But why do I blame and then get so
upset at others for their 'willful ignorance'? Where have I been
willfully ignorant? Have I not been willfully ignorant towards
myself in taking full self-responsibility to find out just exactly
how I am and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become
as the mind? Have I taken the time to truly consider how the
consequence of my 'willful ignorance' towards myself resulted in my
self-creation as me as mind-consciousness system that requires energy
that is derived from the resourcing of the physical thereby
destroying and breaking down the physical, equal and one with the way
the world works in this existential reality now? Am I not doing the
same thing that I am blaming others for in my 'willful ignorance' and
even 'laziness' to 'lift a finger' or spend the time to get to know
myself and change myself to that what is best for all?
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to blame others 'willful ignorance' for the
condition of this world instead of looking within myself as to where
I am also being willfully ignorant and also thereby equally
responsible for the conditions of this world
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to imagine myself 'proving myself right' to the
others that I have judged as 'willfully ignorant' in separation of
myself. And within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed
myself to see, realize, and understand that by participating in these
judgments and pictures and imaginations that I am creating,
manifesting, and generating an energetic experience that requires
energy which is resourced from the physical, equal and one to the
very destruction of this planet through the current system that
exists as a reflection of what it is that I have accepted and allowed
to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility in stopping my
mind which would be the way in which one really, in-fact, takes
action to stop this current reality from the path of self-destruction
that it is on. And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to pursue a path of self-destruction where I am
destroying and diminishing myself every moment that I miss a breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to hold and express an anger towards others that I
have judged to be 'willful ignorant' of this world and this
existential reality as a point of superiority over them where I see
myself as better than them in a way because of what I know and the
fact that I have at least taken the time to get to know what I know.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to participate in and hold onto these emotions of
anger and frustration towards others whom I have judged to be
'willfully ignorant of this existential reality' as a point of
superiority within the point that I fear aligning myself as equal to
these beings in that in doing so, I may loose my position as the 'one
who knows how things work' or my position as the 'one who knows how
things work' may be diminished or irrelevant and for nothing.
And within this, I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my maintaining a
position of superiority from the point that this is a form of
punishment towards others who have not taken the time to get to know
how this existential reality really works within the justification
that those who remain willfully ignorant are doing so of their 'own'
accord and therefore it is their choice to be either less than or
equal to me as one who knows.
I forgive myself that I have not
accepted and allowed myself to equalize myself with these beings in
that they are in-fact a reflection of me and what it is that I have
accepted and allowed myself to be and become and are 'here' to show
me the consequences of my own refusal to take self-responsibility to
learn and map-out the nature of my own mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to hold within myself a negative energetic
experience towards writing and self-forgiveness, and then further
suppress myself by going into desires to pursue experiences that I
have given a positive charge too, that feel good, and are what I have
defined as 'fun' – And within this, I forgive myself that I have
not allowed myself to see that this is equal and one to those that do
not want to take the time to look at this world and what it has
become for what it is, in-fact, because of 'their' resistance towards
going into the 'negative' energetic experience in doing so, and
choosing to pursue the 'positive', instead.
And thus I forgive myself that I have
not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this anger
and blame that I hold towards others is really pointed at myself to
not have to deal with and take self-responsibility for what it is that I have
accepted and allowed myself to be and become.
When and as I see myself going judging
others as lazy or indifferent and blaming them for the 'woes' of this
world, and then going into confrontations with them personally or
imagining these things within my mind, I stop and I breathe, because
I see, realize, and understand that I too am doing the same thing
within my own laziness and resistance to looking within myself as to
what it is that I have allowed myself to be and become. I also see,
realize, and understand that judging and blaming others is a form of
energy addiction where I am getting a rush off the energetic
experience of participating in the feelings and emotions associated
with the 'conflict' and the holding of judgments of others; and
thereby I am equally to blame for the 'woes' of this world by
separating myself into and as the emotional and energetic experience
of the mind.
And thus,
I commit myself to stopping my
judgments, blame, imaginings of myself proving others wrong, anger
and frustration of others lack of understanding of how this world
works by taking a breath and grounding myself so as to stop my mind
when and as these come up, and if this is not enough, then speaking
self-forgiveness in that moment and then writing about it.
I commit myself to no longer blaming
others for the conditions of this world, but to rather look within
myself for the reasons and answers as to why this world exists the
way it does.
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