Day 19 – Procrastination

I oftentimes am faced with a task whether it is at work, or at home, or with my writings in self-forgiveness that I simply do not want to do when the time comes.  I put things off until I ‘have to’ do them because often-times I perceive these tasks as interfering with my ability to ‘live life my way’ and ‘have fun’ and also because I resent ‘having’ to do things when I do not feel like doing them.  I even get a little angry if pressed to do a task that I don’t feel like doing.

 

What I have failed to realize is that procrastination is a state and a trait of the mind from the perspective of not taking action immediately in the moment when the moment arrives of something that is required to be done or give direction to - which assists me to live in the past and not in the moment here as breath because when I procrastinate I am always living with that task that needs to be done moment to moment instead of just doing it and moving on to the next moment clear.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when something is asked of me to be done or something is required of me to be done within a moment – say: “nay, I’ll do it later, I don’t want to do it now’ – instead of moving myself to do it in the here moment.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be trapped within the ‘now’ of consciousness by not doing what is required of me to be done in a moment, thereby accumulating ‘unfulfilled’ moments within myself – whereby I am literally still trapped in those moments – and thus, of the past.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to walk as breath, wherein I, in every moment, direct myself within what is here and what is required to be done – in the moment, immediately.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate constantly and continuously as regards to writing self-forgiveness and taking responsibility to stop my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that procrastination is a state and a trait of the mind from the perspective of not taking action immediately in the moment when the moment arrives of something that is required to be done or give direction to. And within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that procrastination assists the mind consciousness system to– remain in the ‘now’ of the unified consciousness field because it assists and supports the mind consciousness system in remaining in the past.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when procrastination starts becoming a habit of behavior – wherein a moment is here to be given direction to immediately, to instantaneously act, to ‘fulfill’ this moment so that I am able to continue to the next moment, empty and clear for the next ‘placement’ of movement and direction in my world to step forth – I am taking past moments and placing them into my current moment and therefore existing in the past, which is referred to as the ‘now of consciousness’.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest a habitual behavior of laziness through constantly and continuously procrastinating – putting things off for the future – creating and manifesting the feeling of laziness as a drug in my mind, to which I’ve become addicted.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the ‘feeling’ derived from laziness to my definition of ‘happiness and fulfillment’ and ‘living life’; and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that I am ‘living life’ when I am able to ‘do things my way and on my time’ not realizing that I am just addicted to the feeling of being lazy and procrastinating, and therefor just fucking with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself see, realize, and understand that when procrastination becomes a habit – where I constantly, continually always procrastinate – what happens within the development of me as procrastination is that a relationship formation is designed within and as my mind, as a habit; and this habit infuses into my human physical body, which designs the feeling of laziness.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that laziness is a feeling coming from the source construct, design, habit and behavior of procrastination.  Within this realization, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that laziness is therefore a drug of the mind, the consequential outflow of procrastination.

 

Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate instead of applying self-discipline, self-will and self-motivation – and direct every moment, in the moment, as me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when asked in a moment to do a certain task, become irritated, angry, etc., and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this reaction is an effectual side-effect of laziness, which comes from the source point as procrastination.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become addicted to the feeling of laziness as a drug in my mind – whereby I have come to believe that I am unable to move and direct myself in my world – completely accepting myself as the self-definition of ‘I am a lazy person’ – through which I limit myself to the utmost degree.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to laziness and the feeling of laziness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘fulfilled’ according to my ability to put things off that I need to do in order to participate in activities that are more fun in the moment and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate and manifest myself as ‘lazy’.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to do anything, unless I can see an unpleasant consequence if I am not to do what I require to do – in the near future.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in future projections as a way to handle things that I ‘fear’ may result in an unpleasant consequence if I am not able to do what I require to do – in the near future, as opposed to walking what is required to be done breath by breath in every here moment.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally move myself in every moment – but instead, put things off to a later moment, until I am almost too late and see that if I don’t quickly do what I’m supposed to do, I’ll get into trouble.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put things off that I need to do at work because I have defined these things as boring or tedious or repetitive in which I derive little pleasure not realizing that I am secretly desiring the feeling derived for laziness; and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as lazy at work.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts that ‘I don’t feel like doing it right now’, ‘nah, I’ll do it later’, ‘ah, can’t I do it later, I don’t want to do it now’ when faced with a task that requires action and within that I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that these are the words of the drug of the mind as the manifestation of the being of laziness.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the threat and anticipation of trouble to move me instead of me moving myself as me.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought and perceived threat of not making my process and therefore ceasing to exit to move me in regards to my process of self-forgiveness instead of me moving myself as me.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing punishment and reward to exist as the two motivators in my world, in myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only do something if I will be rewarded for it, or if not doing it will cause me to experience punishment.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to discipline myself within moving and directing myself in every here moment – but instead, allow myself to ‘slack’ and ‘slip’ into laziness.

 

I forgive myself for not applying self-will in every moment, where I will myself to live as me in self-movement, self-direction, self-responsibility and self-honesty in every here moment.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to apply self-will when there is a task at hand, to will myself in walking through the resistance and getting it done – but instead, allow myself to use excuses and justifications to make me believe that it is ‘okay’ to procrastinate and be lazy.

 

When and as I see myself going into procrastination and laziness, I stop and I breathe.  Instead of putting a task off and therefore giving up my ‘here’ moment and living in the past, when something arrives in my moment that needs to be done, I give it attention and direction immediately, thus, remaining here as who I am in every moment of every breath.  I do not accept and allow myself to life in the ‘now’ of consciousness/the past by putting things off until another time.

 

When and as I see myself going into excuses and justifications to not get a specific task done in the moment it needs to be done, I stop and I breathe.  I recognize excuses and justifications such as “I don’t feel like it right now” or ‘I’ll do it later’ or ‘I don’t want to do it now’ and any emotions of anger or frustration or any desire to experience the feeling/drug of laziness that I have defined as ‘living life’ and ‘being happy’ as flag-points that indicate accepted and allowed procrastination and laziness. 

 

When and as I see myself only being motivated to do something for fear of punishment or desire for reward, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to be motivated by conditions outside of myself but rather I get done what needs to be done in any given moment as a point of self-direction and self-discipline and as an expression of life in equality and oneness as the breath because I see, realize, and understand that my only motivation is to remain here as the breath in every moment which only exists as my reality when I am getting things done in the moment that they require to be done.

 

When and as I see myself going into the emotion laziness I stop and I breathe.  I will myself into self-direction/self-discipline and say ‘yes’ and stand up and you go do what is required to be done, right here in the moment – and I walk through that resistance, that drug of the mind as the addiction that has become me. And then I sit back, and then it is done. And then I continue as the moment that is me.