Day 130 - The Perfect Driving Experience

My 'perfect' driving experience is where everyone drives about 10 to 20 miles per hour over the posted speed limit in all areas, including most residential areas, rolls stop signs, turns right on reds - when I percieve they are clear to go, and merges on interstates at AT LEAST the speed limit.

Yes, there you have it. That is how I roll (drive, lol), and is my idea of the perfect driving experience. LOL. Yet, probably less than 5% of the driving population follows these 'ideals' and that I see as a big problem.

Look, I don't have any accidents on my record, and no tickets. I figure that if I can drive like this and the cops can't catch me and no one has been injured as a result by it, then fair is fair – obviously I am driving safe. Now, I carry this expectation that everyone should drive like this. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to zip around town, getting to where one needs to go, in a flash?

Its such a let-down to have to drive behind someone who drives under the speed limit. I get very frustrated. I don't get road-rage, but I do tail gate the slow drivers as a form of 'punishment' and also in some vain attempt to get them to go faster; and I talk shit under my breathe while driving behind them. I get this like tension, and ask questions to my self like 'what the fuck is their point?' and 'why can't they just go faster?' I think to myself that these slow drivers are 'not being considerate of other's – they are not being considerate of me! All they care about is themselves! And they suck at driving!'

The worst is when I am behind someone who is merging on the interstate at like 40MPH when the speed limit, and the flow of traffic mind you, is like 70MPH! This I get personally offended at – as I see my life being put in danger by these slow ass drivers whose slow merging speed is forcing me to have my back-end exposed to oncoming traffic traveling almost twice my speed! And this is like most drivers merge like this! I get really pissed. I think to myself that I should not have to go through this every fucking everytime that I get on the interstate! What's wrong with everyone?! Doesn't everyone see how dangerous it is to merge UNDER the fucking speed limit?!' At this, I do experience a bit of road-rage as I take this almost personally. Often times I speed-up and actually pass these people in the merging lane BEFORE being fully entered onto the interstate, while peering right into their driver-side window, as a form of 'chastisement', showing them how it's done! LOL. I laugh at myself, not is support of my actions, but in amazement and almost disbelief, lol.

I find myself weaving in and out of traffic throughout town. Never satisfied with going the speed that other driver's find to be adequate. I expect other's to drive like me and see 'safe speeds' like I do. So, I am in this constant state of disappointment, haste, tension, and blame – while driving. And the ridiculous thing is that I can never change this. This is just how it is. People drive the way people drive.

So, I ask myself, 'why do I hold these expecatations of the perfect driving experience?” And 'why do I get so frustrated when I am not experiencing this?” and 'Why does it even matter how fast I drive from point A to point B?” and within all this one comes to the obvious conclusion that it really makes no difference at all how fast one is driving from point A to point B. Driving faster will only shave off minutes from one's journey, in most cases. Like “I don't have minutes to spare or something?”

So, I accept and allow myself to feel 'tense', to get 'frustrated', and then to blame other's for getting in the way of my expectations of the 'perfect driving experience' all because of why? And 'what is this doing to my physical body?” And why can't I let this go? Why do I feel that I have to 'punish' these drivers or let them know that they are 'inconsiderate'? Why can't I just breathe and be here while driving? Why do I hold these expectations and refuse to let them go as if I will be allowing others to abuse me and my 'rights' on the road if I do so? I mean these are the actual positions that I 'hold'. Like 'I can't let this guy get away with this! I can't let him merge at 40 MPH on the interstate without letting him know what an ass he is!”

Blame, blame, blame, that's the name of the game. And why do I even have expectations of the 'perfect driving experince?” And why do I see myself as superior to others who do not drive like me?

I will pick up on this tomorrow.