JTL Day 63 – Self-forgiveness on Fear of Self Forgivness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am unable to think of anything to practice self-forgiveness on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am incapable of self honesty and self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in worry when faced with the point that I cannot think of anything to practice self forgiveness/self honesty on.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when faced with the point that I cannot think of anything to practice self forgiveness/self honesty on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself ignore the 'smaller' point and go for the 'big' points/big realizations, not realizing that all points are equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to 'think' of points to practice self-forgiveness/self-honesty on instead of simply slowing down and breathing and allowing the points to present themselves.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when it is that I believe that I cannot think of anything to conduct self-honey and self-forgiveness on, that this is so because I am 'moving too fast' within participating in thoughts, feelings, and emotions and not breathing and remaining here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the idea/experience that I cannot quite place what it is that I need to explore in self-honesty and self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the idea that 'my mind is illusive and like a cryptic code that is too difficult for me to figure out', and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with intimidation to this idea that 'I am not able to figure out my mind.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to practice self-honesty and self-forgiveness within 'moving too fast, within and as thinking' wherein I am not here as the observer of my mind, but within and as the mind; and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the importance of slowing down and breathing and remaining here as the observer so that I can see what it is that is happening in my mind and then express self-honesty and self-forgiveness to stop my participation in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within 'moving too fast' and not slowing down and breathing adequately while practicing self-honesty and self-forgiveness, that I have been not able to specify in detail adequately in order to stop and thus I have been assisting my mind to form an even greater resistance towards self-honesty and self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all resistance to stopping my mind is of the mind and that it is not actually real and can be stopped through breathing and slowing down and remaining here as the directive point of me, of life, not of the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'race' with my mind into thoughts that 'I'd rather do something else than self-honesty and self-forgiveness because I it is too hard', and then to connect the emotional reaction of resistance to remaining here and breathing and directing myself as life, of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the realization that I am remaining in the exact same place, not moving – that I am accepting and allowing my mind to form resistances in order to keep me as the source point of its existence, as the battery that supplies the energy, so long as I follow the thoughts that come up and then react to the thoughts, instead of remaining here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the slave of my mind because of my fear of the mind and my fear of not being entertained by my mind, by the energy of my mind within participating in the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the emotional reaction of fear towards the idea of just being here within and as the breath, as if that is not 'enough', not 'enough' for me to keep me entertained and 'happy, as if that is not enough for me to keep me from being bored, as if that is not enough for me to keep me from missing something exciting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the idea that I need to be 'occupied', 'entertained', 'excited' is separation of myself here as life, as if I need to 'go somewhere or do something' outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the idea that 'I don't want to remain here and breathe. I need something more”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a state of 'wanting something more' not realizing that participating in that desire is a lure to pull me into my mind where I start to think of what that 'something more' might be and then I go and create it within and as thoughts and ideas and then I do it – all of which is an experience of energy/creating energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase the creation of energy as my life purpose – the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the practice of self-honesty and self-forgiveness as if I am resisting death; and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to relate the process of stopping my mind to the death of me and then react to this in fear and resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I must die, as the systematic energy-based existence of the mind, so that I can live as the directive point of me, of life, of substance, one and equal with the physical, free of energy and the need thereof.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer to be entertained by the energy of my mind, rather than to be here, stable, breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a myriad of excuses and justifications so that I can find reasons to go into my mind, rather than spend the time to stop it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the excuse/rationale that I am not 'smart enough to figure out my mind in order to specify in adequate detail the systems of the mind in order to really stop it and my participation within and as it'; and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and intimidation and then to 'give-up' – not realizing that I created that entire payout so that I could just simply remain in my comfort-zone, of the mind and its energy creations.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am creating my experience within and as my mind and all the thoughts, feelings, emotions, resistances, fears that I experience, are of me, of my creation.