Friday, June 26, 2015

Day 342 – Time, precious time!

Image result for time clockThere is only so much time available.  It seems like there is plenty of time when you are young, but in-fact, every moment is a step into the future until one day you are old and then dead.  So, every moment needs to count.  Yet, there are so many moments that I accept and allow to ‘slip’ by due to distraction.  Then those moments accumulate in my memory banks wherein I know that I wasted some time of which then creates like hastiness and also stress within the time that I do have.  Then when someone or something unexpectedly gets in the way of / prevents me from using what time I have left effectively, I lash out and blame and get frustrated and angry – when the problem the whole time was me and who I am in every moment of breath within regards to how I use my time.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I only have so much time until my time is up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time by not staying focused, here within and as the breath, until I finish a task; but instead I accept and allow little distractions here and there to pull me away to obtain mini jolts of entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what the tasks, chores, and work, that I have to do by defining it as boring, tedious, an unfulfilling instead realizing that taking self responsibility to direct myself to do what is best for all, practical, and required to survive in every moment of breath is how I align myself to be equal and one here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat, while doing chores and work, like “I am bored”, “I need something more”, “I need a break”, and then within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe this backchat is me and then actually use it a justification to stop what I am doing and waste time.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow these little time wasting events that I accept and allow throughout my day and days to accumulate as memories within and as me to a point where I start to feel stressed out about the remaining time that I have left to get what I have to get done, done.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reach a breaking point where I feel disempowered within the point of not having enough time and also not being in control of my time, wherein whatever being or thing gets in the way of my remaining time, I lash out at in frustration, blame, and anger which creates the illusion of feeling like I am now empowered and taking control of my time.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to step in as the director of me in every breath where I direct myself to work within and as complete focus where I complete a task or work from start to finish with no self-induced disruptions whatsoever, wherein I embody the word focus as myself where I complete tasks and work from start to finish with no self-induced distractions and breaks accept only what is practical and necessary, like going to the bathroom – wherein I maximize my effectiveness in relation to my time – wherein I get the most out of my time and become as effective as possible.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I project blame and become frustrated and angry with others or things that get in my way from completing tasks and work – that really I am hiding from myself and the fact that I waste time and that I would not have such pent up emotional energy in the first place, wherein I am in a constant state of stress in relation to my time, if I were directing myself to be as effective as possible in the first place within regards to my time.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as back-chat comes up, while doing tasks and work, like “this is boring”,” I need a break” – that this is designed so that my mind can find ways to generate energy for its own survival and that this kicks in full-force when and as I haven’t been stimulating my mind enough and that this has nothing to do with who I am here as the physical / as the breath and thus this back-chat only serves to keep me trapped into the mind and thus rendered un-effective and enslaved to energy.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to step in and just say “no.  I am here!  I am the physical and I do not need anything else to make myself feel better or more excited or like I am living” – because I am already here and complete and one within and as who I really am as the physical – and thus, living for the experience of feeling like I am living is just a total mind fuck and self-manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that moving myself / directing myself within what is best for all, what is most practical within the point of taking the utmost self-responsibility to live in cleanliness, work diligently, take care of people around me, correct myself within my writings, and make as much money as possible within this current economic system within the point of playing by the rules and doing no harm – is the very definition of living self-honesty here as the physical and the breath and within this I am living my full potential and creating a world that is best for all, and thus within this, there really isn’t anything “more” that I need and when and as I feel this way, it is not real, it is just energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become restless, where I fidget around a bit, when and as I have been applying myself within being as effective as possible within the work and chores that I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always walk in a state of stress and tension because of memories of me not being self-directive and thus the most effective with my time – thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself a perpetual state of subtle tension, stress, and haste – because I feel and believe that I do not have enough time – of which is a condition that I created through not spending my time as effectively as possible.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have all the time that I need so long as I walk and align myself within and as the physical and the breath and direct myself to complete all chores, tasks, and work from start to finish with no mind distractions, no judgments, and no participation in the emotions of resistance, and boredom when and as they come up – by simply stopping the preceding back-chat, stopping the emotional reactions by saying “no! I am here! I am already complete!  I breathe.  I direct!  I walk as the physical!  I am here!  I need nothing more!”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the realization that there is only so much time until one’s time is up!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disempower myself from being as effective as possible by wasting my time.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the illusion of power / self-empowerment by accepting and allowing anger and frustration reactions towards things and people of whom I have blamed for wasting my time – when I see, realize, and understand that it is only me that I can blame for wasting time and that reacting in anger and frustration is not real power, but only the illusion of power which means that I am mind-fucking myself within relation to my time by disempowering myself through wasting my time by accepting and allowing mind driven interruptions and then pretending to take my power back by reacting in anger and frustration.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when my mind starts generating backchat and emotional experiences of boredom – that that means that the mind energy is low and needs recharging so that I can feel and experience being alive.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this is an illusions of feeling bored, and like I am not living and not really the actual fact.  The actual fact is that boredom does not actually exist and that I am already alive within and as the physical as all as one as equal as who I am.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I am struck with thoughts and emotions of boredom and this is not enough and I need something more – that this is indicating that my mind is diminishing and that I am expanding – thus, this is where I step in and simply stop the mind and direct myself as the physical so that I can really live.

When and as I see myself in the midst of work or taking care of practical matters, wherein the key to my personal power and success is my ability to stay here within and as the breath / as the physical and simply move myself to finish the task at hand as effectively as possible, but then back-chat starts to emerge like “I need a break.  I am bored.  I need something more.  I just can’t sit here and do this because this is not really living, etc.” I stop and I breathe.  I see, realize, and understand that this is just the mind within its pre-programmed design and patterns that come up to entrap me and enslave me to it and to energy.  I see, realize, and understand that boredom does not exist, that I am already alive here as the physical, that within self-honesty what is best for all is to complete tasks as studiously and diligently as possible, and that I need nothing more than what is right here as me as my physical body and as the physical in its totality as me as all as one as equal, right here- that I am already here, fulfilled, living, and that boredom, missing out do not even exist.   I see, realize, and understand that by going into the mind, I disempowered myself and waste time of which creates memories that accumulate stress within and as me to a point where I eventually become frustrated and angry with whatever it is that I blame to be wasting me time – when in fact – I am the time waster when and as I go into the mind and remove myself from here.  I thus commit myself to stop my mind / my backchat – remind myself that I am here, complete, and fulfilled already within who I am as the physical as this total existence here as who I am and that what I do or spend my time doing does not take away from the fact that I am already living and complete, here as the physical. Thus, I commit myself to simply stop and delete that backchat, breathe through the emotions of resistance, and boredom to assist myself to clear myself of them – and then I direct myself to stand up and complete the task at hand as diligently as possible so that I become and enable myself to be the director of time and self here in every moment thus relieving stress and taking absolute self responsibility.

 

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