Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Day 259 – Who am I within money?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘successful’ only when and, as I am able to make a lot of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the color green that is on dollar bills to success.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the idea of being successful as positive  / good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my self-worth in the amount of money that I can make within the point that the more money that I make the more self-worth that I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others who make more money than I make, especially if they are younger than me, and then to judge them as better-than / more-than me if they make more money, or appear to make more money, than I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through judging those who make more money than I do as ‘better than / more than’ me, create and connect fear / a fear reaction to expressing myself while in their presence where I then suppress my main ‘personality’ so that they will not judge me as inferior to them.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my main personality as negative / bad / unsuccessful because of the fact that I have not been able to make a lot of money in this world system as it exists now.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold spite towards others who make more money than me within this realization that it is just their pre-programmed design that allows them to do so and thus they are not really living as their true self-expression and thus they are only ‘successful’ incidentally due to their pre-programmed personality design and thus within that point, I am at least equal to them because we are all in fact just living out our pre-programmed design- and that within that point, I see myself as superior to them because I am at least able to see through the veil that is the mind and thus within this point, I spite them in my mind as if I am really superior to them because they are just living out their illusion / pre-programmed existence as ‘successful’ in this system while I am at least self-aware of this point.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be competing with others for supremacy within the point of self-awareness, because making lots of money isn’t working, not realizing that this is actually another energy system / trap of the mind that I am suppressing myself within and as and thus again enslaving myself into the polarity equation of superior / inferior instead of just living here as a true equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself a separate personality for dealing with and interacting with successful people who are better off than me financially – where I tense-up and consider / judge every word that comes out of my mouth before speaking to ensure that I do not say things that will reveal to them that I am inferior / less than. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the desire to become rich like them so that I can be equal to those who make lots of money and thus alleviate my fear and anxiety while in their presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with all life on earth for supremacy within the point of making as much money as I can so that I can experience myself as the ultimate winner – not considering the consequences that I am creating through this such as war, starvation, poverty, and the destruction to our environment. 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eventually change my point of competition to competing on an intellectual level within the point that ‘over the course of my life, making lots of money never happened or hasn’t happened yet’ and thus within that now I compete on an intellectual level within the point of ‘I am the smartest of all.’

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that what I am doing within competing for money so that I can fulfill my desires to see myself as the winner, as superior, as the coolest being on earth is that I am at war with others within my own mind and thus supporting war within this world because within this I am giving permission for others to do the same as me and this is expressed within the war that is here within the point that those who have the power to wage war are doing the same thing – exerting their supremacy through competing for resources and money so that they can live the expression of being the ultimate winners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that competing to be the ultimate winner which is reflected in having the ultimate personality design manifestation that can bring the most self worth which is equated to financial worth is rooted in a fear of death / a fear for survival which is of the mind and of energy because energy always collapse back into its source – the physical, and thus within this I am living as an expression of energy – fearing for my survival and doing everything in my power to evade death. 

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