Day 227 – The Anger Character - Writing it Out

In today’s blog, I am revisiting the anger character with a little more clarity.  So, from what I see, I accept and allow points of annoyance / frustration with others or even in-animate objects to build and accumulate to a point of eventual anger – wherein the situations that initially trigger frustration / annoyance within and as me, eventually act as triggers for an outburst of anger – this is the point at which time I have, and relate to within and as myself, back-chat like ‘I cannot take it any longer.  I must act.  I cannot just let this go any longer.’ 

Also, before these points accumulate to become triggers for the activation of the anger character – I release some of this tension within the annoyance / frustration characters through sarcasm – which is a sutble, sly, backhanded form of anger.

In addition there is like this fear of letting ‘it go’ – of whatever the annoyance / frustration point is, and just breathing and remaining here in equality – as if, ‘if I were to let it go and just breathe, then something bad might happen to me.  So, these points that accumulate through suppression, and eventually become triggers to activate the anger character within and as me, are also driven by fear. 

So, to paint a picture of this – something happens or someone does something where I react with annoyance / frustration.  That point is contained / suppressed as I do not act on it so much or maybe with just a little sarcasm.  Then this point accumulates over time through suppression when and as these same or similar situations that trigger annoyance / frustration, happens again.  Eventually these points, whatever they may be, act and become triggers for an outburst of anger / anger character – this is the point where I ‘cannot take it any longer.’  Within this point, I also feel justified as well.  So the justification character plays a role here as well as the fear, annoyance, and frustration characters – all of which is supporting the eventual activation of the anger character. 

Once the anger character activates within and as me, I feel out of control up to the point of physical harm of others.  That’s where I cut-it off.  So, my voice raises, I talk over others, my shoulders tighten, my blood-pressure goes up, I curse a little, and I let out most of my secret mind that applies to the situation at hand as ‘the gloves are off’ and I am no longer ‘being nice.’  I am mind possessed within the point that I cannot stop this character until the energy of this character has run its course.

Self-Forgiveness and corrective application to follow.