Day 406 - Overwhelmed and unproductive

I've been noticing that I am overwhelmed at work to the point where it just feels better to do nothing or to waste time doing something other than work.  When I attempt to focus, I start thinking of all the things that I need to do to increase my sales and thus income, and then when I start, I freeze up once the tasks involved become difficult.  A lot of what I do, to increase sales, is based on faith - faith that the work I do will come back to me in the form of new sales.  But there is no guarantee of this and then this fear of wasting my time kicks in and then I just do something else altogether and wind up just wasting my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself give up on my tasks because I am overwhelmed / accepting and allowing me to go into the belief that I am overwhelmed / feel overwhelmed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that feeling overwhelmed is real / is me / exists outside of the construct of energy I create within and as myself, as me as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to, when and as I see myself as feeling overwhelmed, to take a step back and breathe until I am clear and here, and then from there sort out / prioritize what I need to do within the point of what is most efficient and most productive, then break it down into steps, either in writing or in my mind, and then move myself to execute each step, one by one and breath by breath, unto completion - wherein I stop and breathe when and as the point of being overwhelmed comes up, until I am clear reminding myself that this is just energy / an energy construct that I created without purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that doing nothing at all or wasting my time is a solution to feeling overwhelmed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the feeling of being overwhelmed when and as I perceive myself to be busy / too busy.

"Most of us judge how busy we are by how much we have to do. When there are too many things to do, we think we're busy, and when there isn't much to do, it feels like we're not busy at all. But in fact, we can feel busy when there isn't that much to do, and we can feel relaxed even when there's a lot going on. The states of "busy" and "not busy" aren't defined by how many things there are to do. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no such thing as multitasking; the brain can tend to only one thing at a time. Being too busy or not being busy is an interpretation of our activity. Busy-ness is a state of mind, not a fact. No matter how much or how little we're doing, we're always just doing what we're doing, simply living this one moment of our lives." –Norman Fischer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge how busy I am by how much and how many varied things / tasks I have to do.  
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into / participate in / within and as "feeling busy" when and as I perceive that there are "too many things" to do / to be done, and to not feel busy when there isn't that much to do / to be done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge feeling busy as bad / negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect "feeling busy" with being overwhelmed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself create a personality wherein the characters of "feeling busy and feeling overwhelmed" combine together with the character of "wanting to give up".  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in / go into the behavioral pattern of moving around doing pointless tasks / taking breaks as a way to feel "better / more positive" as a solution to this negative feeling personality pattern of feeling busy, overwhelmed, and wanting to give up / feeling as if there is no hope.  
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I can in fact live, as myself, the word "relax" in every moment of breath that I am here as the breath when I have lots to do and when I have very little to do.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize and understand that multi-tasking can be used as an excuse / belief / justification for not applying myself as much as physically necessary to complete each individual task as it should be.  I commit myself to reduce the amount of multi-tasking that I do to just what is best within self honestly considering the situation at hand in the moment / in real time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize, and understand and to also ignore my realizations within this regard, that "no matter how much or how little one is doing, one always is just simply doing what one is doing" and thus there is no need for judgments positive or negative to be projected on to what is physically here as what one / or self is doing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to needlessly react with all kinds of energies / characters / personalities onto what I am doing, thus creating emotional instability within and as me as my mind, instead of just simply breathing and being here within and as what I am doing without judgment and reactions.
When and as I see myself going into perceiving that there is either too much to do or to little to do and then judging this and going into all sorts of reactions such as going into the feeling overwhelmed and wanting to give up / experience of feeling overwhelmed and wanting to give up, or take excessive breaks thus making self less productive and increasing the intensity and frequency of this overwhelmed experience due to having even more to do, of which is a negative feed back loop, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow this to exist within and as me from this point forward. Instead, I commit myself find a solution, in real time when and as this point comes up, with the general solution being to break things up to doing to doable tasks / steps, doing what is most practical without judgments or reactions, as the breath and as the physical, here.

Day 405 -- Insecurity - What is it?

From listening to the Atlantean Interviews on insercurity, I learned a couple of things. First of all, insecurity is more of a specific reaction to a specific event or circumstance rather than an ongoing point as I viewed it before. Specifically, one reacts in insecurity when one is in a situation that is unfamiliar and thus does not know how to respond creating a feeling of powerlessness wherein one over-reacts / responds in a way that makes one feel more powerful / taking one’s power back, such as yelling or screaming, etc. Furthermore, we often times learn insecurity from our parents who resort to yelling or screaming as a matter to take control when the parent is faced with situations with their kids that they do not know how to deal with (feeling dis-empowered). Secondly, insecurity is a system that is oftentimes rooted in the deeper mind layers and thus is inherited from ones parents, is more physically a part of who one is, thus making it a very difficult system / pattern to transcend.

Now there is also the point of how I have defined insecurity and that within this, insecurity has more of a broad definition in that everyone experiences and thus defines insecurity a bit differently for themselves. So, therefore, I am going to look at how I have defined and experienced insecurity. So, I am going to answer the following questions for myself here:

• How have I defined insecurity? Well, I have never actually formally defined this for myself. So, off the cuff, I would define insecurity, for myself, as any time when I feel inferior to a situation or being and then react with fear and either wanting to take control or flee the situation, so as not to have to deal with it.
• How does it make me feel? Insecurity makes me feel uneasy, hyper aware of self within the point of everything that comes out of my mouth comes under judgment and scrutiny, tense, my posture usually goes limp slightly, I just want to leave the situation, I react in anger more easily and say things that I might regret, and I feel that everyone is judging me.
• What does the emotional energy that is involved with insecurity do to my physical body? Like I just mentioned, my physical body goes limp slightly meaning that my posture is not as good as normal almost as if my body is projecting the inferiority that I feel inside. It also makes me feel tense like in the shoulder areas.
• In what moments and towards whom in my life do I react in insecurity? So, loosely speaking, insecurity is a point where I feel inferior to someone and thus react in fear and become quiet / don’t talk too much, and ultimately find ways of avoiding that person of whom I reacted in inferiority to. Usually I react in inferiority towards tall men, very athletic good looking men (those whom I judge to be good looking that is), men who are very funny especially with women, wealthy men, good looking women, and then also generally speaking in any situation where I feel that I don’t know what I am doing and feel that I can be judged as such or that I am expected to know what to do.
• What in my outside world triggers insecurity? Mainly men who speak in an authoritative voice or stance towards me, and in situations where I am caught by surprise and do not know what to do or have not developed a way of dealing with it and am required to think fast and on my feet and feel that I don’t fit in somehow to what is going on / don’t know for sure my position within regard to others.

So, I am going to start by walking self forgiveness on the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind layers within specific memories where I see a pattern of insecurity, leaving out the names of those involved in the situations, in my next writings.

Day 404 - Do You Know What Is Best?

Based on: Eqafe interview:  “Do You Know What is Best – Reptilians – Part 523

https://eqafe.com/p/do-you-know-what-is-best-reptilians-part-523

Do I know what is best / the best version of myself in any given situation / moment? Considering the points brought up in this interview, I can see that a part of me does in fact know what is best / the best version of myself and then if the emotional reactions are “too much” I quickly shut it down and don’t slow down enough to look at it or consider acting on in, and instead accept and allow the mind and it’s automated response patterns of fear, protection, defense, justification, worry, etc to act for me / in my behalf because I have not the courage to stand on my own. Perhaps I should define and live the word courage? And also considering the point that whatever we give attention to most, we tend to create, by not acting on that part of me that does know what is best / the best version of myself in any given moment, I am in fact perpetuating and creating myself as the mind of which is the problem and not the solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore and suppress that part of myself that knows what is best / what is the best version of myself in any given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have the courage to stand up and act on what is best / the best version of myself in any given moment, especially when the point is clear and I have already slowed down to consider a specific point.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to gift to myself the ability to slow down and breathe when faced with a moment of deciding between acting on that part of myself that does in fact know what is best / the best version of myself in any given moment, and going into the mind and its automating patterns that I am oh too familiar with and comfortable with of which is the easy way out because it is so easy to be sucked right into the patterns and submit in exchange for the feeling of doing something about an apparent problem that probably does not in fact exist.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to gift to myself the gift of slowing down and breathing, where I enable myself to stop my mind and stand as life. Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my beingness and self-expression to be suppressed by the patterns of my mind instead of gifting myself the release of the mind and its patterns through slowing down, breathing, and self-forgiving, and standing within and acting on what is the best version of myself. Thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand on the realization that the key to walking process and birthing self as life is to be creating self as life more than one is creating self as the mind because in any given moment one is creating self either way.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to redefine and live the word courage – wherein I live and walk within the point of courage wherein I have, am, and express the courage to stand on what is best and live it as my expression in every moment that I am able to see the solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself to my own back-chats that I accept and allow to become “over-whelming” and then pretend that “I cannot resist” so that I can justify allow my mind to tell me what to do and who I am just because I am to scared to stand.

When and as I see myself in a moment of “truth” where I can decide to be and act on that part of me that knows what is best / the best version of myself and the part of me that wants to still be coddled with the patterns of the mind so that I don’t have to be responsible, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to be the worst version of myself just because I am too scared or too addicted to energy and bullshit. The time for being a wimp is past. It is time to stand and what is best. Thus, I commit myself, when those moments arise, immediately remind myself of this writing, then slow down and breathe and take a stand to not act at all until I am clear and stabilized through within and as the breath in the physical where I am here in oneness and equality. Then once clear, I commit myself to stand with the courage to act on what is best / the best version of myself – so that I can stand as the solution to what is here, instead of the problem.

Day 402 – Frozen in Time

I haven’t blogged for 5 months now, and I must say that getting myself to write this blog here has been quite a challenge. I just freeze up and go blank, almost panic, at the thought of writing or blogging within the application of self-change / self-honesty, and personal development.

I mean, why should this be a problem? Facing self within the point of self honesty, where one self-honestly faces what self has accepted and allowed self to be and become within and as the mind and all the patterns that go with it, is the most useful, personally and mutually beneficial, and self-directive activity one can participate in.

I mean, why is this so difficult? The answer is, that it’s easier to take a back seat and enjoy the ride of the mind (the positive experiences that it offers and then stomaching the negative experiences that also comes with the positive), of which we have become accustomed to over the past millions of years that marks human evolution. It’s easy because the mind just operates seemingly automatically and thus why resist because it feels so “natural”. Its easy because everyone is doing it. I mean, everyone else is doing it, right? In fact everyone has this “value system” built around being directed by the mind, as if this it is our “freedom” – freedom to be directed by repeating patterns of the mind which constitute our personalities, and where our mind is our god and is the god that we trust. It’s as if we all have this twisted perception of freedom as if freedom means that “I can be enslaved to my patterns and you can be enslaved to your patterns; and we trust our patterns / personalities as if they are our true and authentic selves” - and thus we are all free to be slaves to the mind / to god in our own individual ways. Isn’t that what religious tolerance really symbolizes about each and everyone of us? Where we grant each other the freedom to be enslaved to the mind (as god) in each’s own individual ways? Yet no one actually sees this for what it is.

Its even on our money “In god we trust”. We place our trust in our god, which is the mind (most do not and cannot see this – but if one considers this, one can see this for self), of which tells us how to act and behave through repeating patterns, specific to each and everyone of us, of the mind that we live out as if it is who we really are. And thus, stopping the patterns of the mind is like defying god / our mind and thus standing equal with god, because otherwise we are the slave being directed by god, which is the mind, telling us what to do through repeating patterns that constitute our personalities. And standing up to god as equal is like a sin, you know? And its a lot of work. And its scary. And its counter-cultural. And it’s a hassle. And it’s boring. So, why not go with the flow and live like the rest, enslaved to god / enslaved to the mind that is god – everyone seems so happy and content, right? NOT. Most life on this planet is suffering big time as a consequence to this. If you are not part of that group right now, count yourself lucky – but your time will come. It is inevitable. Why? Because the mind / god – is no respecter of persons (it actually says that in the Bible, you know) – and does not give a fuck about who or what it destroys as a consequence to its systematic and energetic existence as demonstrated through the phenomena of war, starvation, poverty, disease, and all the other atrocities that the human race ACTIVELY participates in and has NO solution for.  

I see, within my current self-awareness that I have developed thus far, a multitude of topics and points that I can face and address every single day. I see patterns of characters of self-judgment, comparison, manipulation, fear, worry, jealousy, and more every single day of which I know full well that I can apply myself to stop through blogging and vlogging. Yet I have so much resistance to this. I also have been reluctant to apply myself to redefine words so that I can live words as me and thus create myself as authentic – where what I say is what I live. Yet, I have resistance to this, more-so now than before my pause in blogging.

And so because of my resistance to blogging, I remain frozen in time. Frozen, meaning, that the same old patterns repeat and direct me day after day and thus I am frozen in time – always the same – never changing and never directing – and thus, remaining a slave to god, which is the mind, just like everyone else.

You see, within and as the mind, we are captured. We are contained. We are held "frozen in time" as the repetitive patterns that we have allowed ourselves to be and become - meaning that if I don’t apply myself to stand up to my mind and say “No. I stop. I am not these patterns” - then I will be the same old slob, enslaved to my mind, 10 years from now, 20 years, from now, until I die. That’s what I mean by frozen in time.

However, if I stand and change – then time no longer exists and I am always here, undefined, applying myself to be what is best for all in all circumstances and with all peoples, in every moment of breath – where within that, I am undefined because I always act in ways that are best for all regardless of patterns of the mind / regardless of god. Meaning that I am always the same within the point that I move and direct myself as what is best for all and that the mind and its patterns have no influence over who I am – yet I am always changing because I am directing me here in every moment to do, be, and live what is best for all in every situation and with all peoples.

So, its time that I thaw out. I need to not be frozen in time any longer. It is not doing self or anyone any good.

Humanity is turning to stone right now. Let’s reverse that course. Shall we?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and accept myself as a slave to the mind / to god because it is “easy and culturally acceptable”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn to stone / become frozen in time through my acceptance and allowance of the patterns and behaviors that constitute my mind / me as my mind. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to selfishly disregard others and the adverse consequences that go along with living as the mind to self (the inevitable negative and the inevitable consequence / physical outflow).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be prideful of my self-awareness yet at the same time live as the mind where I fuck myself and everyone over in the same exact way that those with little or no self-awareness do unwittingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my mind and its patterns to hold me frozen in time – where who I am as a being is suppressed and I thus doom myself to live ever repeating patterns, of the mind, just so that I can “feel good”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall victim to the tactics of the mind where I panic, feel bored, and divert my attention to something else immediately when I consider writing as a form of support to face my patterns and what I have become as the mind, instead of standing / taking a stand as god / the director of me, and stopping those patterns of resistance dead in their tracks through the power that I already have developed and am capable of right now – standing as my being-ness / self-awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mock, in my mind, those who are religious while I at the same time religiously bow down to the patterns and dictates of my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I accept and allow my mind to act for me – that I in-effect place my trust in god where I strip myself of my power and allow myself to be suppressed by god / my mind.

When and as I see myself going into resistance to the self-supportive application of blogging to face myself as my mind so that I can stop and become the solution instead of the problem, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow resistance to blogging because I see, realize, and understand that what I am resisting is my very own freedom and that through resisting I enable the mind / my god to have directive power over me and thus I am a slave and I am frozen in time. Thus, I commit myself to remind self of this blog, breathe, sort out my actual time constraints and them apply myself as effectively as physically possible.

Day 401 – No one can hurt you / Trust & Respect

Yes, others can physically hurt you, but emotionally, that is up to you. I've been projecting a lot of blame recently believing that others have hurt me or wronged me. Other's have wronged me by breaking a “sacred” trust. I say “sacred” because this is that trust that we are “supposed” to be able to have for one another, especially when we're in committed relationships. But this trust, is more like an ego charging system; wherein, we are just expecting others to respect us and when that dose not happen, or seem to happen, we blame and get angry and feel betrayed. When if fact, we are all just a bunch of mind possessed humans who actaully have no idea what trust and respect for one another and for life, actaully is.

As it is lived now, trust is just based upon ideas and expectations and ego / self-definitions that we are protecting through this thing that we call trust. And then when the trust is “broken” we feel “hurt” - like “you hurt me! You broke my trust!” which is really like saying “you did not behave that way that I expected you to behave based on ideas and beliefs that I hold within and as myself, and now I am hurt which means that you OWE me, because YOU caused MY pain.”

Right? Isn't this how it goes? Like, you broke my trust and thus hurt me and now you must pay and make it up to me so that, so that what?? So, that I can feel better about myself again (positive energy returned!)! Right, so I feel bad now because you disrespected me and broke my trust; and thus I am hurt and now you owe me so that I can feel good about myself again. This the foundation of trust in this mind-virtual reality that we experience ourselves in. This is what trust is used for – it is used for the preservation of the ego and our self-definitions and also it is used to get what we want and preserve what we want so that we don't loose anything. In other-words, trust is used for our own self interest of ego preservation and ego magnification. Thus, trust is just another abusive word as it is lived and experienced in our society right now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in trust or that trust exists or that trust is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others can break my trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use trust to try to control others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ideas, beliefs, and expectations within and as my mind based on memories, TV shows, and ideas about life and reality that I grew up with about how people should behave around me when in relations with me; and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my myself to believe that someone has broken my trust when and as I do not see them living up to these expectations, ideas, and beliefs about how they should behave. Within this point of “broken trust”, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then believe that my trust has been “broken”, that I have been “disrespected” and then use this to justify reacting in blame and anger towards the being whom “broke” my trust and thus “hurt” me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be emotionally “hurt”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of being emotionally “hurt” as a means of self-manipulation to justify acting out, becoming angry, taking revenge, and acting in any type of emotion or physical action that gives me the experience of feeling good again after feeling bad because of how I reacted to the point of having someone “break” my trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to turn the point of trust into a polarity game, wherein when and as everyone behaves as expected based on ideas and beliefs, I feel good / respected; but when and as others behave “out of character” and “violate” my boundaries, I feel disrespected and as if my trust has been broken and then I feel negative / bad; and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then become mind possessed with desire to act out or do something / say something that will make the others feel less than so that I can feel good again.

Day 400 – Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Its been a few weeks since I have posted any writings. I've been busy with holidays, vacations, job interviews, and now it seems that I am just not quite disciplined enough to make a little time to keep up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses and justifications as to why I cannot write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my holiday schedule to bleed into inconsistencies with my other commitments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take the self-responsibility to get back into my regular schedule promptly so that I can apply myself within my commitment to write my process on a daily or almost daily basis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the time that has passed in posting writings to be a mounting resistance to making new writings within the point that the longer I go without writing the harder it is to get back into the discipline of writing. Within this, I forgive myself that I have ignored the realization that I have made in the past that: to stop the mind, one must act within an almost daily discipline of self-forgiveness, especially in written form, on order to diminish the mind and increase self's being-ness expression. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have also ignored the realization that the longer I go without the discipline of daily self forgiveness, the more and more the mind will re-substantiate itself and draw me back into within and as it and thus the more and more I loose myself back into the mind and the more and more difficult it thus becomes to get back into writing out my process of stopping the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not writing because of “not having enough time”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not writing self forgiveness because “I have nothing to write about in the moment” and then react to that thought with resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the energetic experience of resistance to writing process because it is “too difficult / too time-consuming / I cannot think of anything to write about” when I see, realize, and understand that these are all justifications of the mind to keep my trapped in the mind.

When and as I see myself going into resistance to writing, for any justification whatsoever, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to go into and be directed by the energy of resistance because I see, realize, and understand that within this I am not really living nor am I directing myself, but my mind is living for me. Thus, I commit myself to remind myself of this immediately when and as resistance comes up, then from there I commit myself to breathe slowly the 4 count breath until I am clear and stable and not being directed by any energies. From here, I commit myself to assess my time and apply myself to writing if it is a practical option, such as having at least 20 minutes and a quite environment – if those 2 things exist, I commit myself to remind myself that I do have the time and thus I commit myself to apply myself to sit down and write. I commit myself to also get back into my regular schedule where I write in the early mornings, when I am most clear, have most quite, and the most time. I commit myself to achieve this by going back to bed at my regular hour, around 9pm, so that I can wake up early and take care of my ultimate responsibility of stopping my mind and living for real as the physical of life.

Day 399 – Fear of Poverty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to the idea of being in poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to my fear of the idea of being in poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to the idea of losing money especially when I already do not have that much money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear can protect me from loosing money and from poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and then react / connect fear to my projecting of them judging me as being in poverty and thus a looser and inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow fear of poverty to act as a trigger to trigger worry and then more fear in reaction to my worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen by others as in poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to pay bills and then going into debt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be react in jelousy and envy of others who are able to make millions and billions of dollars in this system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven to succeed through a fear of poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the desire to be super-rich as a reaction to my fear of poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself as equal to others unless I am able to make millions and billions of dollars. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project that others are rejecting me because I do not make anything close to millions and billions of dollars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my worth is my net-worth in dollars and cents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to a fear of poverty / fear of losing money / fear of not making enough money with worry about the future and imaginations about being in poverty or losing everything and then react in more fear to this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow fear of poverty to trigger thoughts and imaginations that I become trapped in separating me from here / from physical reality where I am lost in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that getting lost in my mind does not do anything to protect me from what I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist going into poverty through reacting in fear to the idea of going into poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to destabilize my mind within the point of being mind-possessed with fear of poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself in a constant state of stress due to my constant fear of poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tense my body / muscles, especially my shoulder muscles as a way to keep myself in constant “protection” mode to protect me from my fear of poverty.

When and as I see myself stepping into the fear of poverty character, where I react in fear and then worry to the idea / perception / belief of being in poverty I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to embody or possess a fear of poverty for any reason whatsoever. I see, realize, and understand that fear of poverty does nothing to protect myself from being in poverty and actually increases the chances that I remain in poverty due to its destabilizing effects on my mind and physical body. I commit myself to stop my fear of poverty by stopping any and all fear reactions to the idea of poverty, losing money, or not making enough money by reminding myself that fear does nothing to protect me. whatsoever and that, if anything, fear increases the odds / chances of what I fear happening, happening. Thus, I commit myself to stand as relaxed at all times, breathing, and stopping all fear when and as it arises within and as me by reminding myself that fear does nothing to protect me and then breathing / aligning myself to within and as my breathing and my physical body where I stand as the solution to what I fear thus stopping fear. From here, I commit myself to find practical solutions and then to walk them unto completion not driven by fear energy, but by common sense and breath.