Day 126 – SF on My Ego, continued

 

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the ego enjoys conflict, fighting, and arguments and thus will always attempt and try to get involved with such situations – to step forth and say 'here I am, come and try and fuck with me and I'll show you who I am'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the rush of 'proving that I am right'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need the ego to be strong and powerful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by becoming the ego, by presenting a deceptive picture of myself to others of me being superior, will actually protect me, and get me what I desire in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being perceived as inferior.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the ego of my mind always desires and needs fighting, conflict, and arguments to generate and power itself within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the ego of the mind is generated and strengthened through anger, frustration, hatred, blame, and will / I will seek as the ego of my mind to get involved in situations to instigate such emotions within me to generate and strengthen my ego.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the ego is the echo of the mind, the lost part of me that I have separated myself from, becoming the demon within me existing off the generation and instigation of anger, frustration, and hatred.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the ego is the representation of the demon within me – the part of me that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from because I could not imagine such a 'thing' to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to split me from myself within me, manifesting the demon as the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that inferiority. Is actually: in fear and horror of me, of facing me, in fear and horror of facing the demon that I have become as the ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the ego of the mind to manipulate situations to have it my way.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when the ego is 'bruised' the ego will want to fight and set the record straight through seeking revenge and more conflicts and arguments, to regenerate itself and feel superior again.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have manifested and designed this ego because I have not accepted myself and lived within and as oneness and equality as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cover up and hide my since of inferiority and uncertainty with ego as superiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as smart and smarter than others and in this desire I have manifested the ego because I believed myself to be less intelligent than most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being dumb.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that dumbness exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the polarity friction game of the mind by becoming superior and hiding inferiority and uncertainty within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the ego of the mind exists of suppressed anger within me, which has manifested as the ego of the mind, the demon that I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress anger within me and thus manifest myself as the ego of the mind in which I exert out and express out on other beings within various situations separate from me here – instead of applying self forgiveness on my anger thus releasing it instead of suppressing it and then aligning myself within oneness and equality instead of within and as the ego.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I will instigate situations and scenarios deliberately to exert the suppressed anger within me out on others separate from me and thus becoming the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have used the ego of the mind to get attention and to be noticed by others and scene as together, and smart, and on top of things because I haven't accepted myself as who I am within and as oneness and equality, within who I am here within each and every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the ego of the mind in justifying my actions, reactions and responses.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I derive power from the ego of the mind to have control of a situation to have it go my way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in becoming the ego of my mind, I am just one of the guys and that I will attract women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ego of my mind by defining myself as superior within the point of how attractive a woman I can 'get' as compared to what I see others doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ego of my mind by competing with others and other men in regards to seeing how much money I can make.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to 'fit in' with the society of men – because as a man I must have an ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to establish myself as the ego of the mind because I believed that for a man to be successful in this world a man needs an ego to protect himself with and also to exert his superiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the ego of the mind to ensure that no-one can hurt me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having an ego is being strong and powerful – a man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can control my world within my exertion of myself as the ego of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ego of the mind through fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the losing of me and who I have defined myself as within superiority when others label me or call me out as something inferior, and then react within and as the ego of the mind to re-assert myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that superiority cannot exist without inferiority and that both polarities are of the mind and are illusionary manifestations of the mind that exist as a consequence of what I have defined myself as, within who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to be accepted and noticed by others and by women because I haven't accepted myself as how I am as the breath of life as oneness and equality and as one with and as everything that I see acceptance from.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that impatience is a trait of the ego because ego wants it now.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that women like and want a man with an ego, presenting a deceptive presentation of superiority and confidence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ego of my mind to attract women for sexual pleasure.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define the ego as confidence because I haven't accepted confidence as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as the ego of the mind to get what I want and desire from others as if I am not that already, in separation of myself here, thus creating an energetic experience of myself that is not real and not sustainable.