Sunday, June 8, 2014

Day 193 – What Constitutes and Triggers Worry, Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the time that it takes to move from the initiation of an event, for instance the moment I realize I might lose a large amount of money in some way, to the resolution of that event with the energy / emotion of waiting – wherein this emotion / energy is created as a consequence to my participation in thoughts like: 'I cannot wait that long to find out what will happen to me.'; 'I must find out now.'; 'I will not be able to focus on anything else until I find out what will happen to me with this.'; 'what will my life be like if the worst-case scenario were to happen to me.' - of which I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in such thoughts within and as my mind instead of remaining here and stopping those thoughts the moment that they come-up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and perpetuate within and as myself the belief that 'there are certain things that I cannot stand through, such as: loosing too much money wherein I am not able to pay for my bills and financial responsibilities; loosing one of my children; loosing my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the fear of loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within what it is that I have now and can control within my reality – wherein if I were to potentially loose it or loose control of it I react in worry to try to maintain control and get it back or prevent it from happening.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the only control that I really have is over myself and who I am in every breath. Within this, I forgive myself I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this control / self-control is expressed within and as my ability to investigate my reality and project within and as my mind the potential outcomes that I face based upon the decisions that I make; and from there I have the ability to decide and direct myself to move myself in a specific direction to minimize the risk of consequences that I would like to avoid, but beyond that I have no actual control over the outcome of events in the physical and no amount of thinking and worrying and fearing will aide me in changing or guaranteeing a potential reality to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that worrying, fearing, and obsessing over a specific point will do anything whatsoever to change or alter or control the potential out come of that which I worry about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the idea of NOT worrying over the potential outcome of an event.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the space / empty space that exists between the initiation of an event and the resolution of an event; and then within and as this fear I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the idea that 'if only I can find a way out / a solution then I can stop this fear. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the way to stop my fear reaction is to react with the energy of worry where I actually cater to this fear through analyzing a situation over and over again from every conceivable angle and then try to find a solution over and over again through the use of future projections / imaginations within and as my mind / the pictures in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the way to stop fear is to simply remain here, within and as the physical, and breathe / through breathing I stop fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the energy of waiting and fear that I have accepted and allowed to fill the empty space that exists between the initiation and resolution of an event with the energy of worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that worry is justified.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself with the energy of worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are certain circumstances that require the energy reaction of worry and that there are times that I 'deserve' to be punished with the energy of worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not worry then I am not doing anything about that which I face.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that there is an element of lack of self-trust that exists along side the energy of worry – where I do not trust myself to be able to stand through the consequences whatever they may be and I do not trust myself to have made the right decisions in the first place to have not manifested adverse consequences.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that a lack of self-trust shows me that I have neglected to remain here as the director of me within each and every breath because if I were to do so, then every decision I make would be best for all and best for me thus I would never have anything to worry about because I would always be here for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is ever something that I cannot stand through and remain here as if certain things inherently are too much to bear -as if I can only stand up to a certain point and from there I must let the mind take over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surrender my self-directiveness to the mind when and as I perceive that there is something that I face that is too much to bear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'I just cannot stand through this. I must worry.'

Part 3 will be a very specific self-corrective piece where I script out exactly how I will stand and stop this worry energy reaction.




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