Day 135 – SF on 'Expecting the World to Wake Up'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within my mind ideas and beliefs in which I project a version of this reality that I would like to exist within and as - where everyone 'wake's up' to what is really in-fact going on in this physical reality and then actually has the desire within themselves to explore themselves and this world in order to manifest a solution to the problems of this world as they really are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowd myself to hold the expectation within myself that 'people should wake-up and start exploring / investigating themselves and this reality for what it really, physically, is' and then when I come across those who do not, I become very upset, frustrated, and aggravated and then judge these people to be lazy, self-centered, robotic, lifeless, brainwashed, assholes who care nothing about life and nothing about anything but themselves.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that cloaked within my expectation that other's 'wake-up' is a desire that I hold for others to give me the experience of satisfaction, encouragement, and even excitement when and as others respond in like-kind within the point of 'waking up' – that I am obviously not giving to myself and looking for this in others to give it to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within my mind an idea of what it means to 'wake-up' / and have other's 'wake up' as a picture presentation, as what it would look like in the physical, and charged this picture presentation 'positively' - and thus try to manifest this picture presentation that exist's within and as my mind in this physical reality by provoking others to act in ways that fulfills this picture presentation that exists within and as my mind by asking them questions and confronting them – all so that I can have a positive, emotional / feeling experience within self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make out others who do not fulfill my picture presentation of what it means to 'wake-up' as the 'villians' and as the 'cause' for why this world is the way that it is – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the way this world is and thus negate my own self-responsibilty for this existence as it is now. And within this blame and villinization of others who do not fulfull my picture presentation of a being who 'is awake' thus letting down my expectations in this matter, - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at these people and at society at large and to justify this anger within seeing myself as better-than, and even victimized by those who refuse to wake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have expectations of others to 'wake-up' and when they do not meet my expectations I would categorise them as a person that is not worthy of me, as a point of superiortity – where superiour beings are awake and waking-up and inferior beings are yet sleeping and refusing to wake-up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the belief within myself that 'people should wake-up and start asking questions and investigating themselves and this world for what it really is' and within this create an entire class system of beings where those who are actually waking-up are considered 'special' and 'important' and those who remain asleep are considered 'lifeless, self-centered, and brainwashed – and actually the problem' – when I see, realize, and understand that everything is self, and of self, and a reflection of self thus all and everyone is actually one and equal showing me only who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become thus there is no class system – only self.

To be continued...