Day 400 – Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Its been a few weeks since I have posted any writings. I've been busy with holidays, vacations, job interviews, and now it seems that I am just not quite disciplined enough to make a little time to keep up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses and justifications as to why I cannot write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my holiday schedule to bleed into inconsistencies with my other commitments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take the self-responsibility to get back into my regular schedule promptly so that I can apply myself within my commitment to write my process on a daily or almost daily basis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the time that has passed in posting writings to be a mounting resistance to making new writings within the point that the longer I go without writing the harder it is to get back into the discipline of writing. Within this, I forgive myself that I have ignored the realization that I have made in the past that: to stop the mind, one must act within an almost daily discipline of self-forgiveness, especially in written form, on order to diminish the mind and increase self's being-ness expression. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have also ignored the realization that the longer I go without the discipline of daily self forgiveness, the more and more the mind will re-substantiate itself and draw me back into within and as it and thus the more and more I loose myself back into the mind and the more and more difficult it thus becomes to get back into writing out my process of stopping the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not writing because of “not having enough time”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not writing self forgiveness because “I have nothing to write about in the moment” and then react to that thought with resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the energetic experience of resistance to writing process because it is “too difficult / too time-consuming / I cannot think of anything to write about” when I see, realize, and understand that these are all justifications of the mind to keep my trapped in the mind.

When and as I see myself going into resistance to writing, for any justification whatsoever, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to go into and be directed by the energy of resistance because I see, realize, and understand that within this I am not really living nor am I directing myself, but my mind is living for me. Thus, I commit myself to remind myself of this immediately when and as resistance comes up, then from there I commit myself to breathe slowly the 4 count breath until I am clear and stable and not being directed by any energies. From here, I commit myself to assess my time and apply myself to writing if it is a practical option, such as having at least 20 minutes and a quite environment – if those 2 things exist, I commit myself to remind myself that I do have the time and thus I commit myself to apply myself to sit down and write. I commit myself to also get back into my regular schedule where I write in the early mornings, when I am most clear, have most quite, and the most time. I commit myself to achieve this by going back to bed at my regular hour, around 9pm, so that I can wake up early and take care of my ultimate responsibility of stopping my mind and living for real as the physical of life.