Monday, February 1, 2016

Day 401 – No one can hurt you / Trust & Respect

Yes, others can physically hurt you, but emotionally, that is up to you. I've been projecting a lot of blame recently believing that others have hurt me or wronged me. Other's have wronged me by breaking a “sacred” trust. I say “sacred” because this is that trust that we are “supposed” to be able to have for one another, especially when we're in committed relationships. But this trust, is more like an ego charging system; wherein, we are just expecting others to respect us and when that dose not happen, or seem to happen, we blame and get angry and feel betrayed. When if fact, we are all just a bunch of mind possessed humans who actaully have no idea what trust and respect for one another and for life, actaully is.

As it is lived now, trust is just based upon ideas and expectations and ego / self-definitions that we are protecting through this thing that we call trust. And then when the trust is “broken” we feel “hurt” - like “you hurt me! You broke my trust!” which is really like saying “you did not behave that way that I expected you to behave based on ideas and beliefs that I hold within and as myself, and now I am hurt which means that you OWE me, because YOU caused MY pain.”

Right? Isn't this how it goes? Like, you broke my trust and thus hurt me and now you must pay and make it up to me so that, so that what?? So, that I can feel better about myself again (positive energy returned!)! Right, so I feel bad now because you disrespected me and broke my trust; and thus I am hurt and now you owe me so that I can feel good about myself again. This the foundation of trust in this mind-virtual reality that we experience ourselves in. This is what trust is used for – it is used for the preservation of the ego and our self-definitions and also it is used to get what we want and preserve what we want so that we don't loose anything. In other-words, trust is used for our own self interest of ego preservation and ego magnification. Thus, trust is just another abusive word as it is lived and experienced in our society right now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in trust or that trust exists or that trust is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others can break my trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use trust to try to control others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ideas, beliefs, and expectations within and as my mind based on memories, TV shows, and ideas about life and reality that I grew up with about how people should behave around me when in relations with me; and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my myself to believe that someone has broken my trust when and as I do not see them living up to these expectations, ideas, and beliefs about how they should behave. Within this point of “broken trust”, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then believe that my trust has been “broken”, that I have been “disrespected” and then use this to justify reacting in blame and anger towards the being whom “broke” my trust and thus “hurt” me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be emotionally “hurt”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of being emotionally “hurt” as a means of self-manipulation to justify acting out, becoming angry, taking revenge, and acting in any type of emotion or physical action that gives me the experience of feeling good again after feeling bad because of how I reacted to the point of having someone “break” my trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to turn the point of trust into a polarity game, wherein when and as everyone behaves as expected based on ideas and beliefs, I feel good / respected; but when and as others behave “out of character” and “violate” my boundaries, I feel disrespected and as if my trust has been broken and then I feel negative / bad; and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then become mind possessed with desire to act out or do something / say something that will make the others feel less than so that I can feel good again.




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