Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Day 183 - BDMWP, Part 18-Who I Am Within Communication, Part 7 – Self-Suppression Character

When and as I see myself stepping into the self-suppression character when in the presence of others of whom I have judged to be 'good-looking', and / or 'more financially successful than me', I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to go into the self-suppression character as a way to hide my 'personality' so that I won't be judged to be inferior within the point of being considered to be 'stupid', 'unworthy', or 'dull / boring' while in their presence.

Thus, I commit myself breath and remain here while in the presence of beings that I have judged in this manner wherein I remain here in breath instead of suppressing the things that come to my that I would normally say or do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and then rate myself on a scale as to how I 'stack-up' within my looks and my financial success where if and when I see myself as inferior in these points I then step into the self-suppression character so that I can hide from these people and then not be judged or seen by them as 'inferior' in some way.

When and as I see myself going into the self-suppression character so that I can hide from others and not be judged by them as inferior in some way, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that hiding from others so as to not be judged by them is not going to protect me in anyway. I see, realize, and understand that it is not others who have judged me, but it is me who has judged myself as inferior, as dull, boring, not so smart, and not capable in a financial way and thus when in the presence of others of whom I believe possess these traits I 'freeze-up' so that I do not have to face myself as these traits. I see, realize, and understand that hiding in the self-suppression character is no solution – that the solution is to breathe and remain here and face the self-judgments that I have placed on myself that is the root of this 'problem'

Thus, I commit myself to breathe and remain here when in the presence of others that I see possess the traits of 'good-looks', 'likable personalities', and 'financial success'.

I commit myself to remain here and breathe and interact equal and one with these beings where I do not go into the self-suppression character – wherein when I desire to suppress myself I choose the breath instead and remain here and speak and interact equal and one.

I commit myself to face myself self-judgments that I am not 'good-looking', that I am not 'fun and exciting to be around', 'that I am not capable of financial success' through breathing through this backchat and facing this further in future writings.

I commit myself to face the fears and self-judgments that I have created within and as myself in relation to these points that cause me to go into the desire to go into the self-suppression character as I see, realize, and understand that in order for me to move through the self-suppression character that I created within and as myself I have to face the feelings, self-judgments, backchat, and personalities that I would like suppress as well as the fears that I have if others that I judge to be superior to me in some way, were to see who I really am.

I see, realize, and understand that we are all equals and that superiority and inferiority exist only in the mind within and as the act of comparison and judgment. I commit myself to stopping the act of comparison and judgment.

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