Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Day 265 – Who I Was from the Beginning, I


After listening to the ‘History of the Universe’ as well as many of the Soul of Money Interviews on Eqafe Interviews:

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have created everything that is here, indirectly and directly, through who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a direct result of my starting point.  Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a starting point of self-interest where I consider only myself, but yet look outside myself for all the ‘answers.’ 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the simple point that this, as in all of existence as it exists right now, is I.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look outside of myself for all the answers to what, how, and why we are here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame on others, that represents points in this world as it exists right now, for what is here; when I see, realize, and understand that I am responsible for everything that is here as it exists right now.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that everything that exists here right now, all the abuses in their exact manifestation, are showing me the truth of who I really am and have allowed myself to be and become through my starting point of self interested and spite, where I seek my own self-interest in spite of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conveniently forget how I in-fact, in-directly for the most part, created everything that is here as an expression / reflection of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, within and as myself, over billions of years.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have, in-fact, been here the whole time, recycled life after life as an interdimensional being at first, and then after my ‘enslavement’ into this physical body, life after life here on earth – with no memory of my previous lives.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the ultimate consequences of my living out my starting point of self-interest in spite of others and the effects / consequences of my actions on others – has brought me to this point here, where I have been captured and placed in a physical body and enslaved to a mind consciousness system by others beings who were doing the exact same thing as I am doing – where they enslaved me for their own self-interest in-spite of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that acting in self-interest, where what is best for all is not considered, in spite of everyone else, creates energy as a consequence, both positive and negative energy.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this energy that I created indirectly through my own self interest, not considering others and also looking outside of myself for all the ‘answers’, eventually overtime evolved into consciousness and then the mind which eventually trapped within and as the very energy that I created in separation of myself as the source of that energy.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to consider the point that everything that is here, in physical form, is of the same substance, ultimately.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that because everything is the same thing, which is substance, then everything is in fact equal, just in different forms and expressions. 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my original starting point of self-expression was just a simple awareness of myself as substance, which is the ‘matter’ of everything that is physically here, both dimensionally and inter-dimensionally.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this awareness preceded the mind, and that life thus was already here long before the mind.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I, as substance of life, naively interpreted what I experienced as something separate from me, and then wondered at it not realizing that it was me in a different form, as substance of life.  From here, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an experience of wonder and awe at myself as substance and then from there, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be focused on my experience of myself in relationship to the other forms that I came across in my interdimensional existence, never realizing or considering that everything was me in the first place.   Through this ‘awe’, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop within and as myself the belief that there must be something more out there – never considering and never realizing that everything that exists is of the same substance of life and thus is actually me in a different form and expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be operating from the same starting point now, in my physical body, mind-consciousness, enslavement – where I am still doing the same thing that I was doing way back in the beginning.

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