Yet, I do not explore or write about
these points because I already 'know better' or I do not think these
points are worthy of the pen, or worthy of my time, because I go into
the idea that I will just make the adjustment or have made the
adjustment, in some cases.
So, as a result, I have formed a kind
of Destonian Personality wherein, I behave and act in a certain way
based on my understanding of the Destonian message, yet I have not
actually taken the time to write out self-forgiveness on the points
that I feel I 'understand', and therefore have not really made the
change within transcending these points/the mind through self-honesty
and self-forgiveness, but rather am merely suppressing the points and
myself, because 'I know better.'
For instance, if I react to someone, I
will go into a point of slowing down and breathing as to stop the
reaction, if I can; and even if I still react, because I 'know
better' I rationalize that I do not need to write this reaction out
because I have already identified it for what it is, as a form of
recognition based on the knowledge and information that I have gained
from viewing and reading the Destine material.
The problem with this, is that I am not
transcending these points, but rather suppressing them. Even if I am
able to stop my participation in things of the mind, I am only doing
so in a form of suppression. I am not really stopping, because
stopping requires detailed self-honesty and self-forgiveness that can
only be achieved through writing in high specificity and detail, in
most cases.
So, I have created and formed a
resistance to process and stopping my mind by attaining a knowledge
base of what it is and means to live in and as equality and oneness,
wherein I act within this knowledge-base, but have not actually, in
most cases, worked with myself by writing extensively in self-honesty
with self-forgiveness so as to truly stop the mind and transcend the
mind, thereby living 'free' of any knowledge-base. This resistance
to process comes in the form of 'yes, I know that', ' and therefore,
I don’t need to write about that'. I will just stop participating,
or this or that is not significant enough to write about'.
One example is my former belief in a
god. I no longer believe in god. This wasn't too hard to give up,
actually, as deep down I really never believed in a god anyway. The
Desteni material helped me rid myself of this nonsense once and for
all; yet I have never written self-forgiveness on my belief in a god
because I believe that I do not need to do so because I have already
'made the change' So, instead what I have done, is suppressed this
point within myself by never addressing what and why I believed in a
god and how I came to be a being who believed in a god in the first
place.
So, there are many things that I have
not explored or written about because I have already 'made the
adjustment' based on knowledge that I have acquired, or I have judged
and deemed to be 'too small and insignificant to write about'. And
then, I make the 'adjustment to my behavior based on this and this is
what I call my 'Destonian Personality'.
Another thing that I have observed is
that I may be able to identify when I go into a reaction or judgment,
etc, and then say to myself that 'I need to stop', and then stop, but
then it happens again. This is so, because I have not taken these
points further with self-honesty and self-forgiveness, and instead,
just suppressed these thoughts and behavior as much as possible; but
the problem with this is that these thoughts/reactions/judgments,
etc., always arise another day in some form or another.
In other words, my 'Destonian
personality' is allowing me to make the adjustments to my beliefs and
behaviors based on knowledge and information, which is actually of an
energetic nature, a personality of the mind, and not a real equal and
one living, which can only be achieved through writing self-honesty
and self-forgiveness and walking and breathing self-correction into a
living expression of self – no matter how small the point or if I
have 'apparently' already made the 'change'.
So, within this, I see the same points
reemerging within myself as time goes on, yet I am stifled within
myself to do anything about them because of the resistance that I
have formed to change by forming a personality that fits the
knowledge and information picture that I have attained from the
Desteni material as a means to not face what it is indeed that I have
accepted and allowed myself to be and become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to merely suppress points within myself instead of
writing about them in self-honesty, doing self-forgiveness, and then
corrective application so as to 'truly' transcend points of the mind
once and for all. And within this, I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all that I am
doing is forming a resistance to the process of stopping my mind and
my existence as a mind in a real actualized way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'certain points
are too small and too irrelevant to write about'
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to participate in the thought and 'idea' that
'because I already understand something of the mind, in the context
of oneness and equality and equal and one living, that I do not need
to write about it, that instead I will just stop my participation in
it, which in most cases is just a form of suppression of these points
and not a true transcendence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that so long
as I am seeing myself participate in the same points over and over
again, that I am not transcending them and not stopping them and
therefore need to write about them so as to truly stop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
allowed myself to form a resistance towards self-honesty and
self-forgiveness within the point that I will 'just make an
adjustment in my 'behavior/personality' to fulfill a picture image of
what it is that I should be like as a Destonian, or as one who
understands the message of Desteni, instead of really facing myself
within the point of self-honest writing and self-forgiveness and
corrective application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to judge points as too small to write about.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not participate in an effective process of
consistently writing about points as they come up within my awareness
because I believe that I already know or understand these points.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to effectively 'disqualify' most things of mind
that come to my awareness because I judge them to be too
'insignificant' or because I already know or have a basic
understanding that these points are of the mind, or believe that I
have already stopped them when merely I have made an adjustment to my
personality, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to form as resistance to my process of stopping
the mind by being very picky about what it is that I write about to
the extent that I 'disqualify' just about everything that comes up
just.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the fact
that I see, points in the first place is because of my understanding
of the mind and that I am not my mind which is the base that is
required to walk this process in the first place – because if one
does not understand that one is not the mind, then one cannot
possibly walk a process of stopping one's existence as the mind. And
within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to deceive myself that I am stopping my and my existence as a
mind-consciousness system simple by making 'adjustments' based on
this knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to form a kind-of religious stance within the
knowledge and information that I have acquired through the Desteni
material, in that I have merely adjusted my beliefs and behaviors,
just like I would do in a religion, which also is based on the
acquiring of knowledge and information and then following personality
adjustment based on that knowledge and information,
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I judge
religious people as being foolish or silly, perhaps that is because I
am doing the same thing with the religion that I have formed with the
Desteni information and knowledge base.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that just like people
who are religious change their personalities slightly to conform
within their specific religion, that I too have changed my
personality slightly to conform within the knowledge and information
of the Desteni material.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to approach the Desteni message within the point
of acquiring knowledge and information, and that within that I
forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down, and
breathe, so that I use this knowledge and information to assist me to
see myself and work with myself, within self-honesty and
self-forgiveness, to truly transcend my mind.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the longer that I
walk this path of making 'adjustments' to my 'personality' to conform
within knowledge and information, that the more easy it will be and
become to continue on in this way, and the more difficult that it
will be to really stop and change, once and for all.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by merely
changing my 'personality' and 'behaviors' I am still participating in
the experience of energy and of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by merely
changing my 'personality' and 'behaviors' that I am merely
suppressing these points, only for what I suppress to eventually rise
again another day.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by suppressing my
mind, I am forming a backdrop to go into further reactions to others
and things in my world because of my secretly knowing that I still am
participating in the same things within and as myself, secretly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to 'secretly' desire and hold on to my energetic
experience of and as the mind by rationalizing that I do not need to
write about it in high detail and specificity to truly transcend it,
which has the result of keeping me suppressed within and as my mind
and 'capping' my ability to free myself from my mind.
When and as I see myself going into
resistance by merely making an adjustment to my personality because
of my participation in the idea that 'I do not need to write about
any mind-points that comes up within my awareness because I have
judged it to be too small' or 'I have already overcome it (and I have
merely stopped or suppressed but not covered this topic in writing)',
or go into the point of merely making an adjustment to my 'beliefs'
or 'behaviors', I stop and I breathe and instead make a point of
taking note of whatever mind-point has come to my awareness and then
writing about it so that I can truly stop my participation in the
mind, instead of just suppress myself within the mind.
And thus:
I commit myself to writing about all
points of the mind as they come up within my awareness so as to truly
stop them and align myself in-fact within equal and one living.
I commit myself to writing in high
detail and self-honesty and self-forgiveness for my entire life, or
as long as it takes, instead of 'short-cutting' my process by making
and adjustment to my personality.
I commit myself to stopping the mind,
which means ending any personality that I have formed as a means of
'short-cutting' my process.
I commit myself to writing about points
that I have apparently stopped, although I have not written about, so
long as I see any form of these points existing within and as me, or
if I see that writing about these points will assist me in further
releasing me from my mind.
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