I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to connect making Vlogs of my process to the
thought that 'I cannot make a Vlog because I do not understand that
material completely'
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to participate in the thought that 'I might be
shown to be ignorant or confused about the what it means to be 'here'
as life if I make a Vlog'
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear being shown to be 'igorant' or 'confused'
if I were to make a vlog.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe that 'I can only make a vlog if I
understand everything completely and totally.'
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not trust myself to make a Vlog, and within
this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
place my self-trust in the knowledge and information that I have
acquired, instead of me here in every breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to separate myself from my own self trust in defining
and placing my trust within something or someone separate from me.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to separate myself from myself by defining my trust
within knowledge and information that I have acquired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place my self-trust in others, because I am too
afraid to take responsibility for myself, my life, and my creation as
this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to say that other Destonians are more
'knowledgable' / further along in their process than me so that I can
abdicate my responsibility for this world, to them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to compare myself to others and other destonians
and then to go into the reaction of fear and resistance to making
vlogs/exposing myself to be 'inferior' to others/them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place my trust in others, separate from me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place my trust outside of myself, because I am
afraid of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to be afraid of myself and therefore not place
trust within myself.
More on Self-Trust:
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to try to get other people to trust me, because if
they trust me, I can manipulate and control them.
I forgive myself that for not accepting
and allowing myself to realize that if I place my trust another, then
when they betray and deceive me that this is equal and one to my
starting point of self-deception within placing my trust outside of
me.
I forgive myself that I have not
allowed myself to realize that therefore betrayal does not actually
exist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to be angry with other people for betraying me,
not realizing that I betrayed myself within the very starting point
of trusting them in the first place, and therefore, I am responsible
and cannot blame them for my feeling of being betrayed.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to rely on memories to tell me what to do and who to
be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to trust my mind to tell me what to do and who to
be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place trust in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place my trust in my memories.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place my trust in the amount of knowledge and
information that I have acquired/memorized, and to within that I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly
judge my knowledge and information that I have acquired as
'insufficient and incomplete and therefore inadequate to make Vlogs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility to my mind
rather than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to diminish my self-trust through continuously
choosing my mind over me, following what my mind tells me to do,
suppressing myself, instead of doing and saying what I see requires
to be done or spoken in the moment within breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to desire to manipulate other beings through NOT
making vlogs within the point of NOT revealing myself and where I am
in my process, so that I can hide from being seen as not knowing what
I am doing within my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear being seen as not knowing what I am doing
in my process, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to try to manipulate others perceptions of me by
hiding within the point of not making vlogs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place my trust outside of myself, because I am
afraid of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility to make vlogs and
document my process as much as possible.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that
self-trust exists within the moment of breath – when I don't rely
on past/memories to tell me what to do and who to be, but apply
self-honesty as me 'here' and express myself accordingly, in the
moment of breath.
I forgive myself that I have not
accepted and allowed myself to simply be 'here' and express myself in
every moment of breath, as the breath, as the physical, as life –
but instead I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to only express myself as the memories of the knowledge, information,
and understanding that I have acquired – and thus I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to therefore compare the
knowledge and information of others to my knowledge and information
and then become fearful that I will be exposed for being 'inferior'
in my knowledge and information that I have acquired, ignoring the
fact that this entire construct is of the mind and does not actually
exist and has nothing to do with real self-expression and who I am
within and as the breath.
I forgive myself that I have not
accepted and allowed myself to develop self-trust within the point of
breathing and expressing myself within and as the breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to place my trust within my mind and the
accumulation of knowledge and information and understanding, instead
of me here.
Self Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself going into
resistance to making vlogs because I do not trust myself to be able
to express myself as life of life, within and as the knowledge and
understanding of what it means to be life and of life, I stop and I
breathe, because I see, realize, and understand that I am thus
placing my trust within the knowledge, information, and understanding
that I have acquired and then comparing myself to others and then
judging myself as 'inferior' to others as a result – all of which
does not really exist and is a complete mind-fuck because I have not
trusted myself within and as each breath, here as life – and
therefore I have not allowed /trusted myself to express myself as the
breath, here, spontaneously, within each and every breath.
And thus, I commit myself to remain here and breathe and place myself self-trust within myself 'here' and then express myself within each breath that I take from the starting point of directing myself to simply do what is best for all and required to do in every moment of breath, here – without thinking about it / judging it / comparing myself / and placing my self trust within and as my knowledge and information on any given topic.
I commit myself to placing my trust within and as self of no mind, of no conditions, but I simply trust myself within each and every breath, here.
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