Day 36 – Reptilians Day 150 “Its Time to Change” Vlog review

I was listening to ‘Reptilians Day 150 ‘It’s Time to Change’ Vlog and I was thinking ‘OMG, Anu really is God!  He knows my exact thoughts – HOLY SHIT’ (LOL).  No seriously, the resistance to change that Anu outlined is very similar to what goes on in my head, so I thought I would wright about this.

 

So, a couple of weeks ago I got super busy at work.  I was working until 10 pm at night and then I used this as an excuse to go into the energetic mind possession of ‘I am too worn-out to write’, and ‘I am too tired to write’ and ‘I need a break’. 

 

I thought that I would get back on track as soon as work went back to normal.  But noooo.   This is not what happened.  Instead I continued on in this mind-possession character of resistance to writing and application for almost 2 weeks. 

 

The ‘It’s Time to Change’ video brought up a lot of cool points though.  Points that I have been aware of for quite some time now, and that why it is even more crucial here.   It shows that I have been putting off daily application for years now, even, with full knowledge of what I am doing, yet doing it anyway- because why? 

 

Because I accept and allow myself to participate in the thoughts, feelings, emotions that are associated with my own self-created resistance to writing.  I do this because it feels good to resist writing and my daily application.  I do this because it is easier than simply applying myself and changing.  I do this because I have told myself that it is too hard to change, and that I don’t have to change.  I resist writing because I am too tired, too worn-out, too bored and I need energy and stimulation – the energy and stimulation that goes with my participation in thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are associated with the simple resistance too writing and also the other activities that I choose to do instead of writing and my daily application.

And this goes beyond just writing, it goes into not standing and changing in those critical moments when I should and need to stand and act as all as one as equal and breathe.

In those moments, more times than not, I give in to my self-created resistances, and then as a result I time-loop over and over again never really in-fact changing.

 

Someone pointed out, in a previous analogy that I wrote about where I mentioned that stopping the mind is like a leaking boat where as soon as one hole is plugged, another springs up – she pointed out that the problem is not the holes that spring up, it is the fact that one does not simply move to the next hole and plug it up too.  So, all these excuses, reasons, rationales, too never really in-fact change, too avoid writing and applying myself in those critical moments to in-fact change and breathe and be here – they are those holes that keep springing up, and those are the holes that I need to keep plugging – not judging the holes and getting angry and frustrated at them and giving into them, but just simply breathing and moving to the next one and plugging it through writing, self-forgiveness, corrective application and breathing – breathing in every moment and never again accepting and allowing resistance to these holes to act as a reason to let the water back in and the boat sink.

 

Thus I commit myself stopping my participation in all thoughts, feelings, emotions, and resistances to writing and to all points that I have thus identified that require corrective application , and to breathe through them and stop myself immediately and then move and direct myself to the course of action that is best for all at all times.