Day 205 - SF on the need to be seen by others as 'right'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen by others as 'right'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the desire to be seen as 'right' by others.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this desire exists, within and as me, because I fear that others may see me as unfit for survival within and as this system within the point that 'if I am wrong about something then that reflects on me an inability to think / use logic / read my environment - thus I must be unfit for survival and inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and equate being 'right' with being able to survive.   Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my survival depends on others seeing me as 'right' regardless of whether or not I am actually right or not.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that being

'right' about something is not the issue and that what is important is that I am always able to see things for what they are, in the physical mathematical reality of what is actually here; Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live the realization that the only way to be 'right' is to be able to always be learning and making adjustments to my 'thinking' as I continue to learn how to be 'right' within the point of always expanding my awareness of how things actually are and work.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that judging myself as 'right' or 'wrong' is of ego and is a survival point of the mind and not actually real and that what is real is what is actually here and what is here can only be observed and assessed within and as my current ability to be self honest.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that no one is really looking at things based on facts of what is actually here, but rather we are looking at things and coming to conclusions based upon how these conclusions make us feel.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that one's position on a particular topic reveals one's issues existent within self and have actually very little to do with what the 'facts' actually are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my personal self-value to my ability to be right and be seen as right by others - where I see myself as 'less-than / inferior to others when I am 'proven' wrong, either in-fact or just in the eyes of others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to project my own self judgment onto others within the point that I fear that they see me as wrong and thus inferior / unfit to survive, when it is really I who judged myself so.  And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become trapped in a battle / argument based on my desire to gain some form of external recognition from others that I at least 'may' be right so that I can alleviate the fear experience of being seen as wrong of which I have projected my own self judgments onto others as if they are judging me as such when it is really I who is doing this.

To be continued