Day 283 – Empowerment / Disempowerment through money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empowered when and as I have plenty of money or have access to money.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into back-chats and imaginations about all the things I can spend my money on and thus exert my power on – which creates, fuels, and charges an even greater ‘positive’ experience of feeling powerful when and as I have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dis-empowered when I spend money, within the point that when the money is spent, I no longer have it and thus no longer have my power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empowered when I have money to spend on my desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my power in money which equals my ability to get what I desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect power to my ability to get what I desire which is represented / equated with the amount of money that I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dis-empowered when and as, I am not able to get what I desire or need because I have limited money.

 

When and as I see myself going into the emotional reaction of feeling dis-empowered, where I feel powerless and limited, when I am not able to get what I want because I do not have the money, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow this because I see, realize, and understand that I have misplaced my power by placing my power in money instead of self, here, standing as the physical in every breath.  I see, realize, and understand that my true power is where I stand here in every breath un-moved by energy where I direct me.  Thus, I commit myself to breathe through the reaction of feeling dis-empowered and remind myself that ‘I only feel this dis-empowerment because I have mis-placed my power by placing it outside of myself within and as money; and that my true power is to live here in every breath where I am not defined by anything nor am I moved by energy.’ 

 

When and as I see myself going into the feeling reaction of feeling powerful when and as I have money in the bank to buy what I want, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to go into the positive reaction of feeling powerful because I have money.  I see, realize, and understand that this reaction is only because I have mis-placed my power by placing it in money, outside of myself, and that within this I am not living true power, but only the imaginary power that exists within my mind within my own self-definitions and ideas in separation from what is here.  Thus, I commit myself to slow down and breathe and remind myself that there is no true power in money, and that money is only a tool to provide for what I need and to help build a world that is best for all.

Day 282 – See-sawing myself to death between fighting for survival and pursuing happiness, both within this world as money and within my mind as energy, II

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ‘see-sawing’ myself ‘to death’ between the polarity of ‘fighting for survival – the survival of me as a mind as energy’ and pursuing happiness as defined as a perpetual state of the ultimate experience.’  

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this ‘fight for survival’ as the mind is, in actuality, a ‘fight’ to always have at least some form of an energetic experience within and as my mind as reactions, emotions, and feelings – and that when this is not occurring I feel as if I am ‘dead’ and not really living.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this translates – is mirrored – in the reality of our modern day monetary system where one constantly ‘fights’ for money, within and endless need for new money, and would literally die of starvation without money.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to be on a relentless pursuit of an eternal never ending ultimate experience, AKA ‘happiness’, that exists as pictures, ideas, and desires within my mind like ‘carrots on a stick’, while at the same time I am  ‘fighting’ for any form of energetic mind experience whatsoever just so that I can feel as if I am not ‘dead’, even negative reactions of and like ‘anger’ give the ‘feeling’ as if one is ‘alive’ within and as the mind, and is ‘better’ than nothing at all.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am already dead as the physical, within and as my being-ness, and as life – because I have taken a back-seat to the mind, to serve the mind, and to live as the mind and for energetic experiences.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this reality is mirrored / reflected / expressed within our current monetary system – whereas money is equal to energy – and the relation ship that I have to money, and also the way this monetary system is designed, is the same, one and equal, with the relationship that I have with my own mind as energy.

 

I commit myself to stop and no longer accept and allow myself to live for and the mind and energy - wherein I no longer need, believe, or desire energy to direct me, to generate feelings, emotions, reactions, personalities, characters, constructs, resonances, etc – all to just ‘feel’ alive while at the same time I pursue ‘happiness’ which is like ‘eternal life’ – the never ending positive energy experience that does not exist. 

I commit myself to align myself within and as my physical body and live here as the physical, as the breath, where I no longer live for energetic experiences.  Within this, I commit myself to remind myself that I may feel as if I am dead, within the point of stopping the mind, but that this feeling is of energy and is not really me anyway.  Thus, I commit myself to stop this energetic reaction and resistance to slowing down and breathing and living here, by simply saying ‘no. this energy is not me.  I am not the mind.  I stand.  I walk.  I breathe.’

I commit myself to walking myself into equality and oneness, breath by breath, and then participating in walking this world system of money, breath-by-breath, into one that reflects the new reality of me as a physical being of no mind.

Day 281 – Seesawing myself to death between fighting for survival and pursuing happiness, both within this world as money and within my mind as energy.

Having a look at it, I can see that life, in the world as it is today, is basically boiled down to two things:  Fighting for survival, and pursuing happiness. 

I can also see, that the mind, and me as the mind, is doing the same thing within the point of energy:  the mind is fighting for its existence within the point of needing a perpetual energy source and generator – the human physical body and my being-ness, inside the body, to always be reacting, with thoughts, feelings, and emotions, to something in order perpetuate its existence and thus ‘survive’, and also pursue ‘happiness’, which is the ultimate energetic experience.  

You see, the mind needs energy to survive; just like I need money to survive in this system.  For instance, I must always be doing something to make money, otherwise, I starve to death and die, due to having no access to resources; just like the mind needs energy to perpetuate its existence; otherwise it and all of its systems such as emotional bodies, constructs, characters, personalities, thoughts, feelings, emotions will eventually cease to exist without energy –because all these systems ARE energy and thus are perpetuated and substantiated with energy.  Energy, as we all know, is limited.  It has a beginning and an end.  Thus, the replenishment of energy is always required to perpetuate the mind and all of its systems, just like the replenishment of money is always required in order to perpetuate me in this existence as it is set up now, within the point that money is also limited and thus needs constant replenishing.  This parallel is so because this existence mirrors what we all live inside of ourselves.  ‘As within so without’.

So, if we slow ourselves down, we can see that we are living the same thing on the inside as what we are living in the outside.  In the outside world, when I am not ‘fighting’ for my survival, I am pursuing happiness, right?  I mean, I am either chasing after my ultimate experience, if and when I can afford it; OR, I am busy competing for resources not only to fund my ultimate experience but to survive in this system.  And within myself, its like the same exact thing:  I am either imagining, planning, and trying to execute whatever plans I have in order to bring about the most ‘exciting, fulfilling, sensual, gratifying, and pleasing experience or realization of a self-definition through the fulfillment of desire; OR, I am trying to avoid boredom, dullness, and things that I do not want to do because of how I have judged them and defined myself of which these points all are like ‘low energy’ points.  Also, within this point of low energy, the mind tends to find ways of creating any type of reaction whatsoever, positive or negative, in order to create energy and sustain its existence because even negative energy is better than none at all!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life of seesawing between ‘fighting for survival’ and ‘pursuing happiness’, both within my mind and in this world of making money to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pursing happiness and fighting for survival is ‘normal’ and thus all that life is about, without ever asking ‘why do we live this way and what is normal’.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that pursuing happiness in this monetary system, as it is now, requires money, a constant flow of new money, and thus is simply unavailable to all those without money, like billions of starving people around the world.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that pursuing happiness through the acquisition of money requires a constant flow of new money that must be created from the conversion of physical resources on this planet to make products to buy.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this constant pursuit of money to buy and pursue happiness puts a physical strain on this earth due to the relentless conversion of physical resources that is required to support the relentless pursuit of ‘happiness’, through money, that all the beings on this planet are competing for.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the pursuit of the experience of happiness, within self, which is supported by energy to fuel the systems of the mind, such as positive feelings, requires energy and a constant flow of new energy of which is obtained from my physical body of which puts a strain on my physical body because of the fact the energy required to sustain the mind in its fight for survival and pursuit of happiness is a constant flow of energy and thus there is no regard for my physical body as it is constantly being abused to be converted to energy to support the mind – just like this earth is constantly being converted to products to generate money for this world monetary system of which there is no regard for the outflow of consequence to this earth – because we are / I am more concerned with the experience of happiness than the outflow of consequence to the physical that is required to facilitate this experience.

To be continued…

 

Day 280 – Redefining What It Means To Live, Part III

When and as I see myself defining myself as “I am not living / not alive / not experiencing myself to the fullest’ and then go into reactions of fear and resistance to simply doing what is practical, best for all, where no experience directs, me I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to define myself in anyway whatsoever, and thus I commit myself to remind myself that I am here, physical, breathing, and that equal and one living means that I do what is best for all and that the experience of negative or positive is not what is in charge of me.  I am in charge of me.  I direct me here in every breath.  I commit myself to remind myself that this feeling of ‘not living’ will pass if I just simply breath and do not participate in it.  I see, realize, and understand that these ‘negative’ emotions of feeling bored, etc, with ‘life, feeling like I am missing out if I were to do and act only within what is physically practical, are not real, not me, and only energetic entities that I myself have created within and as myself through my participation in my mind over time that have accumulated to a point of mind possession as personalities and characters that have taken directive control over me.  I thus commit myself to breathe through the resistance and fear reactions until I am clear, and then can ground myself here, in the physical, and then I direct myself to do what is practical where no energies are directing me.

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that real living is where I live here, in the physical, in every breath, unconditional of my circumstances.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that real living is where I take everything into consideration and move myself within what is best for all regardless of any feelings or emotions that come up.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have created all the negative and positive energies as characters, backchats, emotions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, constructs, personalities, and mind possessions that step in and direct me to act within self-interest / the self interest of fulfilling myself within positive experiences in order to fulfill my self-definition – through my own participation in my own mind without any awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live the principle of self responsibility, realizing that I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me and that I have the power to change what I see is compromising who I am, what I live, and how this affects others.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live the principle of self-awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and my own mind – and to differentiate through self-honesty, what is real / physical and what is energy / not real / and my own creation that has taken over me and directed thus far – and to see that my thoughts, my self-definitions, my ideas of what living is about, and the fulfilling of pictures, ideas, opinions, beliefs, and self-definitions is not what is best for me and best for all.

 

I commit myself to slowing down and breathing throughout my day within the point of applying the principle of self-awareness and self-responsibility.

I commit myself to always asking myself questions – where does this energy come from?  Is it me, or my mind? 

I commit myself to reminding myself that I do not have to participate in anything – that it is my choice and that I can stand as the physical and just simply breathe.

I commit myself to living the new definition of what it means to really live which is simply to live here in every breath where I take the stand as the director of me and commit myself to releasing myself from the control of energy through self honesty, self forgiveness, self-awareness, self-purification, and self-responsibility.

 

What does it really mean to live?  I am already living, here, as the physical, breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘there must be something more than me right here in order feel alive.’ 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that seeking the feeling of feeling alive through the fulfillment of self-definitions shows me that within this I am already dead, suppressed, and not really living at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and thus feel as if I am not really living. 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand the absurd point of believing that I am not living / experiencing life and thus missing out when in fact I am here already breathing.

 

I commit myself to remind myself that I am already here and that I need nothing more than me right here.

 

 

Day 279 – Redefining What It Means To Live, Part II

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to ever consider created within and as myself, for myself, and for all life here in existence, a living definition of what it means to ‘really live’ that accounts for all life equally and brings solutions that are best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a reactive definition of ‘what it means to live’, wherein I simply react to what is here in the moment / to my current situation, whatever it is, with comparisons and then positive or negative judgments, where I compare and judge what is here to images, pictures, ideas, beliefs, all as memories that exist within and as my own mind separate from what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as bored, unfulfilled, unsatisfied, missing-out, unhappy, and thus not really living when and as what is here does not match-up with my pre-programmed ideas, beliefs, constructs, opinions, desires, images, pictures – all as memories / as expectations of how I should be living and should be experiencing myself that exist within and as my mind in separation from what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I ‘should’ be able to experience myself as positive energy at all times when I see, realize, and understand that positive energy always ends and thus must be charged and created again through more mind participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be happy and that happiness exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be bored and unhappy and that boredom and unhappiness exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘I need something more than what is here now.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am energy.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all I need is to be here breathing, and nothing more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the consequence of living for energy and positive experiences is the point of survival that exists now wherein I am constantly fighting for my survival equal and one with how I am fighting for positive energy experiences. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow the pre-programming that I received as a child through television, pop-culture, and people around me that life is about pursuing happiness, good-times, money, status, winning, gratification, laughing, smiling, looking pretty – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to robotically stay ‘committed’ to fulfilling these things no matter the cost and to literally fight tooth and nail to create these conditions within and as my own life. 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – as evidenced with the insatiable greed, malice, callousness, and ruthlessness of the elite, that there is no real satisfaction, happiness, success, and point of winning that lasts and lasts without eventually wanting / desiring more and more as seen in this reality where the elite steel and steel, kill and kill, and destroy this planet in their pursuit of happiness which is the very same thing that I am doing on a smaller scale.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore all the evidence around me that there is no real happiness that can result from chasing positive energy experiences and that these experiences always end and thus the pursuit of happiness never ends and is never really achieved within the definition that it carries now in the world system and within me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to ever consider the outflow of consequence, such as war, poverty, etc., of chasing after desires in order to fulfill positive experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be at war with everyone where I am competing for resources that will lead me to the ultimate experience of myself – that actually does not really exists in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself and participate in the idea and belief that somehow I am giving up on myself if I no longer go to war with all life on earth for my ‘right’ to live and pursue happiness and the ultimate experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others as pictures and then compare these picture presentations that others present of themselves to the pictures in my own mind and then become jealous of them if they seem to be fulfilling my own desires for myself within their lives.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my own self-created jealousy to act as the platform for excuses and justifications to continue to compete for the ultimate life, the ultimate experience and to not give up because one day ‘maybe I will be able to live the pictures that exist in my mind too.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and expect that I should be able to be entertained and gratified at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘bored’ if and when I am not experiencing any time or form of positive experience such as happiness, pleasure, winning, and the like.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to simply ask myself the question ‘why do I need something more than me right here?”

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to sort out for myself the difference between ‘feeling alive’ and actual equal and one practical living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the language that applies to physical living is in the ‘present tense’ on the word living itself – meaning that the present tense is only used in the emotional / feeling state when operating on an energy based self definition of living – such as I feel alive or I am feeling alive.  Yet, on a physical based practical definition – the present tense is on the word ‘living’ as in I am living / practically living.

 

When and as I see myself going defining myself as bored, unsatisfied, unhappy, and unfulfilled, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to define myself as such because I see, realize, and understand that these constructs to not actually exist in-fact, that these constructs will act as a platform for me to justify finding ways to create a positive experience of some sort of which I see is no solution because positive energy always ends and then I am left where I started, and I see, realize, and understand that living for energy and experiences creates adverse consequences for both my body and this physical existence as a whole as seen with the current world state of affairs.  Thus, I commit myself to breathe, really slow down and breathe, and remind myself that ‘I am not this energy.  Boredom, unhappiness, unfulfillment, unsatisfaction, desires, desires for gratification, desires of any type – all do not exist in physical reality and only exist within my own mind where I separate myself from what is here when and as I participate in them as is they are real.  Thus, I commit myself to breathe, speak self-forgiveness in the moment out load in a steady, stable, voice tonality until I am clear.  I commit myself to clear myself with this process before making any decisions about how to conduct myself and thus move myself.  I commit myself to remind myself of my new definition of what it means to really live – which I will define in my next post.  I commit myself to live here physically, as a physical being, where no pursuit of energy / happiness exists within and as me directing me, sabotaging me, and limiting me.

 

When and as I see myself comparing myself as pictures, images, ideas, beliefs, all as memories that exist in my mind as me, to others and what I perceive them to be living that I am not, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow myself to compare myself to others because I see, realize, and understand that we are all equal and one and no one is really living the pictures that exist in my mind because it is impossible to live positive experiences perpetually – thus I see, realize, and understand that all that I am doing is comparing the pictures that exist in my mind to the pictures that these people represent and are displaying of themselves – and that this comparison is just simply comparing pictures and images and thus there is nothing real, substantial, or physically verifiable going on here in these comparisons.  I see, realize, and understand that within this, I am simply reacting to pictures that nothing real is going on.  Thus, I commit myself to stop all comparisons and judgments of others and myself by saying ‘No, I stop this.  I am not this.  I do not compare and judge’ in a stern, directive voice, and thus delete these comparisons immediately.  I then direct myself to remind myself that we are all one and equal / one and equally living the same point of positive and then negative energy / thus survival and wining if possible – no matter who we are and what images and pictures that we can present of ourselves to others.  I then direct myself to breathe, remain here, and move myself within what is best for all and practical.

Out of time.   Will continue with more self-corrective / self-application statements and then will continue with a new definition of what it means to live that I can live by in complete equality with all as one as equal as me, eternally, in every breath.

 

 

Day 278 – Redefining What It Means To Live

What I’ve been observing is that my definition of what it really means to live needs to be corrected.  I’ve been living life with this expectation of greatness, joy, excitement, pleasure, and entertainment as a standard modus operundi wherein I compare everything that I do with pictures, ideas, opinions, beliefs, and expectations about ‘how life should be’ and ‘what life is all about’, all of which were just ‘given’ to me by television, my parents, my peers, popular music, and popular culture in general throughout my life – and then through comparison, I make judgments of my living conditions, positive or negative based on these comparisons and then find myself directed to ‘fix’ the problem of negative judgments with filling the time that I have with something that fits my ‘positive’ definitions of what life is supposed to be about .  Yet, none of my ideas, beliefs, standards, expectations, and ideas about how life should be lived and experienced ever came from a starting point of self-honesty and practicality – and none came from the starting point of taking into consideration what is best for all in regards to the outflow of consequences of my actions, thoughts, and words. 

You see, I was never trained or taught to do this nor was a value system ever put in place to do this because life is about ‘fulfilling your dreams’ and ‘happiness’ and ‘good times and bad times’, (which of course the good times and bad times construct is simply a way to ‘justify’ the negative outflow of consequences that come through living within the self-interest of seeking only fulfillment through energy based experiences), ‘learning a few lessons’, ‘competing to win’(while at the same time not admitting it due to the social implications of looking and appearing selfish and self-centered), living and fulfilling my dreams (whatever that really means.  I mean, what the fuck are my dreams anyway?  This is definitely a topic in itself), and then finally dying and going back to ‘god’.  This is the life that we are programmed to live and this is a deep rooted program that runs in the back-ground constantly directing self to run back to the mind as energy, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 

So, within this, I am directed by memories of all the TV programming, the words people spoke to me of which instilled ideas and beliefs within and as me that I integrated within and as myself at a subconscious and even unconscious level, perhaps, where I am and have been ‘held back’ from any real living self-expression due to my blind obedience to living out this faulty, self-centered, definition of what is means to really live life that was given to me by me parents, my culture, and television.

It is time that I redefined what it means to live, to really live, so that this new definition can thus supplant and replace the old self-destructive one that was been guiding me for all these years.

To be continued….

Day 277 – Re-aligning my starting point: From Experience Based Living to Principled Living, Part XIII

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to step into the resistance character, where I generate, create, and participate in all types of excuses and justifications to not stand and fulfill my commitment to live within and as principle, as the breath, as the physical. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this resistance character is me, the real me, when in fact it is nothing more than a system of pre-programmed energy that I myself created through my blind belief that it is me and that it is representing what I really want and how I really want to live – when in fact, the back-chat that comes up along with all the excuses and justifications are all of energy, designed to pull me back into my mind and into experience based living.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to remind myself of my starting point when and as I am faced with resistance, where I say ‘no, this is not who I am.  I am not this energy.  I stand and live principle where I take self-responsibility for who I am in every breath to live here as the breath and as the physical of which is best for all.’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to live a starting point of living for energy and experiences of which is revealed whenever I ‘give-in’ and except the resistance character that I created within and as myself as the real me, and thus believe that it is speaking for me as me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that in those moments where things slow down and my mind starts throwing-up thoughts as back-chats as ideas, pictures, desires, beliefs of boredom, beliefs that I am not living, beliefs that I am missing out – that none of this is me if and when I stand and live my starting point of living as principle, as the physical, and as the breath. 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the resistance character, where I go into resistance towards the stopping of my mind and thus the stopping of experience based living, is designed to perpetuate the existence of energy of the mind and of me as the mind in order to survive – which means that the resistance character is connected to the point of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will end or will not be able to experience live to the fullest if I were to stop the mind and all the little things that I like to do that stimulate the mind as positive energy experiences within and as myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that what I am really doing here is living the point of survival as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live the starting point of principled living where I live the principles of what is best for all in every breath of which is to remain here and breathe, in every breath, dependent on nothing / no experience to entertain me, keep or make me happy, to satisfy me, or pull me out of some form of a negative experience such as boredom.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to connect a fear reaction to standing as the breath and living as principle within the point that this would represent a ‘loss’ to me of myself as the mind / as the pre-programmed personalities that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take full self-responsibility to breathe and be here in every moment of breath, but instead have accepted and allowed myself to ‘pick and choose’ that what I stand on, and when I stand on points, and then to make excuses and justifications as to why I should not stand.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this is not principled living where I apply the self-responsibility to live what is best for all in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in back-chats as excuses and justifications and comparisons such as ‘just this once’, ‘I’ve got to live a little’, ‘this is where I am in my process thus it’s ok’, ‘I can’t live my whole life like this.’ ‘Look at everyone else and what they get to do.’ ‘I am missing out’, ‘I don’t have the power / self-control to resist.’ ‘In this case living for experience is ‘justified’’

 

When and as I see myself stepping into the resistance character where I, when faced in those moments of desire for something ‘more’ / something ‘energetic to entertain, fulfill, stimulate, or gratify me, start generating and creating a bunch of excuses and justifications such as ‘just this once’, ‘I’ve got to live a little’, ‘this is where I am in my process thus it’s ok’, ‘I can’t live my whole life like this.’ ‘Look at everyone else and what they get to do.’ ‘I am missing out’, ‘I don’t have the power / self-control to resist.’ ‘In this case living for experience is ‘justified’’, finally reach a point where through participating in this back-chat and believing it is me believe that I cannot resist – right in that moment, I say ‘NO. This is not me.  I am not this back-chat.  I am not this resistance.  These desires for energy, stimulation, entertainment, gratification, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of relaxation, the feeling of pleasure, and the fears of losing self if I were to not participate, are all of the mind of / of energy and are all creations of energy, constructs, systems, characters, and personalities that I myself created over-time in my own mind and that these energies, as me, are literally ‘fighting for their survival’ and thus will end and dissipate if I stand and live as principle / the principle of taking self-responsibility to live what is best for all which is to live here as the breath, as the physical where no energy exists and directs me and tells me what to do.  I commit myself to stop playing these games with myself and to stand and live here in every breath and no longer accept and allow energy to direct me and tell me what to do.  I see, realize, and understand that if I had been living by principle where I live what is best for all in every breath as a principled matter, where no self-interest to have, form, create, and participate in any type of energetic experience is directing me at all, that these energies as back-chats would not even exist in the first place.  Thus, I commit myself to stand as the physical / as the breath and live the point of principled living into every breath thus stopping the energies and stepping in as the director of me where I decide and direct what I do free from any positive, neutral, or negative energies directing me.  I commit myself to slow down and breathe throughout the day so that I can develop my self-awareness to be better able to identify energy and thus assist myself to release the energies through self-forgiveness in the moment as systematically as possible.  I commit myself to live from the starting point of the principle of moving myself as to what is best for all in every breath, which is to live here as the physical free of any energies as the director of me from the starting point of self-awareness where I am aware of what is energy and what is real equal and one living.  I commit myself to consistently write and examine myself in self-honesty so that I can see the difference between living as energy and living as principle as the physical.  I commit myself to apply myself to live what is best for all.