Day 389 – Stopping Negative thought patterns and re-establishing my authority.

I have noticed, recently, that I tend to automatically go into negative thought patterns, when I wake up, after having conversations with others, when waiting for the outcome of things, in relation to my partner, in relation to myself compared to others, in relation to money / making money. I will go into these patterns more specifically in future posts, but for now I am just looking at the whole point of these patterns. These patterns are negative, filled with doubt, worry, fear, future projections, pictures, scenes, imaginary futures, regrets, backchats regarding “what if” this happens or that and ultimately based upon the point of loss and who I would be and would be seen by others as if I were to realize these losses in the physical. There is also the point that these patterns give me a since of control / control of the future wherein I fear letting the patterns go / existing without the patterns due to fear of loss of control.

These patterns do not help me at all, and are like automatic – triggered by me reflecting on the past or sometimes seemingly not triggered by anything at all such as when I wake up in the morning to all these negative thought patterns just playing out in my head. These patterns put me in a slight depression and sometimes make me want to curl up in a ball and do nothing at all. I have done self forgiveness on many these patterns, but they still play out although I am now able to identify them faster and stop them, unlike before.

Also, I am starting to realize that I have not been able to completely stop them because I have not been standing as the authority of me here as the physical, when and as I have addressed them before, and instead have been abdicating my authority to my “resonant self / the substance that is self” of which has accepted these patterns as authority because I, in effect, gave my authority away and gave permission for these patterns to exist within and as me because I was not standing as authority in the first place when and as I accepted and allowed these patterns to be patterned into and as my substance self / beingness, and thus my substance self / being-ness self / resonant self is like carrying out orders that I gave it way back in the beginning when I abdicated my authority by not being here standing as authority. So, this point of authority / taking my authority back from my resonant self to my self as me here needs to be addressed as well of which will enable me to really press in and stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow negative thought patterns to dominate my mind for most of the day

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that a huge reason for my not being able to stop these negative patterns is that I gave my authority away, by not standing as my own authority, when and as I accepted and allowed these negative thought patterns to be programmed into me / my physical / my mind in the first place; and that now, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my resonant self, the self that is the substance of which I am composed of, has over-rode my authority and given authority to the actual patterns that I accepted and allowed in the first place and thus when I try to stop, I am basically not taken seriously by my physical and these patterns persist as a consequence.

I commit myself identify, break down, and stop all these negative thought patterns because I see, realize, and understand that existing within and as the energy of the mind is of absolutely no benefit to me and does nothing to protect me.

I commit myself re-establish myself as my own authority here in future writings.