Monday, January 19, 2015

Day 277 – Re-aligning my starting point: From Experience Based Living to Principled Living, Part XIII

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to step into the resistance character, where I generate, create, and participate in all types of excuses and justifications to not stand and fulfill my commitment to live within and as principle, as the breath, as the physical. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this resistance character is me, the real me, when in fact it is nothing more than a system of pre-programmed energy that I myself created through my blind belief that it is me and that it is representing what I really want and how I really want to live – when in fact, the back-chat that comes up along with all the excuses and justifications are all of energy, designed to pull me back into my mind and into experience based living.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to remind myself of my starting point when and as I am faced with resistance, where I say ‘no, this is not who I am.  I am not this energy.  I stand and live principle where I take self-responsibility for who I am in every breath to live here as the breath and as the physical of which is best for all.’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to live a starting point of living for energy and experiences of which is revealed whenever I ‘give-in’ and except the resistance character that I created within and as myself as the real me, and thus believe that it is speaking for me as me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that in those moments where things slow down and my mind starts throwing-up thoughts as back-chats as ideas, pictures, desires, beliefs of boredom, beliefs that I am not living, beliefs that I am missing out – that none of this is me if and when I stand and live my starting point of living as principle, as the physical, and as the breath. 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the resistance character, where I go into resistance towards the stopping of my mind and thus the stopping of experience based living, is designed to perpetuate the existence of energy of the mind and of me as the mind in order to survive – which means that the resistance character is connected to the point of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will end or will not be able to experience live to the fullest if I were to stop the mind and all the little things that I like to do that stimulate the mind as positive energy experiences within and as myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that what I am really doing here is living the point of survival as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live the starting point of principled living where I live the principles of what is best for all in every breath of which is to remain here and breathe, in every breath, dependent on nothing / no experience to entertain me, keep or make me happy, to satisfy me, or pull me out of some form of a negative experience such as boredom.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to connect a fear reaction to standing as the breath and living as principle within the point that this would represent a ‘loss’ to me of myself as the mind / as the pre-programmed personalities that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take full self-responsibility to breathe and be here in every moment of breath, but instead have accepted and allowed myself to ‘pick and choose’ that what I stand on, and when I stand on points, and then to make excuses and justifications as to why I should not stand.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this is not principled living where I apply the self-responsibility to live what is best for all in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in back-chats as excuses and justifications and comparisons such as ‘just this once’, ‘I’ve got to live a little’, ‘this is where I am in my process thus it’s ok’, ‘I can’t live my whole life like this.’ ‘Look at everyone else and what they get to do.’ ‘I am missing out’, ‘I don’t have the power / self-control to resist.’ ‘In this case living for experience is ‘justified’’

 

When and as I see myself stepping into the resistance character where I, when faced in those moments of desire for something ‘more’ / something ‘energetic to entertain, fulfill, stimulate, or gratify me, start generating and creating a bunch of excuses and justifications such as ‘just this once’, ‘I’ve got to live a little’, ‘this is where I am in my process thus it’s ok’, ‘I can’t live my whole life like this.’ ‘Look at everyone else and what they get to do.’ ‘I am missing out’, ‘I don’t have the power / self-control to resist.’ ‘In this case living for experience is ‘justified’’, finally reach a point where through participating in this back-chat and believing it is me believe that I cannot resist – right in that moment, I say ‘NO. This is not me.  I am not this back-chat.  I am not this resistance.  These desires for energy, stimulation, entertainment, gratification, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of relaxation, the feeling of pleasure, and the fears of losing self if I were to not participate, are all of the mind of / of energy and are all creations of energy, constructs, systems, characters, and personalities that I myself created over-time in my own mind and that these energies, as me, are literally ‘fighting for their survival’ and thus will end and dissipate if I stand and live as principle / the principle of taking self-responsibility to live what is best for all which is to live here as the breath, as the physical where no energy exists and directs me and tells me what to do.  I commit myself to stop playing these games with myself and to stand and live here in every breath and no longer accept and allow energy to direct me and tell me what to do.  I see, realize, and understand that if I had been living by principle where I live what is best for all in every breath as a principled matter, where no self-interest to have, form, create, and participate in any type of energetic experience is directing me at all, that these energies as back-chats would not even exist in the first place.  Thus, I commit myself to stand as the physical / as the breath and live the point of principled living into every breath thus stopping the energies and stepping in as the director of me where I decide and direct what I do free from any positive, neutral, or negative energies directing me.  I commit myself to slow down and breathe throughout the day so that I can develop my self-awareness to be better able to identify energy and thus assist myself to release the energies through self-forgiveness in the moment as systematically as possible.  I commit myself to live from the starting point of the principle of moving myself as to what is best for all in every breath, which is to live here as the physical free of any energies as the director of me from the starting point of self-awareness where I am aware of what is energy and what is real equal and one living.  I commit myself to consistently write and examine myself in self-honesty so that I can see the difference between living as energy and living as principle as the physical.  I commit myself to apply myself to live what is best for all.

No comments:

Post a Comment