Day 247 – The Economics of The Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with others so that I can prove myself to be superior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue the acquisition of knowledge and information so that I can position myself as a superior being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue religion and spirituality so that I can position myself as a superior being.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my desire to be seen as a superior being comes from a starting point of feeling inferior through comparison and competition with others.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the economic system of capitalism where everyone competes for the most money is an existential outflow of my own desire to be the best / the most superior being where I am only concerned with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only be concerned with my own self-interest and my own survival.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the economic system of capitalism is the existential manifestation of this point of each being only being concerned with their own self-interest to be the most superior / have the most energy / have the most money, have the greatest experience of self at the expense of all the rest – which is resulting in the destruction of our planet on an existential level and our bodies on a personal level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that capitalism is the only economic system that can actually work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own brainwashing onto any other economic idea whatsoever in that point rejected any other economic system as a reaction within the point that ‘it will not work’ without even considering other ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, and fall for the belief, that if people were to be given money for their basic needs, that they would automatically become worthless bums and a drag on society and that the economy would just collapse – and thus within this point, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that capitalism as it is now is the only system that can work for mankind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that for every action there is a consequence to this physical existence.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that for their to be ‘winners’ within this economic system, there has to be ‘losers’ and thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify, within and as myself / my mind, the system of capitalism and also those who are the losers in this system who have little or no money to survive and take care of themselves through the point that ‘capitalism is the best only system that we can offer because otherwise people would just become lazy bums and the economy would collapse if we were to actually distribute money in a way to take care of everyone equal and one’.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see the absurdity of this belief and justification within the point that our current system of capitalism is and has created the condition that we see now where 4 billion or so people on this planet are starving and the rest or living pay-check to pay-check in miserable job situations and only a few, like maybe 1% to 3% of the total world population are actually living a dignified life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that competing with everyone for money and resources in order to survive and then, if possible, create for myself the most money and thus highest living standard possible – all within my own self-interest so that I can lift myself up in my minds-eye so that I can see myself as a superior being to all the rest – means war.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that war in this world is a direct consequence of capitalism and war is showing me that I am at war with others as well.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the manifestation of war on this planet is a product of those at the top who have more control and power competing with each other for money, resources, status, and position – just like all the rest of the population – but those at the top can actually go to war to compete – so they do.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that through my acceptance of this capitalist system and the system of competition with others to be the winner of resources, money, status, position so that I can see myself as superior within my own self interest – gives permission for war on this planet to exist of which this is shown and demonstrated by the perpetual war that is waged on this planet by the elite who are doing the exact same thing as me, just with bigger deadlier toys that they have access too.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expose myself and others to being killed by ruthless people who are ready to kill for their status – through my acceptance of capitalism which is a system of competing with others for status and power at the expense of everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be rich so that I can experience the ultimate sex, power, position, and glorification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical through the polarity that I created through judgment to a point where I created within and as myself desire / the desire to be rich so that I cover up the point that I created within and as myself where I feel ‘less than’ / ‘inferior to’ others through judgment and comparison.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all desire comes from the opposite starting point and thus within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my desire to be rich comes from the starting point of feeling like I am not enough right here, as who I am in every breath.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this feeling of inadequacy, inferiority, boredom, and not having enough was programmed into me by the winners in this capitalist system through media, like television, for the very purpose of controlling me and using me to produce their wealth, power, and money.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all the gurus and spiritual hero’s of this world were really only pursuing their own self-interest of acquiring status, money, and power and that they really never really gave a shit about me or those who they claimed to help – because if they really did, then they would have promoted a real solution where everyone can become winners.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my desire to be seen as a guru or a guide of any kind was always to fulfill my own desires for wealth, power, status, and recognition as a winner in this system – and all of which is from a starting point of lack within and as myself that I created through my own mind in separation of me as all as one as equal and as the physical, of life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within my acceptance of the mind as who I am where I pursue the ultimate experience of positive energy which I define as happiness – that I am in no way considering my physical body and the consequences that I am created within and as my own physical through the abuse that it takes as being used as the source of the energy that is needed to create the experience of happiness within and as me.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that capitalism is the exact same thing / manifestation where our current debt-based money system where we as mankind pursue our own self interest at the expense of everyone else and this physical planet is creating the outflow of consequence where our planet is being destroyed to such an extent that we may actually go extinct in the not so distant future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is no other way than this current system.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the debt based currency that man uses today is one and equal with the pursuit of positive energy which is actually debt based – in that when one pursues positive energy, negative energy is automatically produced that manifests in another part of the world – just like when we pursue positively, negativity is automatically produced – as this is the law of polarity.  I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this applies even within self wherein if one pursue happiness, for instance, then sadness or another negative emotion will automatically come up when whatever is being used to create happiness within self goes away or runs its course.

I commit myself to live here and walk in equality and oneness within and as myself through the daily application of facing myself in all ways that I am existing in the polarity of the mind, through facing myself in self-honesty, and writing, and then also breathing so that I can align myself here within and as the physical and as the breath thus stopping the polarity of the mind that I have been living for thousands of years in blind acceptance. 

I commit myself to live without energy and to explore every single desire that I have because I see, realize, and understand that desires all have the starting point of some form of belief and experience that I am lacking in some way and thus are keys to ending my existence in separation from the physical. 

I see, realize, and understand that our economy is driven by desire to be more than, to be better than.

I commit myself to create myself as the living example that we can exist without energy and thus no longer walk in the polarity of the mind and thus within this create an economic system where all are truly equals.

 

 

Day 246 – Where Am I?

So the question is, where am I most of the time?  Am I being moved by energy even in the most practical of tasks? 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by energy even in the simplest and most practical of tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need energy to move and direct me to do everything and anything at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be pulled like a string attached to my solar plexus, from one task to another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in my mind to such an extent that I have little real-time memory of my physical surrounding, my body, and where I am within and as myself throughout my day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be always switching characters and personalities based upon whom I am talking to, what I am doing, and what I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by the fear of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in getting things done fast and moving between point and A and B fast.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if I were here as the director of me in every breath, that I would have a real-time memory of everything that I do and all the details of the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my ability to truly listen to others because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind experience is me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that grounding myself to be and remain here, as the physical, in every breath, will take application, dedication, and commitment – just like learning anything new such as riding a bike – and that within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that it will take time and commitment to even form the awareness of when I am stepping into my mind and being directed by energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself to such an extent that I am not even aware most of the time that I am being directed and moved by energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify to myself being directed by energy when I am doing so to accomplish practical tasks.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the difference between being directed by energy and being the director of me is that as the director of me, I slow down and breathe and clear any and all energies, desires, fears, worries, impatience, etc, before I move my physical body.  Also within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that as the director of me, where no energy is directing me, I am here and thus able to really see and participate within and as the physical and thus my physical memory of all details physical will be enhanced and thus this will and can act as a reference point to see if and when I am really here as the director of me, when looking back.

When and as I see myself being directed by energy, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to give my directive power away to any form of energy movement, positive, neutral, or negative because I see, realize, and understand that within doing so I am abdicating my directive principle to the energy of the mind and thus am not really living.  Thus, I commit myself to slow down in everything that I do by constantly reminding myself to ask the question ‘am I being directed by energy?  Do I feel any energy right here, right now?’ as much as possible so that I can assist myself to slow down, breathe, stop and energies from moving me, and then step in as the director of me and thus take my power back.

 

 

 

Day 245 – Money is the Anthem of Success

Life in our current economic structure of capitalism is a life of competition, comparison, superiority / inferiority which is all based upon the amount of sex and money we can acquire for ourselves.  We form groups and join groups based upon how we have defined ourselves and what amount of sex and money these groups can bring us through the way they make us feel about ourselves and also from the standpoint of survival in that joining a group makes us more secure and safe.  We like to pretend that our motives and our hearts are pure, and in a way they are, but because we are driven by the energies of the mind that are represented in and as sex and money, our motives are only of the self-interest of survival and then glory if our survival needs are taken care of.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek only my own self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live for sex and money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate myself with groups based upon the way that they make me feel based upon the way that I have defined myself in relation to the world system of money and in relation to if these groups and movements will bring me sex and money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be rich.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek fulfillment within energetic experiences that I can only buy with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in ways that can only be fulfilled through the acquiring of money that will enable me to buy things and design my life around a pictured presentation of me that exists within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to not have the money required to buy the things that would demonstrate to others who I am within my own self-definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others from the starting point of determining if I am superior or inferior to them which then I use to determine if there is a way that I can align myself with others to increase my supply of sex and money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the comparison game with everyone I meet where in my mind I compare myself to other and define myself as either equal, superior, or inferior to them.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate different personalities to people depending on whether I feel superior or inferior or equal to them in order to get what I want within and as sex and money or avoid that what I fear – which is avoided anything and anyone that is a threat to my survival.

I forgive myself that I have, in the past, joined religious movements because I felt superior to others within the point that I was walking within the ‘right’ knowledge and information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to join religions so that I can stake my claim in the highest heavens and have the most superior experience in the after-life.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up living here for a future life that exists within and as pictures in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my self-value within the amount of money and sex that I can procure for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and to serve the idea of having plenty of money and sex.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that religion is just another way to deceive oneself into the pursuit a form of money and sex within the point that through religion one is just simply pursing the same exact energetic experience of superiority and pure energy experience as one would have through having lots of money and sex – the superiority experience and pure energy ‘love’ experience as going to heaven and believing that some supreme super-hero actually gives a shit about you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am some sort of a spiritual guru and guide because I was able to understand the ‘esoteric’ meaning of the bible and within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within this point of seeing myself as a guru / guide I was just making myself feel superior from a starting point of feeling inferior.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my desire to be rich I created within and as myself as a consequence of me separating me from myself by judging the point of being rich as a superiority point wherein if I am not rich then I am inferior to those who are rich and thus I created the desire to be rich in order to feel and experience the point of superiority, which equals and is the experience of having sex and money and lots of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself that my motives are pure and that I don’t really want sex and money, when in fact that is all that I have ever lived for with the exception of survival – in that the only other motive that one has other than to live for sex and money is to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live to survive in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical and from right here through my desire for sex and money.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the economic system of capitalism is indeed a system of the pursuit of sex and money as capital is the equivalent of money and the ‘ism’ in capital-ISM is the pursuit of money and money equals sex thus capitalism also the pursuit of sex – and the acquisition of money which equals sex is also known as the pursuit of happiness.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that through the pursuit of happiness / money / sex where each competes for a limited supply of money and thus sex, that there will also manifest ‘losers’ or in other words those who live the negative polarity equation, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify this within the justification of ‘survival of the fittest’.

I commit myself to no longer live for money by aligning myself with who I am here as the physical and as the breath and as each and every being that is here and as this planet and this total existence – as me.  As within the separation that I have created within and as myself through the pursuit of sex and money as an energy experience – I have created and co-created a world of losers and winners where we all suffer as a consequence together because the negative always exists along side the positive both within our own experience of ourselves and within this world as a whole.  Thus, I commit myself to live for each and everyone and everything as it is all me and no longer live for energy, but to live each breath here as the breath thus ending the polarity of the mind which is represented in the pursuit of sex and money.

 

 

 

 

 

Day 244 - Anger reaction in relation to person X, part II – exploring the triggers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through my participation in my mind / my backchat where I connect fear of being seen as abusive, and in the ‘wrong’ light by others to an event and then react in more fear to that initial fear and then within this fuel-up and charge fear energy within and as myself that then charges up my imagination more and more where I then take the event and the entire context of the situation and make it more than it actually is – thus creating even more fear within and as myself and then this cycle then thus charges up fear, anger, embarrassment, spite, and revenge energy within and as myself that will eventually need to be released and vented out, but instead is suppressed within and as myself as the natural consequence of participating in my mind and using my mind as the solution to that what I fear – within this, set myself up for a future anger reaction to an external trigger where once this trigger is encountered, the pent-up energy that I created within and as myself / my participation in mind through my mind will be unleashed / vented out.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am actually created myself in the image of that what I fear.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I am create all this fear, embarrassment, spite, revenge, and anger energy within and as myself through participating in this fear cycle within and as my mind – that this energy will have to be released at a future point and that simply charging myself up and then trying to suppress this energy within and as myself will only lead to future outflows / reactions in anger, spite, resentment, revenge, and embarrassment to the initial fear reaction when a certain trigger is encountered.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that anything that is said by the beings that activates all this pent-up stored energy such as one of these beings saying something that suggests that what I fear is true – that because I have all this energy already suppressed and stored within me – then just speaking a few words that confirm the fear point can act as a trigger for me to go into an anger reaction.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself up for a future anger reaction to that what I fear through charging the energy up and creating a large body of potential triggers because the more that I think and imagine and participate in backchat regarding the actual event in the energies of fear, anger, embarrassment, spite, and revenge the wider the range of potential triggers I am creating – and thus within this I am making myself more volatile and unpredictable.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that speaking self forgiveness in the moment when the initial fear reactions come up, and then using self-forgiveness to stop and delete the insuring thoughts, fears, and imaginations, is the key to releasing and stopping this energy before it becomes bigger and more complicated and more powerful.

When and as I see myself going into the fear and reacting in anger to the trigger of my fear of ‘being made to look like the bad guy and an abuser by persons X and Y, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to participate in fear / react in fear because I see, realize, and understand that fear serves no purpose whatsoever.  I see, realize, and understand that the fear of being ‘made to look like the bad buy / being misrepresented and looking like an abuser’ acts as a trigger to trigger a whole cycle of reacting in fear and then reacting with more imaginations about the initial event / scenario that the fear is based upon which this creates more fear connections, more fear reactions to the fear connections and then more imaginations and internal conversations that create more emotional reactions such anger, spite, revenge, and embarrassment to exist suppressed within and as my mind that will have to eventually be released at a future point in time.  Thus, I commit myself to, when and as I see that first initial fear connection to my internal conversations, ideas, and projections that ‘person x and person y is making me look like the bad guy and abuser / abusive, I immediately stop and clear my thoughts / back-chats and take a deep breath in, and then a slow breath out so as to stop the initial energy reaction in fear before it cycles and becomes more and more powerful thus swooping up more energy reactions of emotions such as anger, spite, revenge, and embarrassment up with it creating an emotional frenzy within and as me.  I commit myself to direct this energy to be grounded and stopped by immediately saying / applying self-forgiveness in the moment that I see this initial fear reaction / connection that acts a trigger for the whole fear cycle such as ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to the point of ‘looking like the bad guy / the abuser and being misrepresented by persons X and Y.  I commit myself to remind myself through self-forgiveness that this fear and the fear cycle serve no purpose whatsoever but to assist and support myself to create myself into the very thing that I fear – and that is being abuse through a future anger reaction that I myself will create as myself if I participate in this initial fear cycle wrought through the trigger of the initial fear.

When and as I see myself unleashing suppressed anger because of a trigger where person X and / or person Y says something that activates all the stored-up energy of anger, embarrassment, spite, revenge, and fear that I myself created and suppressed within and as me by participating in the fear cycle that I described above, I stop and I breathe, and I remove myself from person Xs and person Ys presence until I can stop my thoughts and my reactions through breathing and speaking / applying self-forgiveness in the moment.  I see, realize, and understand that through my participation in the initial fear cycle that was triggered by my own fear, that I thus layered suppressed anger, spite, revenge, embarrassment, and fear energy within and as myself that would have to be released upon just hearing words by person X and Y that validate or threaten that what I fear and have thus become angry about.  I see, realize, and understand that the triggers are vast at this stage and almost impossible to single out one by one because of the fact that the suppressed anger, spite, revenge, embarrassment, and fear energy is so intense that I am now creating myself as volatile.  Thus, I commit myself to remove myself from the presence of persons X and persons Y if and when I see that they have spoken words to me that have acted as a trigger for me to go into these reactions of anger, spite, revenge, embarrassment, and fear where I just want to ‘let it all out, stand up for myself, and set them straight’ through this reaction.  I commit myself to remove myself from their presence, to breathe deep in and deep out thus slowing myself down, and then to speak and apply self-forgivness in the moment such as ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger, spite, revenge, embarrassment, and fear’ to the words that acted as triggers for these reactions from persons X and persons Y.

I commit myself to apply this technique in all anger reactions from this point forward.

I commit myself to stopping the initial fear cycle that creates volatile suppressed anger energy within and as me by no longer accepting and allowing myself to participate in this mental energy drama cycle.

I commit myself to breathe and stop my fears, align myself within and as the physical, and walk in equality.

I see, realize, and understand that my fear and anger reactions are projected blame – where I blame others for what I may in fact be doing so that I do not have to see the reality of me.  I see, realize, and understand that I am fortunate to have beings in my life that can expose me so that I can face me for who I am and have been accepting and allowing myself to exist as.  I thus commit myself to look at myself and to no longer project blame through anger reactions.

I see, realize, and understand that although fear and the anger are and seem like powerful energetic emotions, that the only are as powerful as I give my power to them – and that I can stop these reactions by stopping myself and standing as a pillar unmoved.

I commit myself to saying and applying self-forgivness in the moment in a stern, stable, and self-directive resounding voice in order to break-up the energies of fear and anger and thus stabilize myself and take my directive power back.

 

 

 

Day 243 – Anger reaction in relation to person X, part I

 I feel as if I have been misrepresented and falsely accused by 2 people that I know as regarding a certain situation.  My reactions to this caught me by surprise, as because at first when hearing the news of their ‘report’ on me, I was not that upset by it.  But the more I thought about it and compared their report on me to my own memories of the events and who I was in the events, I became more and more upset to the point where I believe to a certain extent and have been participating in internal conversations / back-chat such as ‘I cannot let them get away with this’, ‘they are misrepresenting me’, ‘they are trying to manipulate me’, ‘I have to set the record straight’; ‘they are lying about me or are just completely out of their minds’, ‘they are trying to make me look like the bad-guy and an abuser when I am not.’  So, the more and more that I compare their report on me and my own memories of the actual events, the more and more that this back-chat generates in my mind, and then that charges up anger reactions towards them within the context of my acting in anger to try and get them back, or show them that they are lying about me, or exaggerating about me, or trying to manipulate me in some way, or manipulate others to gain attention for themselves in some way.’  Thus, I have had anger reactions towards one of these people this past week as a consequence of all this.  Now, I really do believe that their ‘side’ of the story is a misrepresentation of motives that I am not completely sure of, because my memories of these events and who I am and who I was during these events definitely do not match their side of the story.  And that is what is making this so difficult to contain, because as soon as I start in with myself about how this is not what happened, etc., then all the back-chat starts coming, etc.  And if I try and let this go and just accept this false report on me, then I feel weak, or as if I am not standing up for myself.  Thus, I am trapped between 2 points – 1.  feeling weak, etc., and 2. getting angry with them.  Now, I am not saying that they are necessarily lying about me, in fact.  I mean, people do have different interpretations of events.  However, in this case, I do believe that there could be some dishonesty on one of these people parts going on. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a reaction to hearing a report on my behavior that conflicts with my own memories of both the events and who I was in the events, go into the back-chat ‘I cannot let him / them get away with this because his / their report of me makes me look like an abuser.’  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear and have a fear reaction to the point of ‘looking like an abuser.’  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear of looking like and abuser to fear itself, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to my own fear / to fear itself.  And thus, within this cycle of fear, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate and charge fear energy within and as myself to a point where I channel into an anger reaction – which is actually manifesting the very thing that I fear, as a consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a reaction to hearing a report on my behavior that conflicts with my own memories of both the event and who I was in the events, go into the backchat ‘he is lying and making me look like the bad-guy’.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear and have a fear reaction to the point of ‘looking like the bad-guy’.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear of ‘looking like the bad guy’ to fear itself, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to my own fear / to fear itself.  And thus, within this cycle of fear reaction and then reacting to my own fear, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate and charge fear energy within and as myself to a point where I channel this fear into an actual anger reaction towards these very beings – which is actually manifesting the very thing that I fear, as a consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a reaction to hearing a report on my behavior that conflicts with my own memories of both the event and who I was in the events, go into the backchat ‘he is doing this as a manipulation tactic to gain power and control over me’.    Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear of ‘being controlled and manipulated’ to fear itself, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to my own fear / to fear itself.  And thus, within this cycle of fear reaction and then reacting to my own fear, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate and charge fear energy within and as myself to a point where I channel this fear energy into an actual manifested anger reaction towards these very beings – which is actually thus manifesting the very thing that I fear as a consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my own backchat and fear of ‘he is lying’, while in conversation with person X, to act as a trigger for me to go into an anger reaction towards person X.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my own backchat and fear of ‘he is trying to manipulate me’, while in conversation with person X, to trigger a reaction of anger towards person x.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my own backchat and fear of ‘he is trying to make me look like the bad guy’, while in conversation with person X, to act as a trigger for me to have an anger reaction towards person x.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel the emotions of fear by connecting fear to my own backchat, then reacting in fear to the fear that I connected to my backchat wherein from this fear state, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow this fear to fuel my imaginations and projections within and as my own mind thus making everything bigger and more serious than what it really is within and as my own mind, and from there connecting more fear to these imaginations and then reacting in fear to those fears that I connected to my imaginations that were fueled and made into more than the actual events they were based on by my initial fear cycle – thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge up my own fear reactions through imagining and expanding on the event in my mind to make it more than what it actually is and actually represents.  Thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck with myself by connecting fear the initial event, then reacting in fear to my fear, then using this fear to fuel and generate my imagination to thus make the event more than what it really is and represents- and then from there connect more fear and more fear reactions to my fear, and on and on until I am consumed with fear and totally detached from what is actually here and what actually happened in the first place.  From within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger towards the imagined events that occurred within and as my own mind as imaginations and projections that were merely a consequence of the fear cycle that I just outlined.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger to my own imaginations, projections, and my own fear reactions. 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my reactions in anger towards those who I see as ‘falsely accusing me and misrepresenting me’ are also a defense mechanism so that I  can not have to look at myself and instead blame others for what I may in fact be doing.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down and breathe when and as I see myself going into the fear reactions towards both my hearing of what these people have said about me and also to the fear reactions towards my very own back-chat that I have participated in within and as my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become consumed and controlled by the energy of the thoughts as back-chats of these people where I go into internal conversations about how they are ‘wrong’ and how I might eventually be able to ‘get through to them’ in order to prove that I am right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the others observations and accusations of me as ‘wrong’ both factually and morally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself into the polarity of ‘I am right and they are wrong’ thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through this polarity, create friction and conflict within and as myself and thus fuel the energies of fear, anger, resentment, spite, and revenge towards those who have said these things about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear towards the physical application and solution of slowing down, breathing, and stopping my own mind / my back-chat and internal conversations due to my belief that if I were to do so, then I would loose control of the situation and that I would be weak and not standing up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotions of anger, spite, revenge, and being controlling to taking my power back and standing up for myself.

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

Day 242 – Anxiety and Nervousness In Business Transactions, III

When and as I see myself reacting in anxiety, where a destabilizing electrically charged energy erratically rolls around my chest area and then back chat activates like ‘oh shit, what am I going to say’ and I feel all frozen-up, like I cannot speak, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that anxiety serves no purpose whatsoever.  Thus, I commit myself to, if the social situation permits, immediately break the hold the energy has over me by taking 3 to 5 quick and deep breaths in and out through my open mouth and say to myself in a stern, stable, resonating voice ‘I am here’ between each breath- in an effort to break the energetic hold and ground myself here within and as my body.  Once I break the energetic hold, I commit myself to speak self-forgiveness statements in a stable, stern, and resonating voice such as ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anxiety.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pave the way for this anxiety reaction by not being here within and as myself in the past.’ ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this anxiety reaction as if I cannot control it’ – until I am clear and stable and calm once again.

When and as I see myself stepping into the nervousness character where nervousness possesses me and I am not able to communicate at ease in a stable voice with another being, I stop and I breathe.   I see, realize, and understand that the nervousness reaction is here because of lack of self trust in me as the physical, here.  I see, realize, and understand that nervousness is a way for me, as my mind, to handle a situation where I don’t have a pre-programmed personality or character to do this for me.  I see, realize, and understand that nervousness is no solution for my lack of pre-programming, and that the solution is to breathe and ground myself back to here, within and as the physical as me where I speak equal and one with others as me, of no mind.  I see, realize, and understand that nervousness as a solution to times where we are unsure of ourselves seems normal as we have been accustomed to our minds living our lives for us, but that the solution to place me as my directive principle of me where I direct myself as life in every here breath will come about over time through application.  Thus, I see, realize, and understand that the nervousness character will diminish and become less and less the more that I become more and more my directive principle of me here.  I see, realize, and understand that nervousness also comes about due to lack of preparation and thus shows me that I have not prepared in whatever application I react in nervousness to.  Thus, I commit myself to apply myself in my process diligently over time where me, as my directive awareness, increases over time more and more and me as my mind diminishes over time to a point where even if I react initially with nervousness, I can easily identify this, breathe, and bring myself back to here as my directive principle.  I also commit myself to examine all the areas that I react in nervousness to, and to then apply and prepare myself in those areas so that I can be confident in my interaction and application in future events.

When and as I see myself participating in back chat where I am judging the outcome of business transactions as ‘good or bad’ where I place a positive value on my winning the transaction and a negative value my losing the transaction; thus within this, I create a polarity equation where I am hoping and desiring for the good to manifest and fearing the worst to not manifest, I stop and I breathe.  I see, realize, and understand that by doing this I am setting myself up for future anxiety and nervousness reactions where me as my mind literally shut down due to not being able to decide ‘who to be’ in order to get what I am hoping for / desiring and avoid what I am fearing.  I see, realize, and understand that behind all this is a lack of self-trust – where I lack trust in that I can handle whatever happens to me, ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  Thus, because of this lack of self-trust, I rely on hope and fear and there manifested consequences of anxiety and nervousness to direct me and control me, as if this will help me in any way whatsoever.  Thus, I commit myself to speak self-forgiveness and / or delete these judgments, fears, desires, and hopes the moment that I myself stepping into the related backchats, until I am clear.  I commit myself to remind myself that I am here regardless of the outcome and that as the physical and as the breath, I can stand through whatever comes my way, as who I am is not dependent on outward circumstances; but that who I am is constant, the same, and always here as all as one as equal as me.  I commit myself to therefore, realign myself with myself as the physical where I am not dependant on energy to control, direct, or protect me because I see, realize, and understand that the energies of hope, desire, fear, anxiety, and nervousness is an illusion of control.

 

Day 241 -- Anxiety and Nervousness in Business Transactions, II

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the back-chat: 'where do I stand with this being', and 'what does this being think of me', and 'does this being think that I am full of shit' while in business transactions.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a positive value in and towards any type of statement or reaction from the other being that 'seems' to suggest that the other being is seeing me positively - wherein I get all excited and hopeful that things are going well based upon the words and body language of the other being - and I get all depressed, fearful, and worried should the other being not say or do or behave in a way that he / she should be according to expectations that exist within and as pictures, ideas, and constructs within my mind, that would make me feel good about the situation.          

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'hope for the best' and 'fear the worst' within business transactions.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the experience of anxiety as a consequence of hoping for the best and fearing the worst.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within 'hoping for the best and fearing the worst', I am completely abdicating my self-responsibility to be the directive principle of me in and as every breath; and instead abdicate this to the energies of the mind.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that what my mind is doing within the reaction of anxiety, is putting me on pause for a moment until my mind can decide for me who I am going to be in a given situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in nervousness when and as I believe that I have no idea who to be in a given situation.  Within this, I forgive myself to see, realize, and understand that within the belief that 'I have no idea who to be' shows me that my personalities and characters that exist within and as my mind-consciousness system are not diverse enough to cover all potential situations, and it also shows me that I am not living as the directive principle of me, but instead I am relying on the pre-programmed characters and personalities of my mind to live my life for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself - in that I fear that I might say something that might cause someone else to react negatively towards me and thus decide not to do business with me / decide not to give me what I want.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that anxiety and nervousness are a form of prop-up for the manipulation character - where I seek to manipulate others in order to get what I want, need, and desire and when I go into a situation where I am un-prepared or have judged the other being to be superior to me in some way, then I 'freeze' up within the reactions of anxiety and nervousness so that I won't say anything that might jeopardize my chances of manipulating the other being so that I can get what I want, need, and desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am no match for the energetic reactions of anxiety and nervousness because when these energies come on, they come on suddenly and intensely where I can feel their destabilizing affects where there is electrically charged sensations rolling throughout my chest area, my shoulders tighten, my thoughts become hard to articulate, and I find it hard to speak due to fear of all these energies getting in the way of what I want to say - thus, within this experience, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to freeze-up, as this experience is intended to do so, and thus submit to the mind and become and embody that what I fear - the fear of saying the wrong thing, as there is no way that this will not be the case so long as I remain in this anxiety and fear reaction.  Thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take directive control where I prepare myself in advance within my writings, self-commitments, and also within the specific applications, such as doing business transactions with high dollar customers, where I prepare to speak with these beings equal and one to the point where I have and create within and as myself self-confidence - the self-confidence to speak with others as equals and as me, within each breath, where I have already sorted out the best way to handle myself and chosen the best words appropriate for the given situation within the starting point of equality - and instead of doing this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit the energies of anxiety and nervousness to act as a form of protection from perceived harm - when I see, realize, and understand that these reactions offer no protection whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that and to judge that those who make lots of money are 'better' than me, are more sophisticated than me, are more capable than me, are smarter than me, and are thus judging me as inferior because I have less money.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be embarrassed to a certain extent  when conversing with those who have achieved a higher level of success within this economic system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that those who make more money than me are judging me as inferior while I am talking to them, thus creating within and as myself distrust of self and who I am and what I am capable of expressing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to merge the desire and fear characters to my reactions of anxiety and nervousness -where I also fear the worst and desire the best outcome.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the electrical and erratic nature of an anxiety and nervousness reaction is destabilizing to me and my physical body.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the energies of anxiety and nervousness are designed place me in a holding pattern while my mind, as me, seeks the best possible response to avoid the fear of death, the fear of loss, the fear of rejection, and the fear for survival.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if I live here as my directive principle of me in every breath, as the physical, as equal and one with all as me - within the realization that all really is me, of me, as me - as we all are of the same material, we all have the same needs, we all have a mind with various characters and personalities that were given to us as a means to control us, and that beyond this - we all can exist without the mind where there is no judgment, no separation - thus, it matters not what others think of me and how they react, as in the end we are all equal - then I would simply act in each breath in a way that is best for all, that is practical, and anxiety and nervousness would be useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to those who make more money than me, and then judge myself as less-than / inferior to these people and then project that self-judgment on to them within my fear that they are judging me as inferior.  As a consequence of this projection, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself a reaction of nervousness when doing business with these people within the realization that I am nervous because I do not believe that there is a personality or character that I can activate that will be 'worthy' of the other beings 'respect', and that within this I fear - that no matter 'who I am as whatever personality or character I choose to be' that it will be inadequate and that the other being will still see me as 'less than and inferior no matter what' - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in nervousness and then to justify my staying in a reaction of nervousness as a means of self-protection, while communicating with those I am doing business with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying the wrong thing when in business transactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to others judging me as 'not knowing what I am doing in business.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to my survival and thus connect my survival to the acceptance of others in business.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become anxious and nervous while talking business to high dollar customers because if they reject me - I may not be able to survive and also it may finally be proven that I am not fit for survival.  Thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have placed a positive value on the acceptance and approval of high dollar business accounts because I have related this point to my very survival.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the anxiety and nervousness characters that come out as a consequence of my placing such a positive or negative value on the potential outcome of business dealings - where I have separated myself from myself and my self-worth where who I am as self-worth and as a being is dependant on the acceptance of others who can give me money, instead of as it should be - constant, stable, unconditional, as life.

Day 240 – Anxiety and Nervousness In Business Transactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anxiety when in business transactions with those whom have a lot of money or have access to a lot of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be consumed with the energy of anxiety that comes up suddenly in my solar plexus feeling like electrically charged erratically rolling balls beneath my skin, where I freeze-up mentally and go into a loss of words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot stop reacting in anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my reaction in anxiety is showing me that I am unprepared, or am existing in self-doubt, or am relying on the mind to direct me is stead of me living as my directive principle.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I react in anxiety, that my mind is placing me in, like, an energetic holding pattern while it searching for the right personality or character to go into- and thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself up for an anxiety and nervousness reaction by placing a positive value on winning a deal and making money and a negative value on losing a deal and not making any money.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when in business and it is unsure what the out outcome will be, either the positive point of making the deal or the negative point of losing the deal and thus within this I am existing in hope of winning the deal and fear of losing the deal – that within this uncertainty, I am setting myself up for a reaction in anxiety and nervousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a positive value on being accepted by those whom I want to do business with, and place a negative value on the point of being rejected by those people.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when reacting with the energetic / electrical sparks / charges / rolling ball sensations from my chest area when approaching these potential and even existing business relationships that I have placed a positive value upon the point of winning and maintaining their business, to go into the back-chat ‘oh shit, I hope they do and continue to do business with me.’ And ‘I hope my appearance is good.’ And ‘I hope that my words come out right and sound convincing’, ‘what if they don’t like me.’ ‘What if they think I am boring.’’ what if I say something wrong.’, etc.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that reacting with this back-chat only increases the intensity of the anxiety reaction and then also fuels the energies of other emotions and characters to activate along with it such as fear, nervousness, hope, desire, and worry.  Thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am actually increasing the likely-hood of having that what I fear realized – and that is being ‘rejected’ by these people of which I’ve placed a negative value upon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to embody the reactions of anxiety and nervousness as I walk with my mind to search my personalities and characters to see which one I should activate to help ensure that I get that what I placed a positive value on.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am not acting within self-trust of me here as the directive principle of me in each and every breath, but am instead relying upon the memories, characters, personalities, and constructs that exist within my mind to direct me and thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within the point of relying on pre-programmed characters, personalities, etc, that I am thus limited by only being able to walk within memories of the mind as who I am and thus am limiting my self-expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when in an anxiety and / or nervousness reaction, participate in the back-chat while in conversation with the being that I have placed a positive value upon – ‘what if this being does not like what I am saying.’  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this backchat is actually destabilizing me and separating me from here, the physical, the breath, and the being that I am walking with by taking me into my mind where I am searching for the right personal / character to activate in order to get what I want within the self interest of realizing and experiencing that what I placed a positive value upon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having anxiety and nervousness is part of a normal reaction and that because it seems to come up suddenly and possess me, that therefore I cannot do anything about it; instead of realizing that anxiety and nervousness comes up because of how I have created myself within my own participation in my mind in the past in my reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that anxiety comes up when my I, as my mind, do not have a personality or character readily available that I believe would be best to use to interact with another being in order to get something that I want that I have placed a positive value upon through within and as the backchat that I have had in the past in relation to that being, what the being can do for me, and what that being symbolizes to me / means to me based upon how I have defined myself in separation from what is actually here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a negative value on certain things that I have defined as ‘bad’ and a positive value on certain things that I have defined as ‘good’ not realizing that I am accumulating a consequential outflow where I hope and desire for the good to manifest and then fear the that what I have placed a negative value upon / the ‘bad.’  Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this is why anxiety and nervousness is also accompanied by the emotions of fear and or the feelings of desire and hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘choose a personality or character’ to interact with another being from the starting point of ‘hope’ that the personality or character that I choose will bring me that what I desire.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that attaching negative or positive values to the potential outcomes of experiences where I thus desire or fear the outcome of the experience and interaction, I thus create the experience of fear and or desire within and as myself which thus generates the anxiety and nervousness to activate in a way to protect me and help me get that what I desire and avoid that what I fear – thus keeping me locked into the polarity and energies of the mind, and thus separated from what is actually here.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am placing my self trust to within and as my mind, the memories of my mind, and the various characters and personalities that I have constructed within and as my mind, to direct me, instead placing my self trust within me here, as the physical, as the breath – where I simply breathe and act and do that what is practical and best for all in every breath where there is no energy directing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when the anxiety and or nervousness comes on – that when it activates it does so suddenly and also energies and electrical charges come on in my solar plexus and thus this energy feels like I have no other option but to go into it – that this is where I believe that I cannot do anything about it, but succumb to it and follow it to where it might lead me.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can do nothing about my reactions in anxiety and nervousness.

To be continued…

 

 

Day 239 – Anxiety and Nervousness Characters

Looking more closely at the Nervous and Anxiety Characters, I can see that these two are very closely related.  Both characters come with an electrical sensation / charge in the solar plexus / chest area that comes on suddenly, can be very intense, and is destabilizing.  Both characters come with a bit of excitability.  Both characters cause one to have trouble communicating as if one is locked-up to a certain extent.  Both characters are also usually accompanied by the emotions of fear and / or desire.  Both characters tend to be brought about or increased in frequency or strength due to the amount of positively charged thoughts, imaginations, and projections about a desired event or desired outcome of an event, although this is more so with nervousness than anxiety.  Anxiety tends to hit first and suddenly, seemingly for no reason at all; while nervousness usually comes about after an initial anxiety reaction and usually one can see it coming.

The main difference that I see between nervousness and anxiety is that anxiety usually comes first and occurs in situations where one as the mind does not know which pre-programmed script / character / personality would be best to activate for a given situation; so, the mind reacts in anxiety as a way to place the being into an ‘holding’ pattern while the mind decides which characters or personalities to activate for a given situation; in other words, the mind reacts in anxiety so that it can decide who one is going to be in a given situation.  Thus, one can have a brief anxiety reaction that will end once one finds and then activates the characters / personalities / scripts that are ‘best’ for a given situation. 

However, if one as the mind, begins to realize that one does not have a script / character / personality for a given situation, then the nervousness character will activate as the ‘solution’, along with fear or desire, typically.  So then, one tends to be in 3 or 4 energies all at the same time while one walks through the given scenario that activated all of this, such as: Anxiety first, then nervousness and fear; or anxiety, then nervousness, and desire; or anxiety, then nervousness, fear, and desire – all at the same time completely mind-fucking the being.

I used to connect worry with nervousness and anxiety and I can see how worry may feed nervousness, but these three are definitely not connected.  Worry, is like trying to control the future with thinking mixed with fear and or desire, which is different than anxiety and nervousness - even though fear and/or desire are usually mixed with all three of these characters.  However, anxiety and nervousness are like brothers of the same parents: Mr. ‘I don’t know who I should be in this moment & Mrs. I don’t trust myself as who I am in this moment.’ – if you will.

So, I have been told, by many, that I seem nervous at times.  Thus, I would like to look at these characters.  The following situations are when I have had memories of these reactions of anxiety and or nervousness mixed with desire or fear: 

• In business situations, with new or existing, high dollar prospects and deals
• When in the presence of new people, or acquaintances, that I desire something from or have placed myself in an inferiority position with – like they / he / she have money, or looks, or charisma – and I want to be accepted by them within a point of desire and / or fear of rejection.
• When interviewing for a new job, especially high paying job
• When speaking in front of large audiences 

These points listed are outlines of actual memories of situations that I have encountered in the past, but I am keeping them more as outlines because my reactions of anxiety and nervousness are not limited to just the specific instances that I can remember, but are more broad in nature.  Like, I have memories of actual job interviews where I ‘chocked-up’ in anxiety, nervousness, fear, and desire all at once – however, I would assume that I would be like this at other interviews and similar situations in the future – thus I am keeping this broad so that I can look at this system as a whole.  However, in the following self-forgiveness, I may forgive specific memories – it just depends on how it flows out.

Tomorrow, I will do self-forgiveness so that I can open these points up and assist myself to release this anxiety and nervousness; so that I can establish and then replace these reactions with self-trust, with who I am here in every breath – where instead of reacting, I breathe and then express myself as me here as the breath / the physical / in the moment, regardless whether or not I have any pre-programmed script or character or personality.

You see, this is also an interesting point – like, reactions in anxiety and nervousness are also gifts in that they show us that we only trust ourselves as our minds with pre-programmed scripts / characters / personalities and thus have no real self-trust –because if we had real self-trust, then anxiety and nervousness would simply not exist within and as us.  Thus, anxiety and nervousness show us that we are still living in our minds and offer us the opportunity to look at ourselves and step in and stand in those points where we are reacting such.

Day 238 - What is Corporate Social Responsibility, Part 3

So, picking up from the last post where we left off with an article from the CSR-Reporting website (found here: http://csr-reporting.blogspot.co.il/2012/11/false-claims-in-sustainability-reports.html) covering research that revealed a significant difference between claims made in GRI Sustainability Reporting and what actually gets reported (which was unpublished research as of November 17 2012 that was conducted by the Vienna Team in collaboration with Middlesex University London lead by Dr. Sepideh Parsa and Dr. Ian Roper); wherein we can see that the vast majority of corporations are reporting falsehoods, are reporting inaccurately, or claim to be reporting but are not even reporting at all. 

Why so?  Well, I would venture that this would be expected for the following: Regardless of the motive, whether it be ultraistic or self-serving, for a corporation to self-regulate and comply with CSR reporting, the bottom line is that those with a controlling interest in these corporations, the shareholders, are looking for maximum returns on their investments which means that the corporations profit comes first, and that the consequences of the corporate actions come second.  Thus, if it is more profitable to ‘cheat’ on the CSR reporting then that is what will happen. Furthermore, if complying with CSR initiatives threatens the survival of corporations then that would be reason and justification for corporations to not allow any reporting (tell on itself in essence) that would undermine its ability to survive.  Another reason, is that the shareholders are not stakeholders, usually, and thus are not really feeling the consequences of the corporate practices and thus it is easy to turn a blind eye and ignore the inconsistencies in the CSR reporting by the corporations they own. 

So, what we are left here with is an interesting dynamic: and that is the corporations are left with finding the right balance between making their CSR reports, which of course is considered to be a competitive advantage, and also keeping profits up as much as possible in order to appease their shareholders and also ensure their survival and continued existence.  I mean, this is a real test of self honesty even on an individual level, in that would you tell on yourself / disclose your secrets to another if that meant that it may mean that you would loose money, profits, make you less competitive?  So, that balancing point is where the company can be transparent and honest yet still keep profits up within a satisfactory zone all at the same time.  Thus, this means for most companies that they are going to have fudge the numbers to make this work. This is just plain common sense.

So, how can we change the system to ensure that corporations will report accurately and make significant changes to their practices that will benefit all / the stakeholders?  Obviously there needs to be a change in the frame-work of the system because with the way the system is set-up now, there will be no true corporate responsibility taken by corporations as it really is not in their best interest, ultimately, as evidenced by the poor participation in reporting and making real changes thus far.  Thus, the framework of the economic system needs to be adjusted in a way that the corporations still work within self-interest / making profits but yet that self-interest will lead them to make real changes.  The economic system itself must change because the alternative to changing the system and attempting to police or enforce such a code of ethics would literally be impossible on a global scale within the realization that there just is not enough man-power, time, and ways and means to really be able to get inside the corporations and ensure their compliance.  Thus, the compliance must be considered essential to corporations, by corporations, for their survival - just as non-compliance is in essence essential to their survival now – and that will only be achieved by making some adjustments to the economic system. 

Another point to consider, is that within the current economic structure, how can we even trust that CSR / eco-friendly / socially responsible measures taken by environmental groups and NGOs are always working in our / the general populace / the stakeholders, and the earth’s best interest?  There is strong evidence, if one spends any  time researching this point, that the CSR and Green concepts have been used to corner markets, drive commodity prices up, control resources and markets, and pass oppressive laws or push for potentially oppressive laws such as the ‘carbon tax’ scheme / meme.  It can be argued that this CSR movement has been used as a platform to create memes that the populace accepts as accurate and for their good to then lobby for 'eco-friendly' government policies that are really more like ‘Trojan Horses’ that when enforced actually play into the hand of those behind the scenes seeking profit and further oppressing the people.  There is strong evidence that the very corporations themselves use the environmental movement to control prices, markets, and resources.  The oil companies often times fund the very environmental movements that they appear to be in opposition to, as an example. 

So, in sum, CSR and the related green movements are all well and needed, but within the current economic system structure, these initiative and movements are either ineffective or used to manipulate and control markets for the benefits of the shareholders and not the stakeholders.

So, back the question: how can we change our system to ensure that corporations will report accurately and actually make real changes upon themselves within a point of self-regulation?  The answer to this question is not simply in the details, yet it is simple within the point of considering how our economic system is currently structured.  So, there are a couple of points to consider here:

1.  LIG.  A Living Income Guarantee needs to be initiated.  So, I ask the question: Who ultimately is in control of the corporations?  Answer: Those who buy their products and services, within the point that if corporations loose their customer base, they may seize to exist / go out of business.  So, ultimately, who is the corporation appeasing within all of its activities?  The customer.  So, even within the degree of fraud and manipulation in reporting and green movements today, the customer is ultimately in mind.  It’s like an abusive relationship.  If one party in relationship can 'get away' with it, they will, and they will continue to do, so long as the desired relationship stays in tact.  However, once that relationship is threatened, the abuser will change his/her behavior in order to save the relationship, if possible.  And even if that change of behavior is within self-interest, the change will still be made in a way that will benefit all parties if the abusee decides to no longer take the stance as the abusee and force the abuser to change within that stance. 

Thus, how do we get the people to take that stand?  Right now, we as the people / the ‘stakeholders’, are not taking that stand that says 'no you don’t.  You will not abuse the resources and the people for the sake of your own profit.'  And the primary reason is that most people only have enough money to meet basic survival needs as most people are existing in the bottom level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.   However, if people have enough money, they will move beyond survival and then start really looking at how to make themselves and this world a better place. 

You see, right now, most are only able to shop for things based upon price.  It may matter in the back of someone's mind about all the abuses that were required to bring that product to market at that price, but if that is all one is able to afford and that is what one needs - that product will be bought regardless.  You see, corporations have us at our knees right now within the principle of 'beggars cannot be choosers.'  The general populace simply does not have the money to truly vote with their money and thus corporations do not have to really answer to the consumer or the environment because either way, we are still buying from them. 

Thus, a LIG will enable the populace to start voting with their money so long as we are able to structure it in a way that the LIG will lift people enough out of poverty to do so.  The LIG will create a new pool of money found in the common man zone instead of only in the upper echelon of whom primarily are the shareholders of corporations.  The shareholders have so much money that they are disconnected with the realities on the ground and the abuses therein.  Shareholders are concerned with increasing their wealth.  That is why they are shareholders in the first place.  Thus, an LIG will equalize that playing field in giving the common man voting rights with their money and thus lifting them up into a form of ‘shareholder’ as well as their existing status of stakeholder.

2.  Dare I say Nationalization?  Lets call it: Converting Stakeholders (the common man) to Shareholders.  And lets start with nationalization of essential resources and perhaps the energy sector.  Through nationalization, stakeholders, will suddenly become shareholders of the resources that corporations use to bring energy, raw materials such as lumber, food, and water to market for consumption.  That means that wealthy hidden elite will not be in control behind the scenes in a way to increase their profits at the expense of us all.  That also means that people living within the borders of each country will suddenly have the wealth of these resources and thus will be able to sell or trade these natural resources to other countries or corporations.  Once established, we can hold a democratic Internet voting system, in the form of a liquid democracy, accessible to the people / the citizens of certain geographic areas - to vote for how they would like the natural resources to be  handled.

If this were to occur, then corporations would have to change their ways to conform to the laws of the land regarding these resources, because the owners of the resources, the people, will demand it; or these corporations would have to go somewhere else where these nationalizations have not occurred, YET.  Can anyone give me a good reason why 'nationalization' of the resources would be so demonized and how actually benefits from the demonization of the concept of nationalization?

3.  Increase Awareness: This is already happening in the CSR / Green movements.  This needs to continue and then be streamlined into a unified movement that is brought to the  attention of all.  Thus, when people have the money through LIG, and have ownership of the resources through Nationalization - then they will make better decisions / votes as to how to manage this.

Within this public awareness that needs to be increased, as well as we need to de-polarize the movement and bring it into a practical point of consideration where we all as one see, realize, and understand the consequences and implications of our actions within the current state of affairs, within a fact-based platform.   As compared to where we are now, which has this CSR / ECO / Social awareness movement polarized between left and right / liberal vs. conservative, where the left embraces this movement and anything that comes with this movement, even the manipulated aspects of this movement that are contrived by certain groups to corner markets and drive up prices etc., and the right which rejects this movement in its entirety. 

Thus within this polarization, all are consumed with the energy of right verses wrong and not are looking at the practical points that are right here in front of us.  I mean, we do have a garbage patch in the Pacific Ocean that is the size of the United States, don’t we?  Can't we start discussions on these points without getting all polarized into groups based on right vs. wrong?  So, the depolarization of this movement needs to occur so that people can start looking at this practically, and within that we can start really creating solutions that can be implemented through laws or mandates or simply the influence carried out with the populace who now has money through LIG or part ownership of at least the natural resources.

Once this is in place, corporations will have no other choice but to make decisions that are best for all in their practices or else face the prospect of going extinct / out of business.  Let's do this.