Day 18 – Future Projection

Sometimes, I participate in cycles of future projections where I am imagining the ‘end’ before it’s here, forgetting the practical process that’s required to be walked to handle any particular situation, and comparing my future projections to where I am now in an effort to ‘see’ my way out of a situation that I fear happening to me. 

 

Sometimes, if a greatly fear a certain situation, I become possessed by these future projections to the extent that I literally ‘cannot’ stop them.  When this happens, I am ‘tuned-out’ to my immediate surroundings unable to listen or be ‘here’ with what is going on around me. 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself into the future.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and picture what my future will be like in x amount of days, months, years.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough money and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to project a future, in my mind, where I am able to make ‘ends’ meet in order to comfort myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within my fear of not having enough money, to fear what I say and how I speak to customers in my business dealings because I may say something ‘wrong’ that would cause me to ‘loose’ money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into the future wherein I am wording everything just right so as to win my customers over and increase my income.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into compulsive future projections, when I am in fear of not having enough money and not speaking to customers the best possible way in order to have enough money, wherein I am repeatedly going over ‘scenes’ in my mind where I am doing and saying what is necessary to ensure having enough money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think, and perceive that I cannot stop my mind when I am in fear of not having enough money, or in fear that I may have said something wrong to a customer that could result in my not having enough money; and to within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lost in my mind constantly projecting myself into a future event wherein I am speaking and making things go my way so that I will have enough money.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what I project will happen in my mind, is real and will actually happen as I imagine it.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to remain here in and as breath – but pre-occupy myself within my mind, entering an illusionary world where ‘everything will be better.’

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – instead of directing myself within my physical reality environment, to get things done that I require to do – imagine within my mind that I have already done those things and that I am enjoying the ‘end-result’ – while, in actual fact, I haven’t even started yet.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – instead of directing myself within my physical reality environment to get my self-forgiveness writings done that I require to do – to future project myself within my mind doing these writing and what the writings will be about and within that even become ‘excited’ while, in actual fact, I find a myriad of excuses and justifications to not even start, often times.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use future projections to comfort me when I am afraid of what will or might happen in the future.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use future projections to – in a moment make me feel better, instead of taking responsibility and doing what needs to be done to sort out myself and whatever situation that is dissatisfactory.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my projected/imagined future to my current reality and, within comparison, judge my current reality as ‘worse’ than my projected/imagined future.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in judging my current reality as ‘worse’ than my projected/imagined future – immediately give up and believe that I am unable to change my current position or reality, because it looks like ‘a lot of work’ – giving up on myself before I have even started or given myself a chance.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply sit back, imagining how I would like things to be, waiting for someone else to come and ‘give it’ to me – instead of taking responsibility for myself, my experience and my environment – and moving myself to change myself and my world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to reach or attain ‘enlightenment’ or ‘Christ-consciousness’ which is but mind consciousness manifestations; and within that I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that who I am is here, in oneness and equality as the breath, as the living word.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit back and wait for something to happen to me, or to someone to come and ‘save’ me and rescue me, while I project out there, imagining what could be – making myself more miserable and more depressed – instead of standing up within me, within and as oneness and equality as myself, in self-honesty in directing me and my world accordingly, because I see, realize and understand that no one is going to come and ‘save’ me.

 

When and as I see myself going into future projections in regards to work, ‘relationships’, money, or any other reason, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to ‘future project’, beyond what may be necessary as a practical tool, because I see, realize, and understand that by my participating in future projections I am not living as life – as the breath, but I am lost in my mind.  Instead of participating in ‘future projections’ I walk moment to moment, only here with what is here in my direct moment in my reality, day to day– and simply just don’t participate in future projections and unnecessary cycling into time-loops that’ll just prolong my process.

 

When and as I see myself going into imaginings of ‘going there’, of delusions of ‘going there’ or ‘getting somewhere’ or ‘reaching something’ or ‘attaining something’ or ‘discovering something’, ‘or solving a problem having to do with relationships or money or any reason that ‘threatens’ my survival’ I stop and breath.  I remain here as breath; I stop the mind through self-forgiveness; I live self-honesty in the moment, and I live words as me as the expression of me as the living word.