Day 224 – Judgment / Suppression / Physical possession continued

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I accept and allow myself to create judgments of others as back-chats / internal dialogs in my head that I, depending on the judgments, am creating a positive or negative energy charge that is then contained within and as me that then will have to be eventually released / acted upon when the appropriate trigger occurs.   Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when the trigger occurs – that moment when something in my external world has triggered the stored energy of those judgments to activate into more backchat / internal conversations / personalities / characters that rush forth into my mind as accumulated thoughts all happening at once and then that backchat becomes so overwhelming that I then go further into the backchat of ‘I cannot contain this anymore.  I must act on this – that this is the time for me to step in and be self-directive and say ‘I stop’ but instead the energy by that time is too overwhelming for me and swoops me up into like a storm because I haven’t been self-directive before that point when I was able to manage and stop the energy when it was less intense.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make judgments of others, positive or negative, instead of stopping those judgments with self-forgiveness and breath in the moment – thus clearing those judgments in the moment so that they will not come back to haunt me in the future.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I go into a mind-possession where my mind literally takes control of my physical body and behavior- that this possession occurred because of memories that I have stored in the past that have accumulated overtime to a point where they become the foundation for a total mind-possession.  Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that mind-possessions are only possible through not being here equal and one with the breath in every moment that then thus accumulates into systems that can possess me – thus mind possession show me who I have been in the past – that I have not been living in equality in the past. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the mind to direct me with internal conversations, comparisons, and judgments and that within this where am I?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the back-chat ‘I must act on this at this time.  I cannot let this go.’ when and as someone or something has triggered past stored memories of judgments that I have made to surface and then go into a total mind possession.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a mind possession where I act on all those judgments that I have made where I take a backseat to my mind as it reels in the energy of acting on all the stored emotions and feelings that I have accepted and allowed over time to accumulate.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be the directive power over me where I am here in every breath directing me.  Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if I were always here living as the breath then there would be no memories as judgments to accumulate and direct once a certain trigger occurs because I would always be living her in the present instead of the past.