Day 127 – I Commit Myself to Birthing Myself as Life, from the Physical, Part I

I watched a cool video on personalities and who we can change in a quantum moment into the personality that we need to be in order to get what we want or in order to not half to face consequences. We can create an entire personality system-design in a quantum moment in order to avoid consequences, etc. This is amazing as having this brought to my awareness I see myself doing this all the time. I even have an element of pride attached to how well I can do this. I am prideful of how well I can change and 'morph' into what it is and who it is I need to be to get what I want and to avoid consequences. I am proud of the personalities that I have designed myself as within looking at the results of my life and the apparent control that I have over my 'reality'.

I am not prideful in an overt or outwardly 'arrogant' way, just in the background of my mind. I can see my thoughts speaking things like 'your pretty cool', 'that was cool', 'you did it', 'wow' – and then I take little pleasures secretly in those thoughts and observations of who I am within and as my multiple personalities that are designed to help me get what I want.

This is really fucked up, but this is how we all are. We are all in competition for who has the coolest set of personalities and the proof is like how cool our lives are. And then we compare our lives as the proof of how clever our personality designs are. We compare our lives to each others and then rate ourselves, like on a scale. Like, I'm pretty cool, but not as cool as that guy. Or, I would be as cool as that guy if I had what he had – as he has an advantage being born in that situation, etc.

And all this goes on in my head, and all this goes on in all our heads. This is the ego. The ego being the totality of all our personalities, and self-definitions all wrapped up into one mind-consciousness system placement within a matrix of ego's – all competing to be the top dog / the top ego.

That's why we worship celebrities and rich people and sports superstars, because we all want to be in that same situation. We see these people as who we want to be. And we are inspired by them, yet we are only 'inspired' by them because of our own existent desire to be like them that already exists within ourselves within our own drive to be on top which is our ego. So, we see them and want to live that success vicariously through them through the worship of these people. And all of this is a mind-based egoic delusion, creating separation – and believe it or not, creating the our very position of the lessor or the greater in the polarized equations of consciousness.

So, all this is why the world is all fucked up. It's got to stop. My existence as a multiple personalities all wrapped up into one cozy egoic mind-fuck system, has got to stop. The ego and all that comes with it is a system that requires energy to exist. It is not real. It is artificial life. It is rooted in fear. The fear of facing the fact that we might actually be little nothings, that have absolutely no significance whatsoever, so we want to make ourselves a 'great' as possible. We make ourselves as big as possible within and as our own imaginations, our own minds through comparison and competition.

But all this requires so much energy. This requires so much or our attention, that we miss what is really going on right here. Right here, this physical reality is reflecting back to us, to me, the consequences of living within and as the mind-fuck of the ego which is rooted in fear of self. And the consequences are not good. Just look around. Consider the oceans, the forests, the air, the animals – all of it in decline. Consider the endless garbage that we produce. Consider that there are so many suffering of starvation and disease. Consider the fact that there is so much confusion within how things really work. I mean, do you really know how the government works or who the fuck is really running things? Can you really prove anything regardless of all the so-called 'research' out there? Do you really know how you got here, or what your 'purpose' is, really? Can you really say for sure? Can you really trust anything in this reality the way we have defined it, and the way that it is presented?

Well, you can trust physical reality in that, at face value, it is telling you that obviously something is amiss. Yet, what you cannot trust is that you actually know how anything works around here. And that 's because you are, we are, living as ego on autopilote within any awareness of how our minds really work. And that is why our world continues to decay and deteriorate without anyone really knowing why our how to stop it.

But I will tell you why. It is because we live in the artificial reality of the individual ego. We don't and are not living in this physical reality as it really exists, here. We cannot even see things for what they are. We cannot see that 2 billion people starving is a fucking problem, for instance. We cannot see the simple point that because we don't really know how reality really works, that this is showing us that we don't know how we really work or how our minds really work. And if we don't know how we really work or what we are really creating through our blind existence of living as ego, the ego of the mind, then we are destined for eternal fuckedness – and this reality, this physical reality is showing us this right now. This physical reality is screaming at us – to stop! See what you are doing!!!

Let's wake up together. Let's wake up individually. Let's realize that we are all equal in power to do something about this because everything starts with self.

I will pick up tomorrow.