Day 312 - I am not Information

A point that I have been seeing for some time now and also comes up every now and then is that 'I am not information.' What I mean by this, is there is certain information that I have acquired throughout my life that I have identified with as 'this is it! this is the right information! Within this information, I am right! This is the right model of reality!”; and when this information gets challenged by someone, essentially / usually who has identified with other information, this triggers a fear reaction within me like 'no, my information is right and I must prove this to you and you must acknowledge my information verbally right now otherwise I wont feel so cool!” And like from that point forward, thoughts, reasons, rationals, justifications, and explanations of why my information, that I have identified with, is correct and my 'opponents' is wrong, start to race through my head like swirling around in circles / cyclones / tornadoes of energy inside my mind- that charge me up into a frenzy wherein I just cannot 'resist' blurting it all out so in an effort to instantly prove my information to be correct and simultaneously get the 'opponent' to admit this so that I can feel validated! God Dammit! LOL. What the fuck? This is an 'embarrassing' and pointless trait that only reveals to me that I am living as information and not life. Also, I use the word 'opponent' because whomever has conflicting information to my information moves, in my mind, from friend to competitor where all the sudden I am in a competition to be one with the ultimate information. And also, this reactions don't happen with just 'information' that I have, but the information has to have an emotional component to it as well, like a point in time in the past where this information made me feel 'good / right / justified / happy, etc of which is an emotional feeling body that I created within and as myself to this 'information' that thus moved this information from just information into a belief system that I created within and as myself. In other words, how do you check yourself to see if you have belief systems? Just see if you react to others who challenge your information and if you do, you are operating within a belief system. Because otherwise, its just fucking information, right?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the information that I acquire. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that information is not me, it is just fucking information – and that's it.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I react in fear, and then go into the desire to compete and thus have my information justified, that this in-effect, shows me that I have turned information into a belief system and also have thus identified with information as if it is me, when it is just information. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if information is simply stored as information within and as me, and that's it, then I would have no reactions to this information when contradicting information is voiced, because it is just information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am information and thus have my very existence threatened when and as my 'information' is challenged by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach emotional bodies of excitement, validation, feeling right, feeling good, feeling justified, feeling like I am the one, feeling like I finally have the answers, to information; thus turning information into a belief system that I will defend, because when this information is challenged is challenged, I immediately experience the negative emotional body equation, which feels like shit and thus acts as a trigger to have me go into fighting and competing to have my information validated, once again, so that I can return to feeling good about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a mind-possession of competing and fighting to have my information as belief systems validated once again, after the trigger of having my information challenged has happened – wherein, in this mind possession, I am totally mind possessed and thus not here and thus completely controlled by the energies of my mind, just like a robot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the point of being mind-possessed with the desire to have my information validated by those who have challenged my information as belief systems when I experience the trigger of having my information challenged.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am not information, that I am a physical being, just like everything and everyone else that is here. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that as a physical being, I could care less about the information that I have acquired being 'challenged' by others because I am not information – in fact, as a physical being, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand awesomeness of having my information challenged by others within the point that this gives me the opportunity to always be able to upgrade my information to more correct information through the process of bouncing my information off others. Thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as a mind, that must defend its information, because that is all a mind is – information, when in fact, I am a physical being that just simple uses information and thus as a physical being I really have no need to defend or be validated by information whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when others challenge my information, that this is a gift because within this I have the opportunity to check to see if I have reactions to my information being challenged and thus check myself to see if I have turned information into a belief system that I have identified with as who I am – and thus, if so, I can forgive myself so as to release this information as a belief system from 'me here' so that I can live here as a physical being, instead of an information processing center.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to having my information as belief systems challenged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have my information as belief systems being challenged act as a trigger for me to react in fear, and then also react with back-chat / conversations in my mind where I justify, explain, validate my information to myself thus working myself up into a frenzy / energetic reaction to the point that I feel as if I just cannot resist blurting it out and thus taking a fighting / competing position in order to validate myself / my information as belief systems. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have literally accepted and allowed myself to become information / energy / the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with feeling stupid to the trigger of my information being challenged, when I see, realize, and understand that it is just information and has nothing to do with me and who I am as a physical being. In fact, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that as a physical being, I am and we are all equal in that we are all made of the exact same material as substance and thus have the exact same potential regardless of information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my information as 'right' and others information that contradicts my information as 'wrong'. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as the 'savior' of those who have 'wrong' information where I am here to save them from their folly and get them to change their information to be in alignment with my 'correct' information. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger, frustration, and self-righteousness when and as 'others' show resistance to accepting my information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the need to have my information 'validated' by others within the form of having others say to me 'you're right! I was wrong!', when in fact, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this need for validation shows me that I am living as / have identified with / have defined myself as this information and thus am not really living here as a physical.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I live here as a physical being, that that means that I would never react to having my information challenged because I am not information and thus can easily upgrade / update my information as well as dismiss information that has been shown to me to not be correct, with no problem whatsoever because it is just information and has nothing to do with me here. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that regardless of whether the information that I have acquired is correct or not, I am still, as a physical being equal in all ways and thus am separating myself within this point of reacting to information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with feelings that I might by inferior when and as others have information that contradicts mine. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this act as a trigger for me to defend my information and compete for supremacy so that I can feel good again about who I am as information.

When and as I see myself going into a reaction of fear, the need for validation, the need to compete, the need to prove myself right, and self-righteousness, all to the trigger of having my information as belief systems with emotional bodies challenged, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow this because I see, realize, and understand that I am not information and information does not define me in anyway whatsoever. Thus, I commit myself to remind myself of this, and then breathe deeply in and out as I gather these energy reactions in my chest and move them out of my physical body until I am clear. From here, I commit myself to communicate with others from an 'equal and one / physical' starting point where I walk within the realization that 'I am not information / information does not define me / my information being shown to be wrong does not reflect on me as a physical being / that I can update my information if needle and this would not reflect on me as being dumb, or less than / that I am not defined by information / I am defined by what I do in every-breath here. I see, realize, and understand that just because I have not considered something that others have, does not mean that I have to defend myself or compete for supremacy, all it means is that I have the opportunity, brought by others, to update my information to be more correct, if indeed it is with no reflection of who I am as a being. It is just information after all.