Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Day 220 – The belief that I need energy to exist and be happy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need energy, the energy of the mind, to be happy and to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the creation and generation of energetic experiences as feelings of excitement and happiness instead of living right here and breathing and living as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself the belief that ‘life is not worth living’ if I am not always being entertained and possessing feelings of excitement and happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious of where my thoughts might lead when I see, realize, and understand that my thoughts will only lead me into internal conversations that in-turn will lead me into emotional and feeling experiences within and as my mind in separation of here, equal and one living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to con myself into believing that my thoughts have something to offer me that I don’t already have.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the more that I participate in thoughts, feelings, and emotions – the stronger they wax and gain control over me to a point that I feel as if ‘I must take action’ thus further enslaving me to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself in separation from myself as everything – secret desires to possess things and experience things in order to bring me happiness, excitement, and stimulation in order to feel like I am really living.

When and as I see myself going into the belief / thought that ‘my thoughts have something to offer me and I must participate in them and fulfill my desires in order to be happy and satisfied with life’, I stop and I breathe.  I see, realize, and understand that I am here already, as the physical, as the breathe, of life – in need of nothing to be here, content, satisfied, and happy.  I thus, commit myself to speak out load self-forgiveness in the moment that I see that I have a desire to go in and follow my thoughts, my impulses, my desires to be fulfilled, entertained, and stimulated – so as to stop myself in that moment and breathe and live here, equal and one, as the physical, of life.

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