Day 136 – SF on 'Expecting the World to Wake Up', continued

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold expectations of others to be 'more than who they are' in that they 'should be investigating everything of themselves and this world within self-honesty' and when they don't meet my expectations I then categorize them as not worthy of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a whole belief system that 'others should be investigating themselves and this world, as it really is, within the starting point of self- honesty and oneness and equality', classifying those who do as 'special and even superior', and then feeling special, superior, and excited when hearing or reading the words of these beings- all of which, is a 'positive' emotional experience that I create within myself, which are my reactions to others who fulfill the picture presentation of my belief systems, ideals, and expectations. But on the flip-side, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become aggravated, offended, even angry and then judge those as 'inferior', who do not fulfill these expectations – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am the one who gave permission to this expectation to exist within and as myself through the belief that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe to be real and true.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to, through my participation within these expectations, create a 'want / desire' within and as myself where I would want / desire another person to behave in a particular way and say and write particular things, and to present themselves in a certain way – as 'one who really cares about life, etc', that fulfill a picture presentation in my mind, based on my beliefs and expectations, that I myself created within and as the energy of my mind, in separation of what is really here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea within and as myself of what it means to be 'one who really cares about life' and through this I forgive myself that I did not see, realize, and understand that the definition that I had created of 'caring about life' consists of a picture where I see others who 'care about life' as being dedicated to writing and expressing themselves within self-honesty - where beings investigate everything and come to the same conclusions that I do about everything, and are basically, at least, in the same place as I am in my process of transcending the mind – where I within and as this picture feel very good about myself and through this I forgive myself that I did not see realize and understand that it is this good feeling that I DESIRE to experience within and as myself which is generated by others fulfilling my own picture presentations / and expectation that exist within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strengthen my ego, my existence as a separate ego mind-consciousness placement unit within a matrix of minds, enslavement to the mind and energy, by judging of others as 'less than and inferior to me both in intelligence and in integrity' when others do not fulfill my ideas, beliefs, and expectations that exist within and as pictures in my own mind of what it means to 'care about life', and then within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my reactions of anger and frustration towards these beings within the point of blame where I am thus blaming others for fucking up this whole world because, in essence, they are not fulfilling my picture presentation of what it would look like if they where really here supporting life.