Day 368 – Control Freak, II

When and as I see myself accessing the control “freak” character – wherein I subtly try to manipulate and control others behaviors and decisions just so that I can keep what I have or get what I want from the starting point of fear of loss / fear for my survival / fear of not being able to experience myself within and as the fulfillment of my self-definition, I stop and I breathe.  I do not accept and allow this character to exist within and as me.  I see, realize, and understand that it is literally impossible to control or manipulate others beyond what they already want to do beyond a limited duration in time; and that this controlling and manipulative character is an energy creation that is abusive to all life and serves no purpose but to create the illusion that I am doing something to protect me from that what I fear loosing or not having; and thus this character just keeps me trapped within and as my mind in separation from here.  I see, realize, and understand that it is fear of loss that is driving this character to exist within and as me and until that fear of loss is faced by me, wherein I stop participating in this fear once and for all and thus choose to breathe and remain here as the physical instead, that I will perpetually have to resort to covering up this fear and managing this fear for the rest of time, of which will bring me to my end and keep me trapped in the mind in the mean time.  Thus, I see, realize, and understand that facing my fears, wherein I transcend them so they no longer exist within and as me, that through this facing of my fear I can release myself from my fears once and for all and thus will no longer require to manage my fears through personality characters.  Thus, I commit myself to stopping the control freak character by reminding myself to breathe throughout the day and throughout my interactions with others wherein I enable myself to pay close attention myself so that I can see any energies, of the various characters that are coming up so that I can apply myself to stop them in real time.  I commit myself to remind myself to breathe and slow down while interacting with others so that I can align myself within and as the physical wherein I enable myself to communicate with others from a clear equal and one starting point, in real time.  I commit myself to remind myself that I cannot control or manipulate others in-fact, and that I am just creating an illusion of self-empowerment and self-protection from what I fear loosing when and as I access these characters.  I commit myself to breathe and stabilize myself and say nothing at all if that is what I require to stop participating in this character while interacting with others.  I commit myself to release myself from the control freak character by speaking self-forgiveness in real-time / right in the moment when the characters rise up within and as me, if at all possible or socially acceptable.  I commit myself to further examine my fear of loss and to work diligently to fully release myself from this fear and all fear so that I can no longer be driven by fear, but rather be driven by who I am as the physical as equal and one with all as me here – wherein from that starting point I am driven to do what is best for all, always – where no characters are directing me, but I am directing me here in every breath as life as the physical.