JTL Day 64 – Self-forgiveness on Resistance to Self-Honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'I am not able to explore myself adequately in Self-Honesty'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the thought that 'I am not able to explore myself in self-honesty' with intimidation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotional experience of 'intimidation' towards exploring myself in self-honesty, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself make excuses and justifications to not participate and not apply myself adequately within and as walking self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own self-dishonesty within reacting to the thought that 'I am too far gone/too systematized for me to clearly see within and as self-honesty what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a resistance to applying myself within and as self-honesty because I don't want to face myself within and as self-honesty; I don't want to face myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become because it is too 'hard'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'too' hard to explore myself within and as self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather participate in the energetic experience of thoughts, feelings, and emotions rather that slow-down and breathe and stop my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self-honesty as boring, tedious, and difficult, all in separation of myself here as the breath, as my physical body as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not explore myself in self-honesty because I don't want anyone to 'know' or 'see' that I do not understand who I am as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not explore myself in self-honesty because I have participated in the thought that 'I do not know how to explore myself in self-honesty and I don't want to write something 'stupid' so that all can see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'not smart enough' to explore myself in self-honesty because of the thought that 'I am too far-gone, too systematized as my mind in order for me to clearly see what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to race within my thoughts, reacting in fear and intimidation to them because of my participation within and as them, not realizing that this is me moving too fast, which makes it difficult for me to see what it is that I am accepting and allowing as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the answer to my 'delimna' which is too slow down and breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to energize and be the energy source of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions by participating in them as they come up, instead of remaining here, stable in breath, where if I move with the thoughts, not too slow as to resist or try to suppress, but with the thoughts, although, not participating in them – these thoughts will dissipate on their own and go away because I am thereby not energizing them by participating in them.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my perception of my 'not being able to explore myself within self-honesty' is not real, it is a fiction of my mind that I have made real by participating in it – by energizing the thoughts that come up of 'I cannot see clearly enough to explore myself within self-honesty' and then reacting to these thoughts with fear and intimidation and giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my fullest effort to explore myself withing self-honesty, self forgiveness, and then corrective application thereby giving my mind more ability to further enslave me and trap me because it is building resistance to my efforts to free myself faster than I am pushing to stop myself as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate self-honesty and self-forgiveness to 'not living'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the effort of self-honesty and self-forgiveness as 'negative' in separation of myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly be seeking energy fixes within and as thoughts, feelings, emotions, personalities, characters, and reactions that are brought about by various activities/stimulus within my experience wherein I have formed a relationship with things outside of myself that evoke energetic experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the energetic experience of the mind and things outside of myself that I have formed relationships with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a resistance to self-honesty, self-forgiveness, and corrective application because it does not evoke an energetic experience and therefore I have defined these activities as 'boring' and 'tedious' and even 'intimidating' in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotional reaction of fear towards the idea that I hold that I am not able to explore myself within and as self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my self as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'I am too lost to be able to explore myself within self-honesty' and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to that thought with the emotional experience of 'giving up' and looking for something else to do so that I don't have to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-honesty and self-forgiveness is not fun or enjoyable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the idea that self-honesty and self-forgiveness reduces my quality of life; and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that no other activities that I participate in are outside of my per-programmed nature wherein what it is that I am 'interested' is all but things outside of myself that I have formed a relationship with my mind with, and thus produce certain energetic experiences which entertain me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live for energetic experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself to being defined within a certain set of activities that define me and who I am, as these things are all that I like to do. And within that, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have limited myself within and as pursuing only that which makes me feel good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue only that which makes me feel good. And within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am living my life as an energy slave to my mind – both the battery to produce the energy and the being relishing within and as the energy experience of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose 'self-dishonesty' over self-honesty time and time again, each and every time that I am faced with a choice to either participate in the energy of the mind, or to breathe and be here within and as the physical as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all as one as equal as me as who I am, by choosing to participate in the limited and defined energy experience of the mind, as a mind-consciousness being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to my mind whenever it is that I participate in thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my fear of my self-dishonesty to further manipulate myself to purse more self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my experience of myself as self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest myself as self-dishonest and a self-dishonest being enslaved by the entertainment of the energetic experience of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my emotional reactions of fear and intimidation towards self-honesty and self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own experience of wanting to give up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'I want to give-up on myself and I wish I could give-up on myself'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that my 'future' self will 'pull-it together' for me and 'save' me from my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my self-responsibility to create myself as self-honesty by relying on myself to to this at some future date – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'wait' on myself to 'save' me from myself in the future – thus, I have been waiting on a savior to save me from myself instead of facing myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in each and every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become religious about my self-honesty, depending on the god of myself to save me from myself in the future, instead of standing up and doing it now.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that that day will never come on its own, that the savior will not save me from myself, and that I am sabotaging my process of creating myself as self-honesty by depending on myself to do it later.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from me here, by waiting and projecting myself into the future as able to be self-honest, eventually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind instead of remaining here as breath, which is the key to my standing-up and creating myself as self-honesty, as oneness and equality, as the physical.