211 – SF on the topic of the ‘idea’ of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself from the starting point of the idea of myself / of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a ‘survivor’ – where I survive / I do what is needed to survive no matter what I face.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘someone who cares about this environment planet and others’ in separation from myself as who I actually am within and as my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I look good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself from the starting point of my experience of myself rather than from the starting point of self-honesty and self-awareness wherein I simply acknowledge who I am within what I am actually in-fact living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘shy’ from because of my experience of being intimidated to talk to new people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the belief that being shy meant that I was something special or different than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the belief that I am shy because I am more intelligent and thoughtful than others.  Within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I created this belief, in separation of myself, as way to support my existence as an ego / to create a positive experience of myself to counteract the negative experience that I already had of myself which caused the ‘shyness’ in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my shyness is, really in-fact, rooted in an overall experience of fear and feeling less than others / inferior to others -thus feeling bad about myself in secret / as a suppressed experience; and that within that, I created the idea of myself and justification of my ‘shyness’ in that I am this ‘superior being of special-ness and high-intelligence’ as an explanation for my condition of shyness so that I can cover up and hide from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief and idea of myself that I am a good person and that therefore I am not responsible for the suffering on this planet when in actuality I am doing everything on this planet both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ through my continued participation in my mind and the alternate reality of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress emotions of anger, anxiety, nervousness, stress, fear, frustration, and spite because these emotions do not fit into the idea of myself.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that holding an idea of myself and then suppressing everything that I see within myself that does not match the idea of myself is not going to bring about the idea of myself into a living reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of myself that I am considerate of others because that image / idea of myself makes me feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of myself so that I can feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based upon my experience of self and also my ideas of who I really want to be – all in separation from what is here as myself in-fact / as who I really am living as.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that who I am as the physical, as breath, of life is the totality of what is here already within and as how what is here is existing.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that all I have to do to see who I am living as is observe this reality as it is in absolute self-honesty.  Within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself as what is here as war, starvation, rape, murder, and all forms of abuse towards man, animal, and the planet within and as the pictures of who I am as ideas and believes that exists in my mind in separation from what is actually here as me.  

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if the idea of myself as ‘good’ were really ‘true’ then that would be reflected in a world where non-suffered and all lived a dignified life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that until this world is a world that is best for all, that I have not lived and realized myself as ‘good’ and that my ideas and definitions of self are not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in separation from what is here in this physical reality as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on my experience of myself within and as the energies of feelings and emotions – wherein I define myself within the positive and negative polarities of the mind that are not even within the point that polarity is of energy, energy requires substance to support its existence and thus ends when there is no more resources available.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am energy and the experience of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not obtain energy / the experience of energy which is the experience of emotions and feelings – that I am not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defined myself / my existence on energy and my experience of energy as the mind in separation of myself as the physical source of energy.
I commit myself to live here as the physical, as the breath, of life – undefined wherein I see, realize, and understand that everything that is here is manifested of me and my starting point of living as an idea of myself.  Thus, I commit myself to live here and see myself for what I am - which is reflected in everything that is here both within my internal experience and without which is this reality as a whole; and within that move myself into the living reality of what is here of no definition, no ideas or beliefs of self – just simply living here as the physical, as breath, where I end my existence as a mind so that I can manifest a world that is best for all, which will only be the real me when and as this reality changes to reflect this as physical fact.