I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
react in anxiety when in business transactions with those whom have a lot of
money or have access to a lot of money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be consumed with the energy of anxiety that comes up suddenly in my solar
plexus feeling like electrically charged erratically rolling balls beneath my
skin, where I freeze-up mentally and go into a loss of words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I cannot stop reacting in anxiety.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that my reaction in anxiety is showing me that I am
unprepared, or am existing in self-doubt, or am relying on the mind to direct
me is stead of me living as my directive principle.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that when I react in anxiety, that my mind is placing
me in, like, an energetic holding pattern while it searching for the right
personality or character to go into- and thus, within this, I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
set myself up for an anxiety and nervousness reaction by placing a positive
value on winning a deal and making money and a negative value on losing a deal
and not making any money. Within this,
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand
that when in business and it is unsure what the out outcome will be, either the
positive point of making the deal or the negative point of losing the deal and
thus within this I am existing in hope of winning the deal and fear of losing
the deal – that within this uncertainty, I am setting myself up for a reaction
in anxiety and nervousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
place a positive value on being accepted by those whom I want to do business
with, and place a negative value on the point of being rejected by those people. Within this, I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to, when reacting with the energetic / electrical
sparks / charges / rolling ball sensations from my chest area when approaching
these potential and even existing business relationships that I have placed a
positive value upon the point of winning and maintaining their business, to go
into the back-chat ‘oh shit, I hope they do and continue to do business with
me.’ And ‘I hope my appearance is good.’ And ‘I hope that my words come out
right and sound convincing’, ‘what if they don’t like me.’ ‘What if they think
I am boring.’’ what if I say something wrong.’, etc. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to
see, realize, and understand that reacting with this back-chat only increases
the intensity of the anxiety reaction and then also fuels the energies of other
emotions and characters to activate along with it such as fear, nervousness,
hope, desire, and worry. Thus, within
this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and
understand that I am actually increasing the likely-hood of having that what I
fear realized – and that is being ‘rejected’ by these people of which I’ve
placed a negative value upon.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
embody the reactions of anxiety and nervousness as I walk with my mind to
search my personalities and characters to see which one I should activate to
help ensure that I get that what I placed a positive value on. Within this, I forgive myself that I have
not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am not acting within
self-trust of me here as the directive principle of me in each and every
breath, but am instead relying upon the memories, characters, personalities, and
constructs that exist within my mind to direct me and thus, I forgive myself
that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within the
point of relying on pre-programmed characters, personalities, etc, that I am
thus limited by only being able to walk within memories of the mind as who I am
and thus am limiting my self-expression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to,
when in an anxiety and / or nervousness reaction, participate in the back-chat
while in conversation with the being that I have placed a positive value upon –
‘what if this being does not like what I am saying.’ Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to
see, realize, and understand that this backchat is actually destabilizing me
and separating me from here, the physical, the breath, and the being that I am
walking with by taking me into my mind where I am searching for the right
personal / character to activate in order to get what I want within the self
interest of realizing and experiencing that what I placed a positive value
upon.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that having anxiety and nervousness is part of a normal reaction and
that because it seems to come up suddenly and possess me, that therefore I
cannot do anything about it; instead of realizing that anxiety and nervousness
comes up because of how I have created myself within my own participation in my
mind in the past in my reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not see, realize, and understand that anxiety comes up when my I, as my mind,
do not have a personality or character readily available that I believe would
be best to use to interact with another being in order to get something that I
want that I have placed a positive value upon through within and as the
backchat that I have had in the past in relation to that being, what the being
can do for me, and what that being symbolizes to me / means to me based upon
how I have defined myself in separation from what is actually here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
place a negative value on certain things that I have defined as ‘bad’ and a
positive value on certain things that I have defined as ‘good’ not realizing
that I am accumulating a consequential outflow where I hope and desire for the
good to manifest and then fear the that what I have placed a negative value
upon / the ‘bad.’ Thus, I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this
is why anxiety and nervousness is also accompanied by the emotions of fear and
or the feelings of desire and hope.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
‘choose a personality or character’ to interact with another being from the starting
point of ‘hope’ that the personality or character that I choose will bring me
that what I desire.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that attaching negative or positive values to the
potential outcomes of experiences where I thus desire or fear the outcome of
the experience and interaction, I thus create the experience of fear and or
desire within and as myself which thus generates the anxiety and nervousness to
activate in a way to protect me and help me get that what I desire and avoid
that what I fear – thus keeping me locked into the polarity and energies of the
mind, and thus separated from what is actually here. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to
see, realize, and understand that I am placing my self trust to within and as
my mind, the memories of my mind, and the various characters and personalities
that I have constructed within and as my mind, to direct me, instead placing my
self trust within me here, as the physical, as the breath – where I simply
breathe and act and do that what is practical and best for all in every breath
where there is no energy directing me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that when the anxiety and or nervousness comes on – that when it
activates it does so suddenly and also energies and electrical charges come on
in my solar plexus and thus this energy feels like I have no other option but
to go into it – that this is where I believe that I cannot do anything about
it, but succumb to it and follow it to where it might lead me. Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe that I can do nothing about my reactions in
anxiety and nervousness.
To be continued…
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