Day 246 – Where Am I?

So the question is, where am I most of the time?  Am I being moved by energy even in the most practical of tasks? 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by energy even in the simplest and most practical of tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need energy to move and direct me to do everything and anything at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be pulled like a string attached to my solar plexus, from one task to another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in my mind to such an extent that I have little real-time memory of my physical surrounding, my body, and where I am within and as myself throughout my day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be always switching characters and personalities based upon whom I am talking to, what I am doing, and what I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by the fear of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in getting things done fast and moving between point and A and B fast.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if I were here as the director of me in every breath, that I would have a real-time memory of everything that I do and all the details of the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my ability to truly listen to others because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind experience is me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that grounding myself to be and remain here, as the physical, in every breath, will take application, dedication, and commitment – just like learning anything new such as riding a bike – and that within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that it will take time and commitment to even form the awareness of when I am stepping into my mind and being directed by energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself to such an extent that I am not even aware most of the time that I am being directed and moved by energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify to myself being directed by energy when I am doing so to accomplish practical tasks.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the difference between being directed by energy and being the director of me is that as the director of me, I slow down and breathe and clear any and all energies, desires, fears, worries, impatience, etc, before I move my physical body.  Also within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that as the director of me, where no energy is directing me, I am here and thus able to really see and participate within and as the physical and thus my physical memory of all details physical will be enhanced and thus this will and can act as a reference point to see if and when I am really here as the director of me, when looking back.

When and as I see myself being directed by energy, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to give my directive power away to any form of energy movement, positive, neutral, or negative because I see, realize, and understand that within doing so I am abdicating my directive principle to the energy of the mind and thus am not really living.  Thus, I commit myself to slow down in everything that I do by constantly reminding myself to ask the question ‘am I being directed by energy?  Do I feel any energy right here, right now?’ as much as possible so that I can assist myself to slow down, breathe, stop and energies from moving me, and then step in as the director of me and thus take my power back.