Day 142 – Beliefs continued

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my thoughts are who I really am, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by thoughts as energy by reacting to them as they come up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'it is natural for a man to desire and need to see and experience the perfect female physical form' because within that belief, that it is 'natural', I have justified myself in accepting and allowing myself to objectify the female form for my own pleasure – where I derive a reaction of excitement as energy from looking at the female form and judging it, in separation myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within believing that the objectification of the female form is 'natural and normal' for a 'man' that I am also alleviating an emotional reaction of guilt that may be associated with this if I were to believe otherwise. And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set-up a belief-system about who I am as a man in relation to women / the female form that allows me to follow my emotional energetic reactions and desires that I have towards women.

I forgive myself that that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow an idea to emerge within myself and then attach justifications and self-righteousness to it along with emotional bodies / reactions and thus turn it into a belief within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I have to allow the premise of the self-righteousness and the justifications to exist within and as me in order for these justifications and self-righteousness to exist within and as me in order to form and support the creation of beliefs starting with ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for my beliefs within and as my reactions to others when my beliefs are challenged, and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I react defensively, like when I say 'it is just the way it is' etc., that is showing me that I am operating from a starting point of belief where I have not tested that point in common sense to see if it is something that stands on its on in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my emotional and feeling reactions are real, that they are who I really am, and within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that every time I react, either positive or negative, that I accepting and allowed myself to be directed by energy where I am activating a pre-programmed system that possesses me and controls me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'people cannot change. That I cannot change” because within this belief I justify my own resistance to change and to taking self-responsibility for standing up living self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'I am bored or can be bored' when and as the emotional feeling as energy emerges within and as myself of boredom – because I see, realize, and understand that I myself created this pre-programmed energetic reaction of boredom that comes up in times of low distractions, where there is not many options available to distract me from myself being here.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that this belief that 'I am bored or can be bored', serves my self-interest in pursuing things, tasks, or material objects that create a positive energetic reaction within self so that I can feel good, happy, and satisfied with my experience of self, instead of living happy and satisfied as who I am in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living happiness and satisfaction as who I am in every breath, and then create the idea of 'I am bored' as a fear reaction and then turn this idea into a belief by charging it with emotional bodies and the justification that 'this is who I am', that 'I am this boredom' and 'I need to be relieved of this boredom.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the idea that 'I cannot stop myself from reacting' because within this believe I justify and make it 'right' that I don't have to stand up and that I fear standing up and taking self-responsibility to align myself of life, as the physical, in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'I need something more than myself, that the breath, than what is right here before me, and that I am not enough for myself.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in the idea that 'everyone needs someone in order to be happy' because that is what was told to me as a child and I accepted that belief without testing it within common sense within the physical within what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly believe that beliefs that exist within and as me with no self-awareness, and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that beliefs come from past generations that I accepted as true and real without actually ever testing them.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that anything that I take to be real, or act upon as if it is real is a belief so long as I have not tested it in common sense, in the physical, and explored its outflow of consequence to see if it is best for all – and thus also I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that any and all beliefs that I hold and that direct me are only there through my acceptance and allowance through my own lack of self-awareness – showing me that I am not really here as life so long as beliefs exists within and as me.