack of ability to financially support myself after 24 years of adulthood.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my pre-programmed mind design has been programmed to exist within and as poverty up until now, at least, and that within this I have neuropathways that are formed within and as my mind in a structural formation that guarantees that I will not achieve much financially, but that it is up to me to push in and reprogram / change my neuropathways tot the design and formation and structure that accommodates success and unconscious competency.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the point of unconscious incompetency within regards to earning money and creating wealth. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this unconscious incompetency is a bi-product of me upbringing, education, and downloaded personalities – but that I can change this into unconscious competency through pressing in and standing as change and changing my mind into and as the design of conscious competency and success and winning within and as this system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the point of negative energy for most of my life wherein I have the tenancy to believe the worst about myself, judge myself negatively, and then react in fear and worry towards my own personal negative self judgments and backchat. I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this has created and drawn negative energy to me and thus negative circumstances wherein I am essentially creating my own fears. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am the creator of my own personal bubble existence as within and as my postilion in the matrix as well as this existential reality as whole in every way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the negative.

I forgive myself that I have neglected to use the LOA for my own personal benefit within and as this system as it it designed now not realizing that the LOA (Law of Attraction) is actually what is required to be successful in this system and can be used as a tool for the betterment of all – yet to ignore the LOA and pretend that it is just system programming (which it is), will only leave me in my current position as financially poor and thus ineffective within this system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this system for my position within and as the matrix, yet not realizing that although I am here within and as my position by design, it is I who give permission to this in the first place through my unconscious and unaware participation within and as it and acceptance of it as me as who I am. I forgive myself that although blame creates a point feeling good about my negative position within and as the matrix, that blame solves nothing and actually prevents me from making a difference and changing and taking responsibility.

Day 384 – The power to change comes with being self aware

My financial position has been very difficult for my entire adult life. Interesting thing is that I grew up with plenty of money, just when I became an adult that privilege ended. At first, when it ended, it was normal – I was young and unproven. Then after a while, it started to get old, yet, I was still young and so it was OK. Now, its like, WTF?! When am I going to get my f** shit together?!? It's been like 24 years that I have been an “adult” now, by now I should be getting it together! It's not like I have not been trying! What's wrong with me? I work hard, I have the gift to gab / get along with most people, I am attractive (enough, as in there is nothing wrong with my physical appearance that should hold me back in any way), I don't have any physical disabilities, I dress appropriate, I get up early, I am willing to work, I am intelligent (like as in being attractive – intelligent enough – as in when I compare myself to others, I don't see any thing to be concerned about), I apply myself – YET – to this day, I am not able to make enough money to cover what I need. And its really getting old.

Also, this year in particular, has been extra difficult financially. And it seems to be grinding downward to less and less income so far this year, like being in a pressure cooker, of which is adding to the emotional strain / triggering lots of emotional energies, such as fear, victimization, worry, inferiorities, etc., that just seem to be getting overwhelming and difficult to deal with.

This must stop. I must realize a few things here: 1: Do not take my financial situation personally, its just my program / who I am programmed to be within and as this system for the benefit of the elite – however, I can change my programming but I did not ask for this programming in the first place so its nothing personal, 2: We are all equal in fact as who we really are as physical beings – our program / our mind / our mind consciousness system / our “who we are” as our personalities and our self-definitions – are all our artificial selves of which are living out and competing with each other from these starting points, as if this is real; but in fact, what is real is what is always here before, during, and after we die of which is the dirt / substance that composes our physical bodies – that is what is real because it is the only thing that can be verified to actually exist – the rest is just energy and vanishes from existence within and as our deaths, but the dust / dirt / substance remains and is what gives us life in the first place. 3: The mind is a tricky little rascal. You give it an inch and it takes a mile. In other words, I listen to that little voice in my head tell me that “I should be this or that by this age” or “see how you don't stack up to this or that person who has accomplished so much more than you” or “what's wrong with you, can't you support yourself?” or “you must be inferior since there are so many younger people way more successful than you” and then the next thing you know more types of thoughts are coming up like “you might loose everything and then who would you be? You would be a real looser then!” – and then you react in fear to all these thoughts and then more fear which turns into mind possessions and voila – you manifest your worst fears because your mind-possession has taken you out of the real world and made you incapable of accomplishing anything and also made you like a magnet for “bad” things to happen.

You see, because we live in a world of positive and negative, positive things happen and thus negative things have to also happen as a consequence / bi-product. And the elite, have this world set up so that the negative always happens to other people – people like me where I am victimizing myself with my thoughts and reacting to them in fear because through doing that I am attracting the negative consequence into my life.

So, I need to stop victimizing myself and realize that I am equal, really, and that I may have had a faulty program to begin with, one that may have been intended to relegate me to live within and as the point of poverty (the negative) just so that others can live as super rich (the positive) – but that does not reflect my true self value and true self potential. It only reflects my pre-programmed position in the matrix. But, that position that I may have been assigned to in the matrix can be changed, I can change it, but I have to learn how and reprogram myself to move like the elite in the matrix (the elite are also trapped in the matrix too, just within and as the positive point), and from there, I can not only create myself to live the point of wealth, but I can do so for the betterment of all within the point of changing the rules of the game, to be best for all, once I get to the top. Or, on a more modest level, I can change my program to adapt and amalgamate the qualities of success to the point where I can at least alleviate and mollify my financial situation. It is up to me.

I don't have to live my pre-programmed design because I am self aware. Because I am self aware, I have more power than even the elite who are not self-aware, but just living their pre-programmed design wherein they are empowered through the money they are able to generate. But as self aware, one has the power, potentially, to change one's program and thus rise in the system, and then change the system altogether – that is where one who is self-aware has even more power than the elite. So, it is time to rise for what is best for all.