Day 37 – Falling for Boredom

Throughout my day, when things slow down, I fall into a state of boredom as if I am looking for a source of energy to bring stimulation as if I cannot just be here as if being here is not enough.

 

For instance, while working so long as I am busy, I do not have this experience (usually), and then as soon as I sense that work is wrapping-up I begin to feel bored.  The I begin to consider things that I could do that could ‘stimulate’ me because I just can’t be here. 

 

It’s like I fear being here, just being here and therefore I seek to do something or participate in something to distract me or to bring stimulation to me. 

 

A lot of times,  I give-in at the last minute and participate in energy/mind fulfilling distractions because I just cannot bear it any longer just being here or just with the thought that I have nothing to do that is exciting. 

 

So, I then even begin going through all kinds of potential activities that can be exciting or stimulating that can pull me out of my boring just simply existing state.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that ‘I cannot simply just exist here with nothing to do’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that ‘I will be bored if I cannot find something to do that is exciting and fun’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define certain activities as exciting.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define certain activities as fun.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out only activities that I have defined as fun and exciting because I fear being bored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being bored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that ‘I am bored’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be bored.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that boredom exists within and as the mind and is not of life.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am only ‘bored’ if I participate in the self-created belief that I am bored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed participate in the thought that I have to be ‘stimulated’ with something that I have defined as exciting in order to not be bored instead of realizing that boredom only exists within and as my experience because I participate in thoughts that I am bored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the fear to the thought that ‘I am bored’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bored and to believe that I feel bored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the emotional experience of boredom instead of remaining here and just breathing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that ‘if I do not do something exciting or something that I like to do’, then I will be bored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having anything to do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear just simply being here doing what is practically needed and required in my daily routine.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my daily routine as boring.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the mind construct of boredom.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand and breathe and be here in every moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that believing that I am bored just being here is the negative polarity condition of desiring something outside of myself and therefore is an act of separation, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire things outside of myself to fulfill my boredom.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that believing that I am bored shows me that I am not whole and complete within and as myself and is an act of separation.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am all that exists and that I need nothing outside of myself to be complete because I already am complete.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am missing out on something.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always be seeking energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the energetic experience of boredom

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of boredom.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always be seeking energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that energy always runs out and then one is left with nothing but the feeling of boredom to drive one to then seek more energy for the next high.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get high on stimulation of any sort because I have participated in the emotional experience of boredom.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend time actually trying to think of something cool to do because I am participating in thought that I am bored and need something cool to do.