JTL Day 83 – Hiding from myself

I have been going in and out of an incessant worry over whether or not I am capable of writing myself to freedom. As if, I cannot do it and can never really grasp how to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the points that come up into my awareness, as if I am picking fruit – looking for the 'best' one, and then oftentimes I don't pick any because none qualify. And within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that everything of the mind is on the table – that no point is 'too small or irrelevant or insignificant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over-complicate my walk by believing that I have to have everything 'down-pat' before I can really effectively write myself to freedom.

And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not able to open up points to see them completely for what they are so that I can effectively write them out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse myself about points as they come up by 'over thinking' them to the extent that I start to become unsure of how to write out these points and then within that I give up.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that at this stage of my walk, I am not going to see all the mufti-dimensions of points, but as time goes on, with consistent application, I will begin to see all the multi-dimensions of points because of my expanded self-awareness.

And within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to accept and embrace myself for who I am now, as one and equal with and as a mind-consciousness system placement; so that from within that point, of being equal with and as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, I can direct myself to re-create myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I go into resistance to blogging and vlogging because of self-doubt that I have the ability to see all the multi-dimensions of points, that this self-doubt is really me resisting accepting myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – and therefore within this I am not embracing myself for and as who I am now in this very moment, which is causing more conflict within me and forcing me more into the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when a point comes up into my awareness, then go into over-analyzing the point within the knowledge and information that I have attained. But by doing so, the point oftentimes becomes even more confusing and blurry and intimidating as I begin to feel that I do not really understand the point any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'over think points' to a point where I become actually confused about them and then begin questioning 'is this a real point? Or how do I even write this point out?”

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that 'over-thinking' points is a point to write about in and of itself, as this activity is of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that literally everything is on the 'table' – there are no points too small, or to insignificant. I am here to stop my existence as a mind in its totality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'over-think' points, instead of just remaining here in the breath and taking note of points as they come into my awareness so that I can later write them out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'maybe I don't really understand the material'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of writing and sharing myself because of my belief that I may not truly understanding the material and that someone else may judge me to be a 'hopeless cause'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional reaction of fear to the thought that others may see that I am lost and unable to understand that material and unable to write out points effectively.

And withing this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing support from others on my walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that these fears are completely self-created, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the point of worrying incessantly about what others think about my writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry because of my participation in the thought that 'if I do not worry, that I may not be able to ensure the best possible outcome'. And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to try to control my reality through worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the measure of how effective I am at my blogging and vlogging is really up to me and how supportive it is in assisting me to stop my mind and my existence as a mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that even un-effective blogging and vlogging can be supportive from the point that by reviewing it, I can see where I am in my walk and where I need to make adjustments – so within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the simple act of blogging and vlogging is in itself supportive so long as my intention is to align myself within oneness and equality and stop my mind, because over time, I will expand myself through my participation so that I can really begin to see what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to 'hide' within not making any blogs and vlogs so no one can see how lost I really am and so that I do not have to face myself as 'stuck' in my mind.

When and as I see myself over-thinking points and then becoming confused and intimidated about them I stop and take an in-breath and out-breath. I see, realize, and understand that what I need to do is 'slow' down and pull myself out of my mind because I am over complicating things and simply just need to remain 'here' within and as the breath.

When and as I see myself going into self-judgments that my writing is not effective and then fears and worry that others may see this, I stop and I breath because I realize that within doing this, I am not truly embracing myself as who I am now in this very moment; and I realize that my effectiveness will grow as I expand myself through my blogging and vlogging, from where I am now.

When and as I see myself going into incessant worry over what others think of my writing or losing support from others because they have 'giving up on me', I stop and I breathe because I see, realize, and understand that this fear and worry is completely self-created and achieves nothing. I see, realize, and understand that consistent self application is the only solution, and this is a simple solution - Just get up and do it.

And thus,

I commit myself to embracing myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be as one and equal with and as a mind-consciousness system placement, and from there directing myself to use the tools of self-will, self-honesty, self-forgiveness, self-breathing, blogging, and vlogging to over-time re-create myself as life from the physical.

I commit myself to stop going into the emotional reactions of fear and worry over the quality of my writing by instead breathing, and even breathing deeply if necessary until the worry and fear stops.

I commit myself to stopping the over-thinking of points as they come up and instead breathing.

I commit myself to consistent application so that over-time I can expand myself to be able to see all the multi-dimensions of points.

I commit myself to taking self-responsibility to stop my mind as best I can from where I am now.

 

JTL Day 82 – Embracing self as the mind

I have just finished watching two great videos: “The Solution of Equality” by Sunnette, and “Embrace Yourself” by Bernard Poolman.

As a way to internalize these videos within and as my walk, I have the following self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand in equality with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to become a mind-consciousness system composed of thoughts, feeling, emotions, perceptions, ideas, memories and much more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be this limited mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself from the perspective of the mind in itself existing separate from who I am because the mind in itself is existing separate from me because the essence of myself is generating this mind-consciousness system placement within and as the human physical body; thus I am in separation, in the starting point of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that because my starting point of me generating my mind-consciousness system placement in separation of myself, that I am designing and manifesting separation in this world to the ultimate extent where we murder, abuse, and rape each other when that very being is me from the perspective of equality and oneness as all as one as equal of life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to ask the question 'how did I/we get 'here' to this point as I/we exist now'.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that because I have separated myself from myself within this mind-consciousness system design within myself that from there all other expressions of separation within and of the unified consciousness field sprout.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and stand equal to the mind-consciousness system as me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to what I/we have accepted and allowed to exists within this world.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if I stand separate from the mind-consciousness system and what exists within and as this world, I am thus creating it through polarity friction of resistance – that which resists persists.

Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that If I stand separate from the mind and what exists within and as this world as myself, I am creating a resistance, in that resistance I am creating a polarity conflict, in that polarity conflict I actually manifest that which I resist and stand separate from.

Thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the first application and manifestation of equality as myself is to stand one and equal within me as my mind-consciousness system placement because at this very moment I am that.

And within that, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that so long as I am not standing separate from it, I am thus standing equal to it.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that what happens when I stand as equal to my mind-consciousness system placement, is that, in that equality standing and statement within and of me as the mind-consciousness system I am able to direct it as me. And this is where the amalgamation of me becomes the equality of myself as who I am of life because in that realization 'at this moment I am a mind-consciousness system' 'I stand equal as it' then from there within and as the mind-consciousness system placement I direct myself in the moment in every breath and I ask myself 'what will I accept and allow within me and my world and what will I not accept myself within and as my world'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the realization that at the moment what I am is the mind-consciousness system placement, as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that it is from this starting point of equality of me as the mind-consciousness system that I am in the process of birthing myself as life from the physical - and this is where self-honesty self-will, and self breathing steps in as an expression of me because it is from here using these tools that I birth myself as life from the physical – this is how life is born, I/we are in the process of birthing it as ourselves as who I/we are in every moment of every breath in application.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop the separation of myself by standing equal as my mind-consciousness system and realize that it is from this staring point that I am using the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, corrective application, self-breathing, and self-will to assist and support myself to birth myself as life from the physical.

Embrace

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully embrace myself as a mind-consciousness system as what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and in not doing so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take take my directive power away in forming a resistance to what it is that I am as a limited mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that before I can fix myself, sort myself out, heal myself, complete myself, and fulfill myself that I have to first embrace me as who I am at this stage within holding me 'in my own arms', within accepting me completely, within accepting me for what I have become.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to embrace myself for what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, completely and unconditionally, and then forgiving myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and then taking a stand for what I will accept and allow within myself. And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within doing this I can start my process of recreation so that I can be free from everything that I have accepted as my limitation and the judgments that I have about others and about me so that I can take a stand for what is relevant as life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to 'take the fetus position' and hold myself and start with being born into this world again with all its mistakes and fuck-ups, and accept it and become responsible for everything that is here so that then I can change (it).

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the key to change is taking self-responsibility for all that is here both within myself and in this world by embracing myself and this world as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

When and as I see myself 'hiding' from myself within blame and judgment and projection and fearing the facing of myself, I stop and I breathe because I see, realize, and understand that this fear of facing myself and hiding from myself is due to the fact that I have not accepted and embrace myself as the mind-consciousness system and all of its fuck-ups and therefore I am resisting what is here and myself as what I have become which is taking my power away to make changes and do anything about it.

And thus,

I commit myself to embracing myself as the mind-consciousness system that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become thereby giving myself the power to direct myself as the mind-consciousness system and then change myself and birth myself as life from the physical.

I commit myself to, from within standing as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, deciding what it is that I will accept and allow to exist within and as me and this world from the starting point of all as one as equal in equality and oneness, and then taking self-responsibility to change my self to what is best for all using the tools of self-will, self-honesty, self-forgiveness, writing, and self-breathing to walk step-by-step, from where I am now, to my birthing myself as life from the physical, and stopping my mind.

JTL Day 81 – Judging and blaming others ignorance for the 'woes' of the world

I fall into conversations with others and then also back-chats where I am 'pissed-off' and aggravated because of others 'willful ignorance' towards the world and reality and how things actually exist. I try to prove myself and invariably only fail due to the nature of the mind/ego and the way in which people will push against what you say when you come against them. Then afterward I will follow through with imaginings and back-chats where I prove my point and show them/others just how ignorant of the world and reality they really are. I hold an anger towards them as I blame them and more specifically their 'willful ignorance' for the condition of this world as it exists now in a progressive self-destruction.

But why do I blame and then get so upset at others for their 'willful ignorance'? Where have I been willfully ignorant? Have I not been willfully ignorant towards myself in taking full self-responsibility to find out just exactly how I am and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind? Have I taken the time to truly consider how the consequence of my 'willful ignorance' towards myself resulted in my self-creation as me as mind-consciousness system that requires energy that is derived from the resourcing of the physical thereby destroying and breaking down the physical, equal and one with the way the world works in this existential reality now? Am I not doing the same thing that I am blaming others for in my 'willful ignorance' and even 'laziness' to 'lift a finger' or spend the time to get to know myself and change myself to that what is best for all?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others 'willful ignorance' for the condition of this world instead of looking within myself as to where I am also being willfully ignorant and also thereby equally responsible for the conditions of this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself 'proving myself right' to the others that I have judged as 'willfully ignorant' in separation of myself. And within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by participating in these judgments and pictures and imaginations that I am creating, manifesting, and generating an energetic experience that requires energy which is resourced from the physical, equal and one to the very destruction of this planet through the current system that exists as a reflection of what it is that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility in stopping my mind which would be the way in which one really, in-fact, takes action to stop this current reality from the path of self-destruction that it is on. And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue a path of self-destruction where I am destroying and diminishing myself every moment that I miss a breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold and express an anger towards others that I have judged to be 'willful ignorant' of this world and this existential reality as a point of superiority over them where I see myself as better than them in a way because of what I know and the fact that I have at least taken the time to get to know what I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and hold onto these emotions of anger and frustration towards others whom I have judged to be 'willfully ignorant of this existential reality' as a point of superiority within the point that I fear aligning myself as equal to these beings in that in doing so, I may loose my position as the 'one who knows how things work' or my position as the 'one who knows how things work' may be diminished or irrelevant and for nothing.

And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my maintaining a position of superiority from the point that this is a form of punishment towards others who have not taken the time to get to know how this existential reality really works within the justification that those who remain willfully ignorant are doing so of their 'own' accord and therefore it is their choice to be either less than or equal to me as one who knows.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to equalize myself with these beings in that they are in-fact a reflection of me and what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and are 'here' to show me the consequences of my own refusal to take self-responsibility to learn and map-out the nature of my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold within myself a negative energetic experience towards writing and self-forgiveness, and then further suppress myself by going into desires to pursue experiences that I have given a positive charge too, that feel good, and are what I have defined as 'fun' – And within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that this is equal and one to those that do not want to take the time to look at this world and what it has become for what it is, in-fact, because of 'their' resistance towards going into the 'negative' energetic experience in doing so, and choosing to pursue the 'positive', instead.

And thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this anger and blame that I hold towards others is really pointed at myself to not have to deal with and take self-responsibility for what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

When and as I see myself going judging others as lazy or indifferent and blaming them for the 'woes' of this world, and then going into confrontations with them personally or imagining these things within my mind, I stop and I breathe, because I see, realize, and understand that I too am doing the same thing within my own laziness and resistance to looking within myself as to what it is that I have allowed myself to be and become. I also see, realize, and understand that judging and blaming others is a form of energy addiction where I am getting a rush off the energetic experience of participating in the feelings and emotions associated with the 'conflict' and the holding of judgments of others; and thereby I am equally to blame for the 'woes' of this world by separating myself into and as the emotional and energetic experience of the mind.

And thus,

I commit myself to stopping my judgments, blame, imaginings of myself proving others wrong, anger and frustration of others lack of understanding of how this world works by taking a breath and grounding myself so as to stop my mind when and as these come up, and if this is not enough, then speaking self-forgiveness in that moment and then writing about it.

I commit myself to no longer blaming others for the conditions of this world, but to rather look within myself for the reasons and answers as to why this world exists the way it does.

JTL Day 80 – Taking self-responsibility by applying what I know

As Quoted from Heaven's Journey to Life Blog, 'Taming the Wild Nature of the Mind (part two) Day 468:

“This is the same with our relationship to the Mind: if we only hold the knowledge, information, technique and tools within ourselves in relationship to the Mind, but still accept/allow ourselves in the Mind to ‘run wild’ – no change will ever manifest within who we are / in the Mind and so also not in our life/living experience/application.”

Note:

This is an area that I have been 'guilty off'. As a matter of fact, this is basically the impetus behind my writing the 'My Destonian Personality Blog'

From Heaven's Blog:

“Therefore, in process – one always start with the basics to analyze/assess your relationship to thoughts, emotions/feelings, backchat, imagination. To be able to ‘see yourself for who/how/what you are’ – you need to self-honestly know how quickly you tend to follow thoughts, what particular thoughts you tend to follow more easily than others, how/why/when/where you give into emotions/feelings and what particular emotions/feelings you tend to give into more easily than others. The same then goes for imaginations / backchats. One need to have a ‘map’ of who you are in/as the Mind to from there start with the basics to be able to establish a relationship with yourself, the Mind and your life/living experience/application. From here, the process starts with applying the knowledge, information, technique and tools step by step, day by day – working with and changing what you’re able to at this stage based on your current, self honest, relationship to yourself and the Mind and your life/living experience/application.”

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build and amass only knowledge, information, technique, and tools within myself in relationship to my mind, but still accept and allow myself to 'run wild' in my mind which has the result of no change within who I am, in the mind, and also who I am in my life, living, experience, and application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop feelings of guilt to when I see myself go into the mind and accept and allow myself to 'run wild' within and as my mind, as a way of 'making-up' for accepting and allowing myself to run-wild in my mind by following thoughts, feelings, emotions, and reactions as they come up, instead of remaining 'here' and standing and APPLYING the knowledge, information, technique, and tools that I have acquired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility in the moment that I see myself going into the mind and wanting to act out, by stopping and breathing and thereby grounding myself and then applying the tools of writing and speaking self-forgiveness so as to further assist me in stopping my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to apply the tool of self-forgiveness effectively within not speaking or thinking self-forgiveness in the moment that I see myself going into or desiring to go into my mind as a means to stopping my mind and grounding myself, bringing myself 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibility to myself by not taking the time, daily, to analyze and assess my relationship to thoughts, emotions, feelings, backchat, reactions and imaginations. So that I am more able to 'see myself' for who/how/what I am and have become within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibility to myself to not explore in self-honesty how quickly I tend to follow thoughts, what particular thoughts I tend to follow more easily than others, how/why/when/where I give into emotions and feelings and what particular emotions and feelings I tend to give into more easily than others.

And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the excuse and experience of 'not having anything to write about' of which is only possible by my self-neglect in not applying the knowledge and information and the tools that have amassed within my mind, so as to assist me identifying clearly what it is the I accept and allow within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use the tools, knowledge, and information that I have acquired to explore, clarify, and identify imaginations and backchats that I accept and allow, so as to create a 'map' of who I am in and as the mind, to from there, start with 'basics' to be able to establish a relationship with myself, the mind, and my living experience and application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the process of step-by-step and day-by-day applying the knowledge, information, technique, and the tools that I have acquired thereby working with and changing what I am able to at my current self-honesty, relationship with my mind and my life/living experience/application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that my relationship with my mind and my living experience and ability within self-application is something that changes and improves over time so long as I apply myself day-by-day, breath-by-breath, consistently. And within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play games with myself by believing that I have nothing to write about and nothing to explore because I cannot 'think' of anything when in reality this is so because I am not applying myself effectively.

When and as I see myself going into thoughts that 'I do not have anything to write about' I stop and I breathe and bring myself 'here' because I see, realize, and understand that this is only so because I have not been effectively applying the knowledge, information, and tools that I have already acquired so as to assist me within the mapping out of my mind so that I can better see my relationship to my mind, see my acceptances and allowances, and what it is that I have allowed myself to be and become as a mind-consciousness system.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to allow me as my mind to 'run wild' within and as my mind, I stop and I breathe and ground myself within and as the breath – and I bring myself 'here' and apply the tools that I have acquired so that I can see and map out what it is that I am doing within and as my mind so that I can assist myself in further self-application to finally stop my existence as a mind-consciousness system.

And thus,

I commit myself to applying the vast knowledge base and tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, corrective application, and breathing on a daily basis.

I commit myself to stopping my mind by applying the tools that I have acquired in the moment and also later as I sit down to write, instead of letting my mind 'run wild' and making excuses and justifications/rationalizations as to why I allowed this.

I commit myself to using the tools that I have acquired to map out my mind and my relationship to it so that I can assist myself in finding and writing in high detail the points that I see and identify so that I can truly stop my existence as as the mind.

I commit myself to taking self-responsibility by applying myself daily using and applying the tools that I have already acquired to create myself as life, of the physical, and stop the mind and my existence as a system that runs on energy which has adverse consequences for all.

JTL Day 79 – Impulsive and Distracted

I notice that when working or writing assignments that I will have a fleeting thought, and I mean fleeting like it just is barely there, that draws my attention away to something else and the next thing I know I am off doing something else for a period of time, sometimes just minutes and sometimes for hours.

Like I will be writing an assignment and then pow: I thought comes up “I need to check facebook”, then I go online and 2 hours later I am like 'fuck, what was I thinking”

These fleeting thoughts are not even that 'tempting', I have the ability to stop myself, but still do not most of the time. So, within this I see that I am not exercising self-discipline to stop following these thoughts and stay on track with what I am committed myself to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow 'fleeting thoughts' as they come up instead of remaining here and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow fleeting thoughts that 'I need to play chess, or piano, or check updates, or go on facebook on line', instead of breathing through these thoughts and remaining here and focused on my task at hand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself sabotage myself and my self-commitments by following fleeting thoughts that lead me away from what it is that I have committed myself to do.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to ignore the realization that these 'fleeting' thoughts when and as the come up are intended to do just that – keep me in the mind, within 'exciting energetic experiences', and unable to discipline myself to stay on task.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strengthen the control that my mind consciousness system has over me by following fleeting thoughts, instead of standing and stopping those thoughts through breathing.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that these thoughts come up because of my participation in the idea that what it is that I am doing is not 'exciting or fulfilling' and therefore these thoughts are generated as a means for me to 'escape' what it is that I am currently doing based on the way that I have defined my experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the impulses to do something, anything that comes up that I have defined as more fun, when I know deep down that I am creating my experience towards my current tasks and towards the impulses that I have towards other things.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that it is me who creates the experience that work and assignments are not fun and boring and that jumping on the internet or whatever is more fun – And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that certain tasks are inherently more fun or pleasurable than others.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my experiences towards tasks and things that I participate in are complete created by me, based on the way that I have defined myself in relationship to what it is that I do based on the energetic experience that I have towards these things. And within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry on with following impulses and fleeting thoughts so that I can use this as an excuse to 'get away' from my responsibilities and self-commitments when all along all I need to do is to redefine and align my relationship with my self-commitments and responsibilities within and equal and one relationship to what is here in this physical reality, and what it is that I need to get done, without any emotional attachments or reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally to doing things that I have defined and created an experience of boredom towards.

When and as I see fleeting thoughts and impulses coming up, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate and follow these fleeting thoughts and impulses because I see, realize, and understand that they are of the mind and are intended to lure me into and experience of energy that I have defined as fun and exciting as a way to keep me from remaining here and in the breath, which I have defined as boring and unexciting.

And thus

I commit myself to stopping my participation in all fleeting thoughts and impulses through breathing and remaining here within and as the physical.

I commit myself to redefining my experience towards things that I do, so that I can create an experience towards tasks that is equal and one in every breath no matter what it is that I do.

I commit myself to equalizing my experience towards writing and working so as to not go into any emotional reactions and stay 100% focused and effective all the way through to completion.

JTL Day 78 – Comparing, and despairing, myself to my partner in regards to process

Recently a certain decision was made pertaining to DIP to me, and then to my partner who is also in DIP. I was expecting the decision to be the same because I view my partner to be participating about the same as me. It turned out that the decision, although similar, is not the same. As as result of this, I have been thinking and stressing that perhaps there is something wrong with me or perhaps I really do not know what I am doing within walking my process and that maybe this is a way for me to get the 'hint as there has got to be a reason' as to why the decision was not the same for both of us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be consumed with worry over this decision not being, or appearing to be, equal for both of us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional experience of fear to the thought that 'because this decision is not equal for both of us, that there has go to be a reason'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the apparent difference in this decision personally, as if there is something wrong with me and that this something wrong is something that I cannot change or do anything about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my process and measure my process with my partner's process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my partner is 'better' at her process than I am. And within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete or go into a form of competition with my partner regarding our process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought 'that this decision is proof that my partner is 'better' at process than I am'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional reaction of fear to the thought that 'this decision is proof that my that my partner is 'better' at process.'

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to approach my process within the point of competition; and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that where I am in process is a reflection of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as the mind, and that it is up to me to move into an 'equal and one living' from where I am specifically within and as the mind, and this is different for everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speculate incessantly as to why it is this decision was not exactly the same for both of us, as if I could eventually, psychically, see why it is this decision came to be what it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to control the future by speculating about this decision incessantly as if I can figure out 'why' through speculation and as if this will actually change anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this fear that my partner is 'better or more capable' at her process than me is revealing to me that I have not been taking self-responsibility to do everything that I can to walk my process effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that it is up to me as to how effective I walk my process within the point that even if there are areas of process that are difficult for me at first, to react to this in fear and intimidation and to participate in thoughts like 'I cannot do it, I am not capable' and 'this is proof that I am not capable' are all thoughts and reactions of the mind, of me defining and then reacting to my energetic experience towards process, in separation from everything that is here, as an individualized mind-consciousness system, and not of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility in walking my process to the fullest extent of what I have the time to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the idea that 'there is nothing that I can do to effectively walk my process more effectively because I am just not capable of doing so and understanding the material to the extent that is necessary; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional feeling of “helpless” helplessness towards these thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am helpless to change my situation and walk my process more effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within reacting to this decision in a form of helplessness because I fear that there is nothing that I can do to walk my process effectively, go into the emotion of despair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional experience of fear towards the potential that my partner will be walking her process while I am not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional experience of fear to the idea that my partner will realize herself as life, while I remain enslaved to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of my partner's process and her writings because I have participated in the thought that 'her writings must be better than mine because of this decision.'

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all these reactions, fears, and ideas towards my partner and myself, because of this decision being apparently different, are all created within my mind as a result of my participation in energy and energetic experiences of these thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and are not a real equal and one living, of life. And within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all I need to do is to stop these reactions, emotions, thoughts, and fears, and breathe and then direct myself to do what is practical in walking my process effectively.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my reactions and fears towards this decision are showing me that I know that I have not been walking my process effectively within the amount that I participate because I see, realize, and understand that if I had been, I would have the self-assurance that I am doing everything that I can and that I can simply make adjustments to my walk when and if necessary to further align myself into a real 'equal and one living'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel resentment towards my partner because of my participation in the idea that 'I am the one who led her to the Destine material and that if she winds up walking her process and realizing herself as life, while I do not, that would really suck”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional experience of resentment toward my partner when she gets attention from Desteni because of my participation in the thought that 'she would not be here if it were not for me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my partner as me, as a reflection of me, by reacting towards her.

When and as I see myself going into reactions of fear, intimidation, despair, helplessness, and jealousy, and incessant worry, towards and about my process and my partners process, and having thoughts that 'I am not able and capable of walking my process effectively, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in such emotions and fears and thoughts because I see, realize, and understand that by doing so I am separating myself into my own mind and not living here within the breath as the physical, as all as one as equal, as me, and thus these thoughts and emotions are not a real assessment of who I really am.

Thus I commit myself to, when and as I see myself going into these reactions and fears towards my process and my partner regarding my process, stopping and breathing and not participating by remaining here, in the breath, breathing.

I commit myself to also walk solutions to my process into a living reality, breath-by-breath when and as I see deficiencies or areas in my process that I am not walking or initially able to do effectively.

JTL Day 77 – Those Ignorant Bastards

I find I get really annoyed with people when I get into discussions about religion, or beliefs, or politics, or the economy. That everyone is so misinformed as to how things really work annoys me within the point that their perspectives are so limited because invariably everyone is thinking from the basis of the programming they received from 'the system' as it exists now, without any awareness that they are totally deceived about how things really work and thus supporting a system of inequality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed with people because of their lack of understanding of how the system really works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is up to me to change other's perspectives as to how the system really works in one conversation and through debate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I have to prove to others that I am right. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within that go to great lengths to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'superior' to others because I have knowledge that they do not have and refuse to examine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look down on others because of their limited and per-programmed belief systems that they have not yet given up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed with people who talk about love and light and god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as 'ignorant' and 'lazy' for not taking the time to explore and really contemplate how reality really works. And within that, I forgive myself that I have projected myself onto others within having this judgment towards them, instead of looking at myself in where it is that I have been 'lazy' and 'ignorant'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others as me by judging others and reacting towards others.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see others as my teachers, showing me what it is that I have accepted and allowed within myself, especially when I react towards others because that is showing me that what they represent, I do not want to face, in someway, within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior towards others because I have 'taken the time to investigate reality and see it for what it is'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and need to 'prove' myself towards others who do not see things the way that I do when I know that I am correct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought and idea that I need to 'set people straight' and show them just how limited and 'silly' their belief systems are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the need to prove myself 'right' towards others in the areas of politics and religion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the fucked-ness of this world because of their holding onto dead, and ridiculous belief systems, and then within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior towards them.

When and as I see myself going into judgments that others, who hold onto the limitations of dead belief systems and ignorance in the realm of religion, politics, and economics, are limited and ignorant and then start feeling superior to them and feel the need to prove myself right, and 'correct them, I stop and I breathe because I see, realize, and understand that all of this is just mental drama that is occurring within my mind and is completely created through my participation in the mind and is an energetic experience of the mind. I see, and realize, that I am one and equal with these beings and that they are showing me and reflecting to me what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and that when I react towards them and blame them, that shows me that I am suppressing the same or a similar point within myself.

And thus:

I commit myself to taking a deep breath when the topics of politics, religion, and economics comes up and instead accepting and allowing others to have their opinions without any reactions from me.

I commit myself to remaining 'here' within and as the physical, in the breath, so that I can see and hear others, as me, and suggest points to consider for them so that they may be able to see one day what is really going on.

I commit myself to stopping my participation in feeling superior towards others who hold onto belief systems and faulty understandings of economics, the equal money system, and politics by remaining here and breathing and equalizing myself with and as others as who I am.

JTL Day 76 – My 'Destonian' Personality

Throughout my day there are a myriad of points that come to my attention to address within self-honesty within the re-alignment of self to 'equal and one' living, within living the realization of all as one as equal, as self, within stopping my mind.

Yet, I do not explore or write about these points because I already 'know better' or I do not think these points are worthy of the pen, or worthy of my time, because I go into the idea that I will just make the adjustment or have made the adjustment, in some cases.

So, as a result, I have formed a kind of Destonian Personality wherein, I behave and act in a certain way based on my understanding of the Destonian message, yet I have not actually taken the time to write out self-forgiveness on the points that I feel I 'understand', and therefore have not really made the change within transcending these points/the mind through self-honesty and self-forgiveness, but rather am merely suppressing the points and myself, because 'I know better.'

For instance, if I react to someone, I will go into a point of slowing down and breathing as to stop the reaction, if I can; and even if I still react, because I 'know better' I rationalize that I do not need to write this reaction out because I have already identified it for what it is, as a form of recognition based on the knowledge and information that I have gained from viewing and reading the Destine material.

The problem with this, is that I am not transcending these points, but rather suppressing them. Even if I am able to stop my participation in things of the mind, I am only doing so in a form of suppression. I am not really stopping, because stopping requires detailed self-honesty and self-forgiveness that can only be achieved through writing in high specificity and detail, in most cases.

So, I have created and formed a resistance to process and stopping my mind by attaining a knowledge base of what it is and means to live in and as equality and oneness, wherein I act within this knowledge-base, but have not actually, in most cases, worked with myself by writing extensively in self-honesty with self-forgiveness so as to truly stop the mind and transcend the mind, thereby living 'free' of any knowledge-base. This resistance to process comes in the form of 'yes, I know that', ' and therefore, I don’t need to write about that'. I will just stop participating, or this or that is not significant enough to write about'.

One example is my former belief in a god. I no longer believe in god. This wasn't too hard to give up, actually, as deep down I really never believed in a god anyway. The Desteni material helped me rid myself of this nonsense once and for all; yet I have never written self-forgiveness on my belief in a god because I believe that I do not need to do so because I have already 'made the change' So, instead what I have done, is suppressed this point within myself by never addressing what and why I believed in a god and how I came to be a being who believed in a god in the first place.

So, there are many things that I have not explored or written about because I have already 'made the adjustment' based on knowledge that I have acquired, or I have judged and deemed to be 'too small and insignificant to write about'. And then, I make the 'adjustment to my behavior based on this and this is what I call my 'Destonian Personality'.

Another thing that I have observed is that I may be able to identify when I go into a reaction or judgment, etc, and then say to myself that 'I need to stop', and then stop, but then it happens again. This is so, because I have not taken these points further with self-honesty and self-forgiveness, and instead, just suppressed these thoughts and behavior as much as possible; but the problem with this is that these thoughts/reactions/judgments, etc., always arise another day in some form or another.

In other words, my 'Destonian personality' is allowing me to make the adjustments to my beliefs and behaviors based on knowledge and information, which is actually of an energetic nature, a personality of the mind, and not a real equal and one living, which can only be achieved through writing self-honesty and self-forgiveness and walking and breathing self-correction into a living expression of self – no matter how small the point or if I have 'apparently' already made the 'change'.

So, within this, I see the same points reemerging within myself as time goes on, yet I am stifled within myself to do anything about them because of the resistance that I have formed to change by forming a personality that fits the knowledge and information picture that I have attained from the Desteni material as a means to not face what it is indeed that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to merely suppress points within myself instead of writing about them in self-honesty, doing self-forgiveness, and then corrective application so as to 'truly' transcend points of the mind once and for all. And within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all that I am doing is forming a resistance to the process of stopping my mind and my existence as a mind in a real actualized way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'certain points are too small and too irrelevant to write about'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought and 'idea' that 'because I already understand something of the mind, in the context of oneness and equality and equal and one living, that I do not need to write about it, that instead I will just stop my participation in it, which in most cases is just a form of suppression of these points and not a true transcendence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that so long as I am seeing myself participate in the same points over and over again, that I am not transcending them and not stopping them and therefore need to write about them so as to truly stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to form a resistance towards self-honesty and self-forgiveness within the point that I will 'just make an adjustment in my 'behavior/personality' to fulfill a picture image of what it is that I should be like as a Destonian, or as one who understands the message of Desteni, instead of really facing myself within the point of self-honest writing and self-forgiveness and corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge points as too small to write about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not participate in an effective process of consistently writing about points as they come up within my awareness because I believe that I already know or understand these points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to effectively 'disqualify' most things of mind that come to my awareness because I judge them to be too 'insignificant' or because I already know or have a basic understanding that these points are of the mind, or believe that I have already stopped them when merely I have made an adjustment to my personality, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form as resistance to my process of stopping the mind by being very picky about what it is that I write about to the extent that I 'disqualify' just about everything that comes up just.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the fact that I see, points in the first place is because of my understanding of the mind and that I am not my mind which is the base that is required to walk this process in the first place – because if one does not understand that one is not the mind, then one cannot possibly walk a process of stopping one's existence as the mind. And within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself that I am stopping my and my existence as a mind-consciousness system simple by making 'adjustments' based on this knowledge and information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a kind-of religious stance within the knowledge and information that I have acquired through the Desteni material, in that I have merely adjusted my beliefs and behaviors, just like I would do in a religion, which also is based on the acquiring of knowledge and information and then following personality adjustment based on that knowledge and information,

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I judge religious people as being foolish or silly, perhaps that is because I am doing the same thing with the religion that I have formed with the Desteni information and knowledge base.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that just like people who are religious change their personalities slightly to conform within their specific religion, that I too have changed my personality slightly to conform within the knowledge and information of the Desteni material.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach the Desteni message within the point of acquiring knowledge and information, and that within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down, and breathe, so that I use this knowledge and information to assist me to see myself and work with myself, within self-honesty and self-forgiveness, to truly transcend my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the longer that I walk this path of making 'adjustments' to my 'personality' to conform within knowledge and information, that the more easy it will be and become to continue on in this way, and the more difficult that it will be to really stop and change, once and for all.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by merely changing my 'personality' and 'behaviors' I am still participating in the experience of energy and of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by merely changing my 'personality' and 'behaviors' that I am merely suppressing these points, only for what I suppress to eventually rise again another day.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by suppressing my mind, I am forming a backdrop to go into further reactions to others and things in my world because of my secretly knowing that I still am participating in the same things within and as myself, secretly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'secretly' desire and hold on to my energetic experience of and as the mind by rationalizing that I do not need to write about it in high detail and specificity to truly transcend it, which has the result of keeping me suppressed within and as my mind and 'capping' my ability to free myself from my mind.

When and as I see myself going into resistance by merely making an adjustment to my personality because of my participation in the idea that 'I do not need to write about any mind-points that comes up within my awareness because I have judged it to be too small' or 'I have already overcome it (and I have merely stopped or suppressed but not covered this topic in writing)', or go into the point of merely making an adjustment to my 'beliefs' or 'behaviors', I stop and I breathe and instead make a point of taking note of whatever mind-point has come to my awareness and then writing about it so that I can truly stop my participation in the mind, instead of just suppress myself within the mind.

And thus:

I commit myself to writing about all points of the mind as they come up within my awareness so as to truly stop them and align myself in-fact within equal and one living.

I commit myself to writing in high detail and self-honesty and self-forgiveness for my entire life, or as long as it takes, instead of 'short-cutting' my process by making and adjustment to my personality.

I commit myself to stopping the mind, which means ending any personality that I have formed as a means of 'short-cutting' my process.

I commit myself to writing about points that I have apparently stopped, although I have not written about, so long as I see any form of these points existing within and as me, or if I see that writing about these points will assist me in further releasing me from my mind.

JTL – Day 75, Aligning Myself within Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as separate from all that is ‘here’ by participating in thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all that is here and from others by participating in my own mind within participating in thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, judgments, angers, frustrations, personalities, patterns, habits, memories, and by the defining of others and my world based on the energetic experience derived from existing within a friction created by having a starting point of ‘I stand alone and on my own’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go against the equality and oneness that in-fact exists by existing within the starting point of ‘I stand alone and own my own’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my self-responsibility to all existence and to others as myself by participating in the energetic experience of my own mind and the resulting illusion of separation.

When and as I see myself going into my mind by going into thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, wants, frustrations, angers, fear, personalities, patterns, habits, memories, and defining others and reacting towards others based on my defining them in separation of myself, I stop and I breathe because I realize that by doing so I am separating myself from my world and others as me and within doing that I am manifesting, creating, and perpetuating this very existence of separation and the very things that I am reacting towards, which are reflections of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within my own mind and within the starting point of ‘I stand alone and on my own’.

I commit myself to stopping my mind by breathing when and as I see myself going into it.

I commit myself to changing my starting point to 'I am equal and one with everything that exists as myself' through writing out the patterns of the mind that stop me from living this as my starting point.

I commit myself to stopping my participation in thoughts, feelings, and emotions so that I can stop manifesting, creating, and designing my own separation and the consequential outflows where most increasing suffer hardship.

I commit myself to taking responsibility towards others and everything, as myself, by doing what is best for all which is to align myself within oneness and equality as my starting point and thereby stopping the friction that is generated by going against what is here within the starting point of 'I stand alone'

I commit myself to when and as I react towards someone or an event in my world, to look within myself as to why I reacted, and to stop my reaction.

I commit myself to stopping my addiction to the energy experience that is derived from participating in the starting point of “I stand alone and on my own'.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself defining others, based on my experience of energy which is derived from my participation in thoughts, feelings, and motions, stopping this and instead looking at others as myself.

I commit myself to living the starting point and principle of equality and oneness; and living the realization that I am in-fact equal and one with all that exists and everyone by stopping my mind and aligning myself with the physical within the breath as who I am, of life.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for everything that I do that is an act of separation and everything that exists as equal and one with myself, as myself.

JTL Day 75 – More Clarification within the point of: “Aligning Myself Within 'All as One as Equal as Who I Am”, Continued

From the video:

“Thus within the elite of this world, is simply manifestations equal to and one with ourselves in alignment with the acceptance and allowance of self-separation to the responsibility of everything and everyone.”

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the elite of this world are simply manifestations of myself equal to and one with myself in alignment with the acceptance and allowance of self-separation to the responsibility of everything and everyone.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that that everyone and thing as they exist in this world are simply manifestations of myself equal and one with myself in alignment with the acceptance and allowance of self-separation to the responsibility of everything and everyone.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate myself from everything and everyone within standing in the starting point of 'I stand alone' and thereby manifesting a 'friction' by going against what is 'here' which is in-fact equal and one, and within that friction manifesting 'energy' which accumulated into an energy experience which self started defining within what was/is energetically experienced towards 'other' beings and existence as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility for all that is 'here', as myself because of my participation in the 'energetic' experience of self-separation which is manifested because of the starting point of 'I stand alone'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see other beings as separate from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reactions towards others beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility for what other beings and what this existence as a whole is showing me about what it is that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as myself, as them, as existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest with myself within the point that if I were to put myself in other's shoes, within their mind-consciousness systems, that I would do the same thing.

From the video:

“What has to be understood is each ones as individuals responsibility to the very creation of what is here in within this physical existence, because if that point does not stand within self in absolute understanding of self’s responsibility to self and all, this is going to be a very difficult process for you in terms of supporting yourself to make an existential change to what we have created as energy as consciousness as the mind-consciousness system.

The process that is and required to be walked to aligning oneself back to one's equality and oneness and in the process of doing so, one will start seeing solutions within an existential context, because at the moment one will only see who you are and what you are and how you live. So, you need to expand your seeing, and this you do within you process of transcending consciousness, energy and merging with the physical.”

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand my responsibility to the very creation of what is here within this phsyical existance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'fall' for the energitic experience of consciousness and thereby see myself as separate from all that is here and to within that neglect my responsibility for all that is here, as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue within the starting point of 'I stand alone'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the energetic experience of consciousness which is created and manifested because of my continuance within the starting point of 'I stand alone'

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to bring everything that I see and expereince in this world and towards others, back to self; because of the in-fact reality that all is one and equal, and a reflection of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reactions, judgments, opinions, definitions towards others in separation of me as them as all as one as equal; and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my self-responsibility towards everything and everyone, as me and what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself self-responsibility to all existence and everything and everyone by defining myself, everyone, and everything in separation of self; and thereby not looking within self to make the change within self so as to align self within the staring point of equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself and to define others within the energetic experience of consciousness and separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards others because of how I have defined them in separation from me as them.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that every time I define myself and others as 'I am this, or he or she is like that', that I am separating myself from myself as others and limiting myself and others within definitions based on an energetic experience which is manifested from a starting point of 'I stand alone'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the mind within thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, definitions, limitations within definitions, patterns, personalities, traits, angers, jeolousies, fears, desires, pictures in the mind, internal conversations – all of which are an act of separation, which then reflects back to me in this world as it is now. And within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the folly and self-neglect of self-responsibility to all as me by participating in the mind, which is demonstrated by this world and existence as it is now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my self-responsibility towards myself as others by continuing in the 'illusion' of separation by participating in the energetic experiences of consciousness because I refuse to change my starting point to 'all as one as equal' and refuse to take the responsibility to stop my mind and my existence as a mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see others and myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take self-responsibility of others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to go into reactions and judgments of others in separation of myself as them; and within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to instead slow-down and breathe and then look within myself for why it is that I have judged and reacted towards those beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have nothing to 'write' about within self-honesty as aligning myself as 'all as one as equal' within the point that I am in no way close to reaching a point of not reacting, not judging, and not participating in the energetic experience of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that until I have aligned myself within 'equality and oneness' in every single breath, that I am still going to be on my journey towards stopping my mind and my existence as a mind in separation from all that is here, as me.