I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be directed by the energy of desire.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be directed by the energy of desiring to smoke weed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be directed by the energy of boredom.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that boredom exists.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that ‘I am missing out when I see others smoking weed around me.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that weed can give me something that I don’t already have.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that weed can only offer me an experience of energy
that feels like a ‘high’ where my mind is ‘buzzing’ for a few hours with
thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical sensations ONLY to eventually fade
and leave me back where I started within and as the energy of boredom. Within this, I forgive myself that I have
not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that weed is like an abusive
friend who only comes around for a while and then eventually leaves you.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
compare myself to others around me who are smoking weed and then believe that
they are having more fun than me and then become jealous of them as if they are
living something that I am not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
participate in the thoughts, comparisons, judgments, pictures, ideas, and
imaginations in my mind where I create an alternate reality within and as
myself of me missing out on all the fun when if I am not able to have any type
of substance to enhance my experience of myself while at a social gathering.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I cannot have any real fun at a social gathering without at least
some type of mind-altering substance to enhance my experience of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be step into the experience character where I am directed by the experience of
feeling bored and like I need something to ‘pick me up’ where within and as my
participation in this character I completely forget about the fact that I am
actually a physical being that does not require an energy experience to live
and be here, whole and complete.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that the only thing that I am missing out on is an
artificially induced energy experience of and within the mind that is not
actually even real.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that my desire to smoke weed to give me an energetic
experience that I have defined myself as ‘feeling good and enjoyment’ within
and as myself shows me that I have separated myself from myself within those
points be delegating those points to be lived for me through energy instead of
me standing and living those points as myself as the physical.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that if I were living here as the physical as the
breath in every breath, then I would not need any type of energetic experience,
induced by a substance or not, to live for me that what I have separated myself
from.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
separate myself from myself within the points of enjoyment and living life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that ‘living life is about living experiences of the mind’ instead of
realizing that living life is something that I am already doing here in each
and every breath and that all that I need to do is align myself and merge
myself within and as my physical body and live here, where I have been the whole
time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
compare myself to others and then believe that they are living something that I
am not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
hold the belief that I must at least have some form of a substance, like pot,
alcohol, cigarettes, food, etc., while at a social gathering, in order to
really enjoy myself which is based on memories of my doing so in the past, my
seeing others doing so in the past, and memories of myself and others saying
these things in the past. Thus, I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by
memories wherein through this I am just living in the past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
relate to weed in that I believe that it can give me something that I don’t
actually have when I see, realize, and understand that weed can only give me
the experience of that what I seek, but not the actuality of it – as the
actuality of that what I seek is a living physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
‘sell-out’ for the experience of that what I seek instead of actually living
that what I seek as me. In this case, I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘sell-out’ for the
experience of feeling good, feeling like I am living, feeling like I am having
fun, feeling relaxed – instead living those points as who I am in every breath
as the physical where if I were to do so, I would have no need for the
experience of such things because I am already living them.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see,
realize, and understand that my desire to smoke weed to give me the experience
of feeling relaxed, feeling like I am having fun, feeling like I am living life
– shows me that I have separated myself from living relaxed, fun, living life
as myself in every breath as who I am -
through judging who I am and that what I do as negative and boring in
separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
judge simply being here and breathing as ‘negative and boring’ where within
this, I create within and as myself the desire to have a ‘pick-me-up’
experience so that I can feel like I am having fun and enjoying myself when I
see, realize, and understand that within this I am just cycling myself in
positive and then negative energy experiences that will never end until I
finally take my stand and start living these points as who I am in every
breath, as a living physical being in need of no energy experience to direct
me, to enhance my life and my living, nor to define me.
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