JTL Day 65 – Self-forgiveness on Resistance to Self-Honesty Continued

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to picture my mind as a huge iron box with a system of locks that I cannot open – and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and intimidation towards this picture that I have created in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to picture my mind as an unsolvable Rubik-cube and then to react in fear and intimidation towards this picture that I have create within my own mind in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotional reaction of 'giving up' on myself because of my participation in the picture/image of my mind as an unsolvable iron Rubik-cub/box.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with the emotional experience of intimidation towards the idea of trying to solve/open/unlock my mind and the patterns, thoughts, feelings, emotions, personalities, characters, and systems that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in my own ignorance and refusal to be the directive power of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer the 'easy' way of going about my day within and as the patterns that I have created myself as, my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand, that I have, through my own ignore-rance, created and manifested myself as self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not, see, realize, and understand, that I have, through my own ignore-rance, created and manifested myself as a self-dishonest being enslaved and entrapped by the energetic addiction to my mind consciousness system that is lived out by my participation in the patterns, thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions, judgments, personalities, characters that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become enslaved to my own mind through my own ignorance and self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship with the energy that is generated from my participation in thoughts, feelings, and emotions as they come up within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'choose' to go into thoughts, and then to react to thoughts with emotions and feelings, thereby powering the thoughts and reactions with the substance of myself, and then I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'enjoy' this addiction to energy and the creation of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'rush' into my thoughts instead of breathing and remaining here when and as thoughts arise.

I forgive myself that I not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I have thoughts and then participate in them, I am therefore charging them up and powering my mind to take further control over me, and thereby I am creating my own experience of enslavement and addiction to my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that 'drug-users' in this world are showing me my own addiction to energy and the creation of energy within and as my addiction to thoughts/thinking and reacting in emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be an 'energy' addict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted the feeling of participating in thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and within that I forgive myself that I have used this 'positive' feeling derived from my participation in my mind, as a platform, to form a resistance towards stopping my thoughts and remaining here as the breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own experience of not wanting to practice self-honesty and self-forgiveness because of my own self-created idea that this is boring and my own self-created idea that this is not really 'living'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define living as doing things that I like and within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that things that I like, are all things that I derive emotional experiences from and therefore create and energetic high that I can 'enjoy'

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to redefine what it is that I 'like' within and as oneness and equality, and instead ignore that realization that what it is that I like typically is something that assists me in the creation of thoughts, feelings, and emotions which generate energy from my very substance which I 'enjoy' because within this energy, I feel 'alive'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of 'feeling alive' from the resulting energy rush of participating in thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that it is in-fact I who create and manifest my experience of myself in every moment, and that all resistance to self-honesty and self-forgiveness is self-created and not real outside of the power that I give it within participating in these specific thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my experience toward self-honesty and self-forgiveness as resistance and then to give in to the resistance, which means that I have participating in the corresponding thoughts feelings, and emotions that manifest this experience, instead of stopping these thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures, and remaining here, grounded in the breath – not charging these thoughts, feelings, and emotions with energy thereby making them more powerful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the mind by charging-up the thoughts that originate from it by participating in them and reacting to these thoughts – giving them power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that by remaining here, and breathing and not participating in thoughts as they come-up by thinking further and then reacting, I am by doing this taking my power back so as to be and become the directive principle in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form distractions that can easily 'pull me away' from my application of self honesty and self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest, and energize the thoughts, and ideas of 'I need to do other things than sit and breathe and participate in self-honesty'. And within that, I forgive myself that I have created myself as always seeking to do something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define fun as doing something that 'stimulates' me in separation of myself here as life, as the breathe, as if I need anything more that what I already am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my experience as boring or fulfilling if I am to remain here in breath, and be the observer of my mind and then write about it within and as self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a resistance to self-honesty because of my predefined ideas of fun, fulfillment, and excitement and my self created need to participate in such things that bring me fun, fulfillment, and excitement.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am sabotaging myself and my ability to create/manifest myself as self-honest by my participating in the ideas of fun, fulfillment, and excitement as being required to do something other than simply being here and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand I do not naturally require outside stimulus to 'feel' fulfilled and that that is of the mind, of my own creation as a mind-consciousness system in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a being whose 'needs' to be fulfilled, stimulated, energized, and entertained rather than to create myself as a being who is whole and complete within every breath in need of nothing to stabilize my experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to remain here, within and as the breath, in every moment – not realizing that this is the key to walking myself in the manifested self-creation of me as self-honesty as who I am.