Day 168 – BDMWP, Part VII – SF on ‘Blaming my Parents’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat over the years like ‘I would have been happier and more confident if my mother did not take me from both of my fathers.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the ‘victim’ of having my biological father ‘disappear’ where as the victim, I do not have to take self-responsibility but can blame others, in this case my mother for who I am today and who I have created myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind the blame character where I don’t have to take self-responsibility for who I am today, but can blame my mother for assisting in the ‘wounding of myself as a child’ by not doing more to ensure that my biological father was there to raise me and then my adopted father as well, but instead she chose to ‘run’ and take us / me and my brother from both our fathers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to craft an entire story to ‘explain’ who I am today as a ‘wounded child’ that whose ‘selfish’, ‘frantic’ mother assisted in wounding me by taking me from both my biological father and my adopted father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother who took me away from both of my fathers for my feelings of inferiority / my inferiority complex.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within this blame I am abdicating myself self-responsibility to myself to stand and be here as my own support to work with me as my own parent to assist myself to sort out my past and heal myself from any ‘psychological’ damage that I may have incurred in the past – as I alone am to blame for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach emotional / feeling values to experiences I had in the past, in this case where I was ‘taken’ from my adopted father I had defined this as ‘wrong / bad’ and become angry about this; and then define having stayed with my adopted father as ‘right / good which then leads me into the character of 'I could have been so much better off had it not been for my mother.'