I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to judge the points that come up into my
awareness, as if I am picking fruit – looking for the 'best' one,
and then oftentimes I don't pick any because none qualify. And
within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that everything of the mind is on the table –
that no point is 'too small or irrelevant or insignificant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to over-complicate my walk by believing that I
have to have everything 'down-pat' before I can really effectively
write myself to freedom.
And within this, I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not able to open
up points to see them completely for what they are so that I can
effectively write them out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to confuse myself about points as they come up by
'over thinking' them to the extent that I start to become unsure of
how to write out these points and then within that I give up.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that at this stage of
my walk, I am not going to see all the mufti-dimensions of points,
but as time goes on, with consistent application, I will begin to see
all the multi-dimensions of points because of my expanded
self-awareness.
And within this I forgive myself that I
have not allowed myself to accept and embrace myself for who I am
now, as one and equal with and as a mind-consciousness system
placement; so that from within that point, of being equal with and as
what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, I can
direct myself to re-create myself as life.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I go into
resistance to blogging and vlogging because of self-doubt that I have
the ability to see all the multi-dimensions of points, that this
self-doubt is really me resisting accepting myself for what I have
accepted and allowed myself to be and become – and therefore within
this I am not embracing myself for and as who I am now in this very
moment, which is causing more conflict within me and forcing me more
into the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to, when a point comes up into my awareness, then
go into over-analyzing the point within the knowledge and information
that I have attained. But by doing so, the point oftentimes becomes
even more confusing and blurry and intimidating as I begin to feel
that I do not really understand the point any longer.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to 'over think points' to a point where I become
actually confused about them and then begin questioning 'is this a
real point? Or how do I even write this point out?”
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that 'over-thinking'
points is a point to write about in and of itself, as this activity
is of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that literally
everything is on the 'table' – there are no points too small, or to
insignificant. I am here to stop my existence as a mind in its
totality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to 'over-think' points, instead of just remaining
here in the breath and taking note of points as they come into my
awareness so that I can later write them out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe that 'maybe I don't really understand
the material'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to go into a fear of writing and sharing myself
because of my belief that I may not truly understanding the material
and that someone else may judge me to be a 'hopeless cause'
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to connect the emotional reaction of fear to the
thought that others may see that I am lost and unable to understand
that material and unable to write out points effectively.
And withing this, I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing support from others
on my walk.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that these
fears are completely self-created, and thus I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to go into the point of worrying incessantly about
what others think about my writing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to worry because of my participation in the
thought that 'if I do not worry, that I may not be able to ensure the
best possible outcome'. And within this, I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed to try to control my reality through worry.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the
measure of how effective I am at my blogging and vlogging is really
up to me and how supportive it is in assisting me to stop my mind and
my existence as a mind-consciousness system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that even
un-effective blogging and vlogging can be supportive from the point
that by reviewing it, I can see where I am in my walk and where I
need to make adjustments – so within this, I forgive myself that I
have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the
simple act of blogging and vlogging is in itself supportive so long
as my intention is to align myself within oneness and equality and
stop my mind, because over time, I will expand myself through my
participation so that I can really begin to see what it is that I
have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and
stop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to to 'hide' within not making any blogs and vlogs
so no one can see how lost I really am and so that I do not have to
face myself as 'stuck' in my mind.
When and as I see myself over-thinking
points and then becoming confused and intimidated about them I stop
and take an in-breath and out-breath. I see, realize, and understand
that what I need to do is 'slow' down and pull myself out of my mind
because I am over complicating things and simply just need to remain
'here' within and as the breath.
When and as I see myself going into
self-judgments that my writing is not effective and then fears and
worry that others may see this, I stop and I breath because I realize
that within doing this, I am not truly embracing myself as who I am
now in this very moment; and I realize that my effectiveness will
grow as I expand myself through my blogging and vlogging, from where
I am now.
When and as I see myself going into
incessant worry over what others think of my writing or losing
support from others because they have 'giving up on me', I stop and I
breathe because I see, realize, and understand that this fear and
worry is completely self-created and achieves nothing. I see,
realize, and understand that consistent self application is the only
solution, and this is a simple solution - Just get up and do it.
And thus,
I commit myself to embracing myself for
what I have accepted and allowed myself to be as one and equal with
and as a mind-consciousness system placement, and from there
directing myself to use the tools of self-will, self-honesty,
self-forgiveness, self-breathing, blogging, and vlogging to over-time
re-create myself as life from the physical.
I commit myself to stop going into the
emotional reactions of fear and worry over the quality of my writing
by instead breathing, and even breathing deeply if necessary until
the worry and fear stops.
I commit myself to stopping the
over-thinking of points as they come up and instead breathing.
I commit myself to consistent
application so that over-time I can expand myself to be able to see
all the multi-dimensions of points.
I commit myself to taking
self-responsibility to stop my mind as best I can from where I am
now.
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