Friday, January 17, 2014

Day 117 – Regret Continued / Stuck in the Past

Ok, so I was listening to an interview by Sunette titled 'Regret It's Too Late' and a very interesting point she brought up basically clarified what I wrote about yesterday:

Now –that experience of ‘longing’ as ‘missing’ that you’re experiencing, actually originates from a point of regret. The point of regret is then cloaked or veiled with this energetic experience of ‘longing’ or ‘missing’.”

I find this an amazing statement because on yesterday's post I mentioned how I have this 'nostalgia' for the past, particularly my late childhood through early adult years, to go back to it, to re-live it, as if I miss it even. I mentioned how I had a 'nostalgia' as well as a regret about the past, but I did not realize at the time I wrote that that the nostalgia is a result of the regret I hold. This is pretty cool.

Then Sunette went on to say the following:

What regret manifests, in relation to your physical experience in your beingness, is like ‘holes’ in your experience, wherein these ‘holes’ create the experiential idea, perception, and belief that you are ‘incomplete’ and ‘unfulfilled’. That ‘incompleteness’ and ‘unfulfillment’ creates then an idea, perception, or belief of ‘lack’. That ‘lack’ then manifests as the experience of sadness, where you think or believe that your ‘unfulfillment’ or ‘emptiness’ or ‘holes’ within yourself is then related to or towards this something or someone that has passed away or has died”

Yep, this is me to the tee. I have this exact experience within myself towards those years from late childhood through early adulthood. These years I went into an extreme shyness. I never stood-up to speak my mind to say how I felt. I want to / desire to relive the past to recreate it even in my present moment wherein I strive to make my current environment resemble / feel like the past / like that specific time period in my life. I have a 'sadness' about the past too. This is so interesting.

I also am nostalgic / regretful about the time when I grew up in my house on Van Ness. This is even earlier in my life. During this time, within and as my memory of this time, I had the 'best time' of my life. Best as defined in a way wherein it was the most 'magical', the most 'ideal' – I have found memories of this time. This was the time when I was a young child and had all of my brothers living with me. I had 3 adopted brothers that were older. They lived with me off and on. I had my father and my mother both living together with me in that house. I went to a 'gifted and talented' school for 7th and 8th grade during those years. I have found memories of this time too. I had lots of friends. There were good times, lots of pool parties and birthdays. I was taking piano lessons and was in jazz band. My father was a successful attorney. My house was big. I was proud of my house. We had a huge yard, lots of cool trees, a pond and a pool, 5 bedrooms, a huge living room, etc. I had lots of fun events at my house, my parents would through cool parties. I was popular at school – yet still had the seeds of this extreme shyness that I would experience later on – as I had lots of moments were I would be afraid to speak / speak-up for myself.

Then my parents got divorced. My mom and dad lived in different homes. My best friend got held back a year because he was 'too im-mature'. I went to high-school all alone. I guess I was in shock and then went into a shyness. Then, shortly later my mother took my younger brother and I (her natural kids) and moved to New Orleans LA leaving the rest of my family behind in Fresno CA. Then for like, 10 or 12 years, I became super shy, had few friends, and only memories of my past as my life experience completely changed from this point on.

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