Day 384 – The power to change comes with being self aware

My financial position has been very difficult for my entire adult life. Interesting thing is that I grew up with plenty of money, just when I became an adult that privilege ended. At first, when it ended, it was normal – I was young and unproven. Then after a while, it started to get old, yet, I was still young and so it was OK. Now, its like, WTF?! When am I going to get my f** shit together?!? It's been like 24 years that I have been an “adult” now, by now I should be getting it together! It's not like I have not been trying! What's wrong with me? I work hard, I have the gift to gab / get along with most people, I am attractive (enough, as in there is nothing wrong with my physical appearance that should hold me back in any way), I don't have any physical disabilities, I dress appropriate, I get up early, I am willing to work, I am intelligent (like as in being attractive – intelligent enough – as in when I compare myself to others, I don't see any thing to be concerned about), I apply myself – YET – to this day, I am not able to make enough money to cover what I need. And its really getting old.

Also, this year in particular, has been extra difficult financially. And it seems to be grinding downward to less and less income so far this year, like being in a pressure cooker, of which is adding to the emotional strain / triggering lots of emotional energies, such as fear, victimization, worry, inferiorities, etc., that just seem to be getting overwhelming and difficult to deal with.

This must stop. I must realize a few things here: 1: Do not take my financial situation personally, its just my program / who I am programmed to be within and as this system for the benefit of the elite – however, I can change my programming but I did not ask for this programming in the first place so its nothing personal, 2: We are all equal in fact as who we really are as physical beings – our program / our mind / our mind consciousness system / our “who we are” as our personalities and our self-definitions – are all our artificial selves of which are living out and competing with each other from these starting points, as if this is real; but in fact, what is real is what is always here before, during, and after we die of which is the dirt / substance that composes our physical bodies – that is what is real because it is the only thing that can be verified to actually exist – the rest is just energy and vanishes from existence within and as our deaths, but the dust / dirt / substance remains and is what gives us life in the first place. 3: The mind is a tricky little rascal. You give it an inch and it takes a mile. In other words, I listen to that little voice in my head tell me that “I should be this or that by this age” or “see how you don't stack up to this or that person who has accomplished so much more than you” or “what's wrong with you, can't you support yourself?” or “you must be inferior since there are so many younger people way more successful than you” and then the next thing you know more types of thoughts are coming up like “you might loose everything and then who would you be? You would be a real looser then!” – and then you react in fear to all these thoughts and then more fear which turns into mind possessions and voila – you manifest your worst fears because your mind-possession has taken you out of the real world and made you incapable of accomplishing anything and also made you like a magnet for “bad” things to happen.

You see, because we live in a world of positive and negative, positive things happen and thus negative things have to also happen as a consequence / bi-product. And the elite, have this world set up so that the negative always happens to other people – people like me where I am victimizing myself with my thoughts and reacting to them in fear because through doing that I am attracting the negative consequence into my life.

So, I need to stop victimizing myself and realize that I am equal, really, and that I may have had a faulty program to begin with, one that may have been intended to relegate me to live within and as the point of poverty (the negative) just so that others can live as super rich (the positive) – but that does not reflect my true self value and true self potential. It only reflects my pre-programmed position in the matrix. But, that position that I may have been assigned to in the matrix can be changed, I can change it, but I have to learn how and reprogram myself to move like the elite in the matrix (the elite are also trapped in the matrix too, just within and as the positive point), and from there, I can not only create myself to live the point of wealth, but I can do so for the betterment of all within the point of changing the rules of the game, to be best for all, once I get to the top. Or, on a more modest level, I can change my program to adapt and amalgamate the qualities of success to the point where I can at least alleviate and mollify my financial situation. It is up to me.

I don't have to live my pre-programmed design because I am self aware. Because I am self aware, I have more power than even the elite who are not self-aware, but just living their pre-programmed design wherein they are empowered through the money they are able to generate. But as self aware, one has the power, potentially, to change one's program and thus rise in the system, and then change the system altogether – that is where one who is self-aware has even more power than the elite. So, it is time to rise for what is best for all.