Tuesday, November 12, 2013

JTL Day 67 – Self-Commitments on Resistance to Self-Honesty

When and as I see myself following impulses and thoughts as they come up that 'I need to do something else, or be more entertained, or I need to check this or that, or go here or there' when I am getting ready to start self-honesty and self-forgiveness, I stop and I breathe – I do not accept and allow myself to follow/energize those thoughts and impulses as they arise because I see, realize, and understand that these are intended to lure me away to not face myself here and stop my mind



And thus I commit myself to remaining here, in breath, when and as these thoughts and impulses come up, and not participating in them until these thoughts and impulses dissipate/disappear because of lack of energy due to my not charging them up within and as my participation in them.



When and as I see myself conjuring-up images of my mind as a 'metallic safe' that is tightly locked where I am unable to open it and examine its contents and then I go into a point of fear and resistance towards self-honesty and self-forgiveness because I 'feel' as if there is no hope, I stop and I breath and I delete these images from my mind – because I see, realize, and understand that I am creating these images as a form of resistance towards facing myself as my mind – and I see, realize, and understand that these images are not real and not the actual situation.



And thus, I commit myself to not participating in these images of my mind as a locked safe that I cannot break into, by simply deleting them by stopping my participation in them and through breathing.



When and as I see myself participating in the idea that self-forgiveness and self-honesty is boring and tedious and then start reacting in resistance towards participation in self-honesty, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in thoughts and ideas and judgments that self-honesty is tedious and boring because I see, realize, and understand that self-honesty is merely a way out of my mind and into and as the physical.



And thus, I commit myself to, when and as I see myself participating in ideas and judgments that self-forgiveness and self-honesty are tedious and boring, to stopping these thoughts through breathing and simply watching these thoughts as they dissipate as a result of my being grounded in the breath.



When and as I see myself going into reactions of fear and intimidation and resistance towards self-honesty and self-forgiveness because of my participation in thoughts and judgments and pictures toward it, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to react emotionally to self-honesty and self-forgiveness because I see, realize, and understand that reacting in fear and intimidation and resistance only makes it more difficult to remain here in breath and direct myself to follow through with my self-commitments.



And thus, I commit myself to remaining here and not participating in the emotional reactions of fear, intimidation, and resistance towards self-forgiveness and self-honesty by instead breathing and slowing myself down until I am able to remain here stable in the breath with no reactions – and then following through with my self-honesty and self-forgiveness.

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