Day 287 – Self Trust, part 2

So, to sum up the last writing, perhaps I don’t trust myself to be able to stand and direct what comes my way, and thus this lack of self trust triggers the coping mechanisms of fear, anxiety, worry, and nervousness to come to my rescue as my security blanket – wherein I fear not having my blanket.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in circumstances, events, and people all outside of myself, where I hope that things will work out and incessantly think of ways that I might be able to bend my reality into something that would be best for me, through the mind solution of worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the solution of hope, where I hope for the best and despair the worst.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the negative energies of despair and dread, where I dread and despair the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to the future and what the future might hold.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I cannot control the future no matter how much I worry about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to incessantly worry about the future and about the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condemn myself over the past and things that I have said and done in the past that may come back to bite me in the ass.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that part of the reason that I fret over the past, and the way that I conducted myself in the past, is because I was not here breathing in the past where I move myself as my own directive awareness free of any mind energy.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I accept and allow myself to be moved by energy, that as a consequence of this I am not here making self-directive decisions that are best for all.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if I were here, slowing down, moving myself from the starting point of me here as the physical and the breath, that I would always be moving myself to do what is best for all and most practical and thus would have very little to worry about.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that worry indicates to me that I have not been breathing and self-directing.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that self-trust is built breath-by-breath with me here in every breath – this is where self trust starts – where I trust myself because I have always been here in every breath, thus I can trust myself.

To be continued….