When and as I see myself going into my preprogrammed reactions to change, wherein I make various excuses and justifications to resist change and resist breathing and pushing through a particular point, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to create excuses and justifications to not follow-through with my self commitments – and thus I commit myself to stopping self-created resistance, as soon as I see myself doing this, by breathing-in and then breathing-out the energy into my body until I am clear. Then I commit myself to directing myself to do what I can in-fact do-and-accomplish in the amount of time that I have.
When
and as I see myself going into the reaction to
the idea of writing and the justification
that I have 'no time to write', I stop and I breathe in and out –
breathing-in
and then breathing-out
all the energy from these thoughts into my body until it
is dissipated
and I am clear and stable. Thus I commit myself to then consider
through projections and common sense, what I do in-fact have time for
and to what is practically possible within writing my Journey to
Life.
When
and as I see myself going into the fear that 'I do not have time to
write out my self forgiveness' correctly I stop myself by breathing
in and out, directing this mental energy back into my body until I am
clear and stable because I see, realize, and understand that this
fear is not real and not necessary and that I am only making
justifications to not do what I have already committed
myself to do, because the process of change is a point of resistance
that is preprogrammed-in and is the root of this fear that I am
experiencing. And thus, I commitment myself to stopping this fear of
change
and breathing through this fear until I am clear and able to direct
myself in and as the breath of life into actions that are best for
all and supportive of my transcending my mind.
When
and as I see myself going into
the emotional reaction towards writing self forgiveness that it is
'boring', I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to
participate in an emotional reaction of boredom towards the idea or
effort to write self-forgiveness.
And thus, I breathe deeply in and out until this energetic reaction
is gone and then proceed to direct myself to the task of writing, in
and as the breath, breath by breath.
When
and as I see myself going into the fear that I am not able to write
out my self-forgiveness correctly, I stop and I breathe because I
see, realize, and understand that this is another excuse,
justification used by my mind to assist in resisting change and
remaining enslaved to the energy addictions of thoughts, feelings,
emotions and the activities that I do that help keep this energetic
life experience in place. And thus I commit myself to breathing
through this fear of not being able to write correctly or thoroughly
and remaining here and breathing as the breath as life as the
physical and thereby stopping this fear and my participation in this
fear of writing correctly.
When and as I see myself going into the fear and feeling of overwhelmedness at the magnitude of this process of change, I stop and I breath because I see, realize, and understand that this is just a feeling and fear that exists in my mind as a reaction to the idea of stopping the energy addictions that I live and feed off of as a mind-consciousness system. And thus, I commit myself to breathing through these feelings and fears of overwhelmedness until I am here one and equal with the physical breathing and stable and thus I commit myself to directing myself to writing myself to freedom breath-by-breath, one day at a time.
When
and as I see myself going into the emotional reaction to writing that
“I am to stressed out from work to write because I need a form of
release” I stop my participation in these thoughts by breathing in
and out until I am stable and clear because I see, realize, and
understand that this is a polarity cycle that I have trapped myself
in wherein I have pent up negative energy from work that I need to
balance out with positive energy derived from activities that I have
predefined as 'fun' in separation of myself – and thus I commitment
to stopping this polarity cycle by breathing and stopping these
thoughts and redefining fun and stress even through further self
forgiveness if necessary.
When
and as I see myself 'looking up to' or idolizing other Destonian's as
being able to do something that I cannot do, such as write
effectively self forgiveness, I stop and I breathe because I see,
realize, and understand that this is a complete mind-fuck and
complete separation rooted in fear of myself and fear of change. And
thus I commit myself to stopping these comparisons through breathing
stopping these thoughts and then directing myself as life, one and
equal with all as me as the breath, here.
When
and as I see myself going into the belief and fear of being bored
while writing or for any reason at all, I stop and I breath, and I do
not accept and allow these thoughts, feelings, and emotions of bored
and being bored to exist within and as me for any reason whatsoever
because I see, realize, and understand that nothing is in fact fun or
boring but rather everything that I label as fun or boring is merely
labeled as such by my mind based on the amount of energy/reaction
that an activity can provide me/my mind with which is the fuel for
its/my existence as the mind consciousness system. And thus I commit
myself to extinguishing this emotional reaction of boredom from my
mind and stopping the concept of boredom from interfering with my
walk once and for all through breathing, and even writing until this
system of self-sabotage is no longer part of my daily experience.
When
and as I see myself going into self-doubt that I can pull up memories
accurately so as to sort through them and do self-forgiveness, I stop
my participation in doubting that I can remember things correctly
because I see, realize, and understand that this is a defense
mechanism by my mind to protect itself and to protect my own
self-interest in keeping things and my memories the 'way there are'
because it serves me better,
in my own self interest, that way. And thus, I commit myself to
stopping my self-doubt by breathing through this resistance until it
is gone and I am clear and then directing myself to sort out my
memories breath-by-breath and literally breathing and stopping to
breathe
while writing out my memories if while going through the process of
writing out my memories I still experience self doubt.
When
and as I see myself going into the fear that I am confused or writing
in a confusing way about a particular topic of self forgiveness, I
stop and I breathe through this fear of being confused until I am
clear and stable because I see, realize, and understand that this
fear is
yet
another creation of my mind consciousness system to resist change and
my process of change. And thus, I commit myself to breathing and
directing myself from that point of stability by stopping this fear
of being confused and
then I
simply
write
and stand with myself as my own support, as
the breath,
so as to push through this feeling of confusion
and so as to support myself as clarity and towards clarity,
breath-by-breath.
When
and as I see myself going into the excuse/justification that I have
no time to write, I stop and I believe because I see, realize, and
understand that I have been fucking myself over completely with this
imagined bullshit that is used only to direct myself into more
energetic activities most of the time. And thus I commit myself to
writing every day if possible -yet if I cannot write, it is a
practical matter, not an emotional one. And thus I also commit
myself to breathing through the idea of not having time to write
until I am clear and able to direct myself to what I do in-fact have
time to do on any particular day.
And
finally, as a matter of testing myself on this point of writing and
time and boredom and all the other justifications that I have noted –
I thus commit myself to 21 days of writing to freedom wherein I
commit myself to writing 21 days straight wherein I give myself
permission to not write every day if in fact I do not have time after
I have breathed and realized that this is so on a practical common
sense level – because there are times that my responsibilities do
in fact take-up all my time. So, this next 21 days is my test and my
push through on this point.
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