Day 44 – What is the Bid Deal with Writing?

Ok, so I have done a ton of self-forgivness on writing of which has actually been quite successful as I do not have much resistance to writing. In fact, I like writing, I look forward to writing, and every day I think of something that I need to write about with full intent to write about it. But I dont write it out. I do, however, practice verbal self-forgivness almost every day while driving and also breathing and also I pay attention to myself and make (mental) notes of all the areas that I still stand in separation from what is here.  

I drive for up to 3 hours a day because of my job, and so therefore, I practice verbal self-forgiveness quite extensively. I have been making progress even with this as I am basically talking myself out of all my 'faults' while driving around town (lol). The progress that I have made can be measured. It is real. But I still am not writing consistently, and I do realize that writing consistently is the only way to really transcend my mind as the verbal stuff is only so effective.

So, I know what I need to do, yet I dont do it. So, what gives? I am thinking that at this time, it is TIME. I was pushing for 6 hours of sleep per night – I even 'stole' someones else's self-forgiveness on this (lol) and after so many weeks I just began to be slightly tired all the time. Then, my DIP assignment was too difficult at the time for me to deal with and the combination of being tired from only sleeping 6 hours of sleep per night and also the magnitude of this process just busted my whole focus and I just 'collapsed' from all the 'pressure'. I stopped writing and went back to 8 hours of sleep per night.

I work long hours. I come home and have kids and household responsibilities to take care of. Sometimes, I work from when I wake up until I go to be late at night. Sometimes I do this for days on end. Unless I am sleeping 6 hours per night without any fatigue, I dont think I can do this and write consistently. The key is sleep. 

Yet, I have all these other issues that I would like to write about and I am afraid of addressing sleep because I dont 'believe' that I can really overcome this. So, I just dont know where to begin – should I start with sleep? Should I start with some other issues? Can I start writing about other issues if I cannot do it everyday because I often work almost THE WHOLE DAY? 

I also like to read about current affairs. I would like to write about these issues too, but I dont have time (lol). I also have started playing classical music again on the piano. I was once very serious about this years ago and have since forgotten about this until about a year ago. Now this is a rekindled passion of mine that I like to spent time on. Yet, maybe I should just write and not play so much. I dont watch TV but just a little. Probably a few hours per week. And outside of these hobbies, I am really just working or doing things I need to do at home.

So, thats where I am. I will pick up on this tomorrow (? lol, as if.)