Day 344 – Comparing myself with others

I have noticed that when I encounter people that I don’t know, like throughout my day, whether I am introduced to them or not, I tend to make judgments and comparisons to them as if in a constant form of competition where I am making myself better and others less.  This goes on briefly, and then I stop and smile and suppress these thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always be in a competition with others where I judge how they walk, how they dress, how they move their bodies, how they talk, and the things that they say and do all in comparison to me, the picture of me in my mind, and to arbitrary standards that I created within and as my own mind where through this I make judgments that wind up making me feel better about myself or insecure about myself while in other’s presence depending on how these comparisons and judgments panned out.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that comparing myself to others and then making judgments / judging them as more than or less than me or good or bad dressers, or talkers, or lookers, etc., is all just a competition that I create within and as myself my mind to make myself feel better myself and then feel more fit to survive, which is not real equal and one living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the way people walk wherein I judge if people walk the right way or the wrong way, especially males within the point of competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be competing with males constantly by judging each males level of physical fitness, the way the walk, their overall body shape, the things they say, the amount of money they make, the type of women they date, if they date – all in comparison to me and my own assessment of myself in these areas – wherein though comparison and judgment, if I am equal to or greater within my mind, I feel confident and secure in their presence and if I am less than I feel insecure and nervous in their presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a constant state of competition wherein I am comparing myself to others, especially males, and then judging them in comparison to me and arbitrary standards that I created within and as myself in my mind in separation from what is physically here and actually real.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that we are all equal in that we are all physical beings with varying shapes and ways about us that do not change the fact that we are all equal within the point that we are all of the same material, substance / physicality, regardless of our apparent differences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fend for my survival and justify my existence through competition where I compare myself to others and make judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that competing for survival is of separation and of the mind and not equal on one physical living.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I judge others, I am actually judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow males who enter my presence to act as a trigger for me to go into the preprogrammed backchat pattern of comparison and judgment all within the point of competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my personalities and physical behaviors while in the presence of those whom I have made comparisons and judgments of depending on how I judged them.

When and as I see myself going into a comparison and making judgments of others within the backchat of my mind, I stop, I breathe, and I delete.  I do not accept and allow myself to compare myself and judge others for any reason whatsoever and as a point of survival and competition because I see, realize, and understand that these judgments and comparisons are not real, create separation within the point that we are all actually equal and one as the physical, and that it is not necessary for my survival.  I thus commit myself to direct myself to align myself within and as the breath – where I breath and thus stop and delete this backchat while / when and as it comes up.  I commit myself to remind myself that I am here, I am physical and so is everyone else thus we are all equal and one and that judgments and comparisons only exist within and as my mind.  I commit myself to remind myself that I do not need to be more superior in order to survive – that what I need to do is seek to understand others and to move myself within what is best for all, treat everyone equally, and be one and the same no matter who I am talking to or interacting with.